Consistently Inconsistent

Joy Bomb.

2012-01-25T21:59:00.001-06:00

I realize God has purpose and a calling for each of our lives but I didn't realize how much that purpose could be revealed in even a 6 month old.

From the time she was just a few weeks old, Jordan has exuded PURE JOY from her smiles and through her eyes. I can't explain it with words the way she's able to bring the most brilliant sunshine to everyone who has the chance to meet her, her joy is overwhelmingly contagious!

As her mom, I'm quickly learning this kid has an important role and I shake my head in disbelief over the fact she seems to be aware of it too. Yesterday was Jordan's 6 month birthday and for the occasion I dressed her up in a pink frou frou dress from Grandma Kilgore.

Later in the day, we were tooling around Hobby Lobby looking for supplies for a shower I'm helping throw for a friend this weekend. Pushing a cart with Jordan in my arms, I stopped to ask an employee where I could find a particular something. She looked up from what she was doing with a heavy sigh and a weary look on her face. As her gaze almost immediately transferred from me to the now bouncing baby in my arms, a light, a peace, and a laughter washed over her and the sight absolutely took my breath away. I looked down at Jordan, now kicking and shrieking, her mouth open in the biggest smile she could give like a gift to this new friend she'd made. An explosion of joy! The woman gasped, put her hand on her heart to brace herself and shook her head. "Wow!" she said "She just made my day." I felt like a fly on the wall and realized this was just Jordan doing her thing.

Later on down another aisle, I shifted my wriggly baby to my right side, her little booty resting on my hip as I concentrated hard on my many options up on the shelf. I felt her start kicking and bouncing again, the shrieks came next and I looked up to see another woman stopped in her tracks by Jordan, hands on knees, bright smile across her face, exclaiming over what a joyous baby she could tell Jordan was. She said to me "She found me! She was doing this before I even made eye contact with her!" And then yelled "Irene, get over here, you've got to see this baby!"

Irene (her friend?) came out from behind the aisle of fabrics and just lost it. These two women fell to mush as Jordan continued to create this glittery and magical moment of silliness full of hysterical laughter and such love radiating from her beautiful blue eyes. I was holding Jordan, but it was as though I really wasn't even there!

And finally, as we stood looking for a birthday card, a sweet older lady came flying around the corner and almost ran into us. She had her head down but as soon as she looked up to apologize, Jordan caught her eye and started her magic. I swear this woman initially looked worn and stressed, but the exhaustion disappeared and a peace settled over her as Jordan smiled and cooed and drew her in. I did a double take and noticed tears had welled up in her eyes. She reached for Jordan's shoeless foot (it fell off at home before we'd even left) and said "Well aren't you a special little girl. You just made my day."

On our drive home, I praised God over and over for that little toot!! I prayed out loud "God!! Get me out of the way of whatever plans you have for this little joy bomb you've placed in our care!! Use me effectively to teach and guide her according to all that cool stuff you've got in mind!! Wow!!"

And this is only the beginning. Happy 6 Month Birthday, my darling darling little girl. I LOVE YOU.

xoxo,

Liz

Play time.

2012-01-05T17:14:00.001-06:00

DK crawled into her play mat with her and said "So this is what it's like in here!"

Story time.

2012-01-04T22:29:00.000-06:00

She's more interested in the camera than she is in story time. Go figure.

Wide Open Spaces.

2012-01-04T13:11:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year, Happy 2012 to you! I'm so excited about his New Year I can't even stand it. I feel that with the start of this new year, my whole year is somewhat mapped out already but there are a few things personally that have me motivated and feeling more intentional in my every day than ever before.

Here are a few of the things I'm most excited about in 2012:

Jordan and me, Christmas 2011

I'm a mom. And I'm finally getting around to really feeling like a mom. I quit my job last November and trying to find balance in my new career as a stay at home mom during the holidays was crazy impossible. I have a true butt kicking friend who reminded me of the FlyLady who I'd had on my show years ago and has me really excited about household goals and organization. So that is on the top of my list of things I'm most thrilled about this year - getting organized. She says "Your bad habits didn't happen overnight and getting your house / life back in shape won't either."I want more than anything to compartmentalize and differentiate my time and focus on Jordan, DK and household responsibilities. Free my life of clutter.

Andrew and Arwyn

My baby brother is getting married. He's marrying a dear friend of mine too, someone who's been part of our family for YEARS. They are right now off working on a yacht together in the Caribbean and plan to get married in April of this year. I have a feeling this is going to be one of the most unique and unconventional weddings of all time :)

I chose a few words to focus on this year as somewhat resolutions and one of those is GIVE. Working at KSBJ I felt like we had ample opportunity in front of us as staff to give of ourselves and finances in creative ways all the time but now what I'm not there anymore, I feel the need to continue to implement this in our home, to be mindful of more and more ways to give of our time, money and love.

Our pastor Chris Seay has a new book coming out January 15th called "A Place at the Table - 40 Days of Solidarity with the Poor" and it's all about taking on the simple diet of a region in the world that often goes without much food at all to help change your perspective on the things we have, the ways we live as a "food comatose" culture, on a "journey of self-examination, discipline, and renewed focus on Jesus". DK has been shooting / editing all the video elements for this project so the message has already been wafting through our home and has made quite an impact. You should really check it out and do it yourself, with your family, with co-workers or even just a couple friends. Here's where to find more.

I used to get in trouble for reading too much. My mom would find me hiding in my closet when chores were needing to be done because I just couldn't. put. the.book.down. But I'm not that way anymore and I don't know what happened. Maybe it was college and all the forced reading? Nah. Either way, I've been so inspired this last year by my brother David and my friend Stacey who are both ALWAYS reading something new and have tons to discuss about it. That really put some fire under my rear. So that's what I'm excited about for this year, especially with Jordan. We just started on Black Beauty together, one of my all time favorites.

Michael and Emily on the day he proposed, 11/1/11

And later this year, another wedding in our family! Michael, DK's brother has asked Emily, his longtime girlfriend to marry him. DK is the best man and I was asked to stand with Emily! Jordan also has her first flower girl gig, so we need to get working on this whole walking ordeal, haha. What's also incredible is that the other flower girl and 2 ring bearers are the kids of Ben who is DK's lifelong friend (and stood in our wedding) and Sarah who just happens to be Emily's sister. The wedding is in August and is going to be a grand affair! I cannot wait.

Stacey, Lindsey and me, October 2011

I'm excited about this year also because of the things happening in my best girlfriend's lives. My girl Lindsey is pregnant with baby Moses and she's due early March. I CANNOT WAIT TO MEET THIS BABY BOY. My two strong and beautiful friends Amanda and also Stacey have both risen from a difficult year behind them and I know there are some fantastic promises in store for them this year. I know it, I know it. My sweet sister Kim has a year full of Amelia, her new home, new artwork and travels on the horizon. Becky just moved far away to Indy and has a whole new world to explore and settle into this year. Tiffany also just moved to a new location within San Francisco and I feel like her art and work is going to explode this year, she's so talented.

Jordan is crying now, I have to go :)

Peace out.

"Liz... is a new mom."

2011-10-21T12:40:00.001-05:00

I was kind of taken aback when he said it and the words took a few minutes to settle in my heart. My new title, my newest most important role in life, this is what I'm all about now. I'm Jordan's mom. But am I just a mom?

We had a brunch this morning at the station recognizing and bringing together pastors from all over the city. Before things started, Tim McDermott our president introduced the on-air staff one by one and said a few things about each. "Jen Driskill is a marathon runner and teaches music lessons in her spare time. Mike Kankelfritz has been on the Morning Show for 6 years and has blessed the city of Houston in more ways we can count. And Liz Jordan... she's a new mom."

I smiled and waved but as I sunk down back into my seat, thought to myself, "But wait, I'm more than just a mom. I've run a marathon too, I've traveled the world, I’ve had a great career… I’m more than diapers and spit up!"

A few weeks ago my Pastor Chris Seay spoke on the gifts of the Spirit. The message burdened me heavily and for days later, I questioned what it was God was trying to teach me through this passage in 1 Corinthians. After this morning, it finally became clear what He was showing me.

Now, I can only speak for women here, but I know we all struggle with our purpose on earth, we compare our lack of abilities to other’s accomplishments and sometimes long for life situations that appear better and more fabulous than our own.

1 Corinthians 12:5 says “There are many different ways to serve, but they’re all directed by the same Lord.” He’s so clearly made each of us unique, our gifts and abilities completely different from one another, yet He uses them together, like a fine tuned machine, for His purpose. Sigh.

Later in the passage, Paul references the “the body of Christ” and how it’s made up of different parts. Verse 15 “Would it seem right for the foot to cry, ‘I am not a hand, so I couldn’t be part of this body’?” And verse 17 “Imagine the entire body as an eye. How would a giant eye have the sense to hear?”

In this new season of my life, I realize how hard it can be to see how God has purpose in the mundane. But I don’t want to look at others around me with jealousy yet instead be thankful that changing diapers and doing my husband’s laundry are things I get to do, ways I get to serve as my specific role in the Body of Christ.

Something else that altered my perspective was when I started saying "I get to be Jordan's mom, I get to be my husband's wife" instead of saying "I have to do these things..." It's a priviledge, and no one else can do it like I can for my own family.

To be thankful in even these thankless tasks, we can trust that God has meaningful purpose, is using us affectively and is moving us towards even greater things. And when you look in the mirror and the woman wearing a slept-in ponytail with spit up stains on her wrinkled shirt looks back at you, know you have the most important job in the WORLD. Take that Obama, you got nothing on us.

We've been playing this song from Steven Curtis Chapman called ‘Do Everything’, and it has a really awesome message.

“Do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you

Cause He made you to do

Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face

And tell the story of grace

With every move that you make

And every little thing you do”.

Hey There, Jordy Girl.

2011-10-12T14:17:00.003-05:00

I was waiting for the big moment when a name miraculously came to us, a moment we both looked at each other confident THIS was the name we were to give our little one. Aha! Fireworks! A Hollywood like kiss as I bend my knee and raise my pointed toe! I put a lot of emphasis on the need for this said moment, it had to be solid, memorable, dreamlike, and one for the books. It was inevitable that she would eventually bear a name, but I wanted my moment of enlightening. (Pouty lip) And at 7 months pregnant, I was starting to give up and let go.

In May, my dad's wife Mary threw a lovely baby shower for Kim and me in Michigan and we had an amazing day with cousins and aunts. But because DK and I flew standby on one of my dad's buddy passes, we had to watch the flights closely to make sure we knew when and how we were getting home. It's a tricky game to play and only someone who's flown non rev would really understand. It's also kind of an addiction. I digress.

Our window of opportunity was closing quickly as the flights out the next morning were filling up quick and our best option was a flight leaving about an hour after the baby shower that rainy Sunday afternoon. We hurriedly kissed family goodbye, dashed through the rain to the car and booked it to the airport, the adrenalin pumping and the adventure continuing. In the chaos and rush of moments like these, I love catching a glimpse of him out of the corner of my eye and noticing how strong and so focused the man is under pressure. Rawr. Again, I digress.

I love how the race is officially on once you get through airport security. Slip sliding into shoes, securing laptops back into place and feeding belts through pant loops, all while moving towards a sprint and making sure you've not left your cell phone in the bowl. There I was at 7 months pregnant, running at a full sprint towards the gate, my husband a few paces behind me. I'd like to take this moment to point out the fact I ran a half marathon when I was about 6 weeks pregnant. We were the last ones on the plane and as we fell into our seats, panting and high fiving, the lovely flight attendant up front locked eyes with me and motioned for us to come forward. Hello you First Class upgrade, you!

And there we were. The last flight I'd take with baby in belly, feeling loved and blessed by family and still thriving off the adrenalin rush from making it by the skin of our teeth on that flight. Once we were settled in and flying smoothly back towards home, DK turns to me and says "I know what her name is going to be. I figured it out and was waiting for a quiet moment to tell you about it."

Time out. Almost the same moment I get an excited idea, I'm on the phone or running across the house to tell him about it. Him, he processses it first and then waits for the perfect moment to devote to his presentation. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Time in.

I gasped. Because right then I realized, "THIS IS IT". This was the moment I'd been waiting for, hoping for and dreaming of. Right here in First Class. (Insert snobby laugh here.)

"I think her name should be Jordan. After you. It's a beautiful name, it's strong, and it's feminine."

I sat there, stunned with my mouth gaping open, nodding profusely and so touched. It made such great sense, especially because it was his idea, and it meant the world to me.

"Yes... and her middle name after you!" He told me that was exactly what he had already thought but wanted to see how I felt about it first. We decided to give his name the feminine spelling and when that plane landed on Texas soil, our baby had a name.

Jordan Leigh.

Early in my pregnancy , I told DK I was confident it would rain the day she was born, that like a cleansing rain / river, she would be born a refreshing change in the world. The name Jordan means "down flowing" and the meaning of the name Leigh is "delicate". So it was more confirmation of her name to find out that while she was born, in the midst of a drought in Houston, a thunder storm poured out on the Medical Center.

A lot of people have asked why we named our baby "Jordan Jordan" and now you know, Jordan is actually my middle name. My radio name. My mom actually chose it after I was born while she was laying in her hospital bed watching tv. There she saw Barbara Jordan, the first African-American woman elected to the the Texas Senate knocking it out and making it happen. Mom was inspired and thought "That's another tough woman I can name my baby after" and thus I was Elizabeth Jordan. Elizabeth, after my grandma.

Okay, this blog post is long enough. Bye.

Morning Girl.

2011-10-05T13:14:00.001-05:00

I've never been a morning person. I'm not lazy, I just get inspired to do 80 million more things at night when I should be going to bed. It seems as though for my entire life, I've always aspired to utilize my mornings to do things like open up my windows and greet the singing birds (like in a Disney movie) or journal with a steaming cup of coffee (like they do in romantic comedies). But in my reality, I'm slamming the alarm clock for "JUST 5 MORE MINUTES!" and then scrambling through my unfolded laundry for that missing shirt that's supposed to go with that skirt. Lovely, ya?

Why do you think I keep my makeup bag in my purse? ;-)

Since having Jordan, I've never been so excited and ready to wake up each morning. From the moment she stirs from sleep, her eyes open wide and bright as her entire face morphs into the most joy filled smile. As she opens her mouth to smile, she takes a big breathe as though she's confidently taking in the new day, certain it's going to be wonderful! Any day now I feel like she'll start laughing from her gut and I won't be able to contain myself. She wakes up bursting with energy and sunshine and now my mornings look so much different. My entire day in fact, looks a lot different now that she's my alarm clock.

Funny how those 5 extra minutes to snooze are so unimportant now and waking up before she does just so I don't miss that incredible transition from peaceful sleep to bright eyed wonderment over her new day is the best part of mine.

Good morning, little Stink Bug!

She lays next to me on her back and I watch her as she kicks and smiles and coos and blows bubbles. We talk about our day, about how much I love her and wonder out loud when papa will wake up :) I'm working hard to not allow anything else take away from these moments with her, because they're gone so fast and before I know it, I'm waving goodbye as I drive away to work. Oh how I love our mornings...

Tomorrow's post: the story of how we chose her name.

New Season.

2011-10-04T12:16:00.017-05:00

This morning before the sun was even up, I quietly crept out of my warm bed to meet Kim for our weekly workout. Before I left the bedroom, I peered through the dark at the most beautiful site my eyes have ever seen - my little baby girl snuggled up close to her papa. I'm nuts about those two, they are truly gifts from God and my life's greatest purpose... my little family.

We've experienced an incredible past few months since I left the show to go on maternity leave in July and then, the period of waiting that seemed to drag on for forever until she came were so full of growth and change. I had so many perceptions on how things would unfold in the story of her birth and will tell you now that NOTHING happened as I thought it would but the way it did, wooo-weee, I'd never have conjured this one up in even my wildest daydreams.

Part of why I haven't written here in so long is I think because I was handling the after effects of what took place and just wanted it for myself for a little while, free of speculation and opinions from others. More than anything in the world, it seemed that people were so opinionated about childbirth, childcare, and everything connected that I needed to accept my experience first for myself and find my bearings it all before talking about it. For as long as I've been in radio, I've shared details of my struggles and excitement in life, but this was way different.

Every year I go wild over each sign of fall approaching and feel an overwhelming burst of productivity, creativity and motivation. But this year I feel it 100 times greater with more purpose. And it's impossible to deny this surge of confidence or my need to make karate chop sfx to accompany my newfound motherlike abilities. But... I hear motherhood does that to you.

As evidenced by my annual blog post about my love for fall, I am crazy over this season and the anticipation to discover what change it will bring is intoxicating. Each year God seems to use Kenai, Orson and a deep thought provoking thunderstorm to help me discover the new season has arrived once again.

But this year after a long summer drought, the storm clouds rolled in and I found myself creating a memory I pray never fades.

Jordan experiencing her first change in season...

xoxo,

Silly Details.

2011-07-07T23:23:00.005-05:00

It's the little things. Got a mani/pedi and am counting things like this as "The last time before she comes". And I try to make them each special and very memorable.

Getting ready for the day she comes, I chose "Japanese Rose Garden" for my toes.

And for my finger polish, I chose "It's A Girl!"

It's the little things :)

Her Birth Story!

2011-07-06T20:49:00.006-05:00

Today was my first official day on maternity leave. I happened to talk to Kim yesterday and learned she had an appointment this morning with her midwife so I kinda invited myself along and offered to help keep her company. I woke up with great energy and was excited to see what the day would bring for Kim and me. Like, maybe a little baby girl?

I picked Kim up from their apartment near the Galleria and every new day I get to see her while she's pregnant, I'm wowed by how stunningly beautiful she continues to be. She really is one of the most lovely women you'll ever meet in your life and pregnancy makes her about a thousand times more beautiful. Anytime we're together, we make each other laugh almost nonstop and we definitely bring out the goofiest parts of each other. She's such a wonderful friend to have :)

As we neared the doctor's office (we go to different doctors but both are located in the Medical Center) I joked about how if she went into labor while I was in labor, they could easily wheel her down Fannin to her hospital in time for her to deliver. She looked at me joking/seriously out of the corner of her eye and said "Oh, I plan on arriving by helicopter."

We cracked up at the thought and went on talking about how amazing that would be and how one day Baby Spec would beg her over and over again "Mom, tell me the story about the day I was born!" Armed with that story alone, he/she would be the coolest kid in elementary school, heck yeah.

Lately I've been thinking about how I'm spending every moment in the days nearing THE day Baby K finally arrives. I imagine myself telling her how the day unfolded, what I ate, who I saw, what I talked about, what music was on the radio, how was the weather, the funny things her dad said to make me laugh, or how we came home to find Orson covered in mud again.

I guess it all started Sunday morning when I woke up earlier than usual and felt very strongly for the first time that "Today could really be the day." Dad and Mary came over to check out the (98%) completed nursery and from there we went to have breakfast at Baby Barnaby's. I thought to myself as we sat outside in my old neighborhood at the best breakfast joint on earth, "I wonder if breakfast at Baby Barnaby's will be part of her birth story?" At the church service after that, I was asked to offer up the invocation prayer at the beginning of the service and it was so special to me, I wondered again "Will this be part of what I get to tell her?" The other night DK and I watched Charade with Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn and I thought to myself how fun it would be to incorporate some Audrey into the story, had I gone into labor during the movie.

Then last night, DK got home late after shooting Boomin' By The Bay and was excited to put together the handmade cradle that arrived earlier by freight from Pennsylvania. I was already in bed reading by that point but as I went to get up to meet him in the living room, I found myself bent over from excruciating pain in my lower abdomen. "OWWWWWWWWW!!!" DK came running and asked me what kind of "OW" exactly this was. It was surely a Braxton Hicks contraction and was the most painful and consistent so far!

Soon my natural need to yell and holler about the pain I was feeling began to stir with the elated excitement I was experiencing about possibly being in labor and I think I fell into some kind of natural high as I could NOT. STOP. LAUGHING. I would yell with everything I had and then hearing how dramatic I sounded, would spill over into more hysterical laughter which would then cause more pain and more hollering. DK was highly entertained by all this and stood close by helping me walk around while laughing with me. I will never forget the grin on his face and can't imagine what he too was feeling, wondering if this was IT.

But it wasn't time yet. After we put together the cradle (more on that to come!) he put me back to bed and all the contractions subsided. But that sure would have been a hilarious story to tell her about the day she was born! We'd probably even consider changing the name we've chosen to something that bears the meaning "laughter" ... or as DK just pointed out, maybe just a new nickname for me.

Right now, I'm sitting in The Cutting Room (DK's studio space) on my blue couch while he edits and I write. DK is joking about how she's probably frustrated to hear the same fragments of music over and over again as he edits and imagines her in there saying "Come on! Move the song along! I can't get into it if you keep stopping and replaying!" She'll get used to it soon enough. I know I have :)

Kinda random, but on the subject of laughter, I love this photo I found on Pinterest.

Tomorrow the plan is to utilize free museum day to get some labor inducing walking done while staying out of the heat. Later on we have dinner plans with our good friends the Kankelfritz's and from there, who knows! David and Kim are officially moving into their home on Friday so there will be plenty to celebrate there as well. I'm so excited for them and for me too, since they are less than a mile away now!

Thank you for praying so much, DK and I truly feel a great peace and excitement and I credit that solely to all of your prayers. Thank you thank you thank you.

Baby Mama,

On Her Walls.

2011-07-05T23:22:00.004-05:00

“Every child is an artist.

The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.” - Pablo Picasso

A couple weeks ago, I received a box in the mail, one I knew was coming and knew would be incredible, I just didn't realize HOW incredible it actually would be. My lifelong best friend Tiffany is a naturally brilliant artist living in San Francisco and told me awhile ago she was going to make something to put in the baby's room. To say I was excited about this is an understatement.

I remember as kids, sitting at Tiffany's mom's glass top coffee table and drawing together, making up characters for stories and watching as Tiffany always aced each detail of every character with such natural ability. I'd eventually give up on what I was drawing and simply try to copy her drawings. And now 20 years later, even in her beautifully matured work, I can still point out details only I could recognize of the artist I knew as a kid.

This piece is a very personal reflection of her and I. The ice cream, Paris, stripes, the giraffe, and as she wrote in the card that came in the package "And Audrey Hepburn + us makes the piece complete".

The next piece of artwork in her nursery comes from another brilliant woman in my life. It's really an honor to now be officially related to such a gifted painter and I thank my brother often for marrying someone so incredible like Kim. She's just moved back to the US (you've heard me mention them often, they lived abroad in Malaysia for 3 years) and while she was away, her understanding of watercolour truly flourished. Yet another understatement.

What an incredible ability she has too for showing those around her how she loves them, just have a look at the outstanding detail and time she put into this piece for the baby's nursery.

This photograph does it absolutely no justice whatsoever. You have to see it in person. Each animal has a backstory, each brush stroke, I'm totally in awe.

I can't wait for the days when I'm holding baby girl in my arms and get to stand in front of these pieces of artwork created in her honor and not only talk to her about what a gift art is, but also what a gift these women who love her so much truly are.

And later on, we can all have a painting lesson, yes?

So I Married A Photographer.

2011-07-05T22:24:00.003-05:00

I've heard when you marry a mechanic, you drive a dodgy always needing to be repaired car. And what's the saying about the cobbler's children? They got no shoes. Ok, so I'm not nearly as neglected (not at all in fact) being married to the most brilliant photographer and filmmaker on earth (sure would sound spoiled rotten if I said I was, ya?) but recently I started to worry we might never have any decent photos of this baby in utero if we didn't make time soon.

So one night after work last week, DK made time for his girls.

It's a bit of a sneak peak of the nursery too!

This is the diaper bag I chose, it's a Fossil Key-Per Weekender bag and not technically a diaper bag, per se. But I saw it and couldn't stop thinking about it for two weeks and figured the splurge was worth it :)

More photos to come!

Company's Coming!

2011-07-05T21:47:00.006-05:00

I remember how as a kid what a huge deal it was for company to come over to our house. The prep around our house usually started a couple days in advance with an all hands on deck deep cleaning of the house and whether it was for Thanksgiving or Grandma and Grandpa Kaiser coming to visit from Detroit, it was a very big deal.

I was thinking about this in a different light, in terms of the ways I've been prepping myself for this baby girl's arrival. There are parts of myself that annoy me, choices I've made in the past that make me cringe, and quirks about me I'd love for her to never know about. And I'm talking about everything from ways I've been a terrible friend to being absolutely incapable of conquering laundry. I want so bad for her to look up to me with a light in her eyes that leaves her wishing one day she could be just like me. And part of that means ... giving her a worthy yardstick to measure up to.

I've definitely considered some serious deep cleaning action for the arrival of this most important houseguest of my LIFE. Today on my last show before leaving for maternity leave, I shared about this insecurity and how it applies to our relationship with Christ too.

And I've definitely overlooked the fact that life in Christ offers up a huge helping of His Grace. That, and as I was reminded by an incredible listener who called in, God has designated me as her mother with great purpose for such a time as this.

Prepping For The Ultimate Houseguest by lizjordan
Prepping For The Ultimate Houseguest Pt. 2 by lizjordan

Maternity Leave.

2011-07-05T21:29:00.009-05:00

Last week was pretty rough physically for me so Friday morning before work, I sat down and asked DK what he thought about me taking off earlier than expected. He didn't even flinch and was fully supportive. Why I was even anxious to talk to my boss about this as well is a mystery to me as she opened her arms and nodded profusely as if she knew the question was coming."We are so prepared for this!"

I feel really relieved and so relaxed now and haven't been so hard on myself for bailing on my original plan to work till I went into labor. I know that Sterling, Bruce and the engineers who work close to the studio are relieved as well, as I'd alerted them they'd be the ones in charge of getting me to the hospital had I gone into labor while on-air. Heehee.

Today was really bittersweet and I got really choked up as I signed off.
Farewell From Liz by lizjordan

This was taken just after my final break. Whoa life, are we really here?

Is She Coming Today?

2011-07-03T06:27:00.003-05:00

Could it be today? I woke up earlier than usual this morning and felt so peaceful, I thought "If today is the day, I want to start getting ready now!" DK stirred, asked me was everything ok. "Yes love", I whispered in the dark, "in case I need to go to the hospital later today, I want to be completely ready." We've already had two or three jumpstart "Are you going into labor now?!" moments so he knew to respond peacefully. "Are you good?" "Yes love", I kissed his forehead, "I'm just excited."

I had a nice shower and quietly gathered my toiletries together in the bathroom. Just in case, hehe. As the sun began to creep up, I tiptoed out of our bedroom and the sound of his heavy breathing with the sight of the laundry baskets he'd worked to sort the day before made my heart soar with love for this man.

I peeked out DK's studio doors thinking I might invite Kenai inside for some quiet time together, but when I saw Orson nestled up against the door sleeping so soundly it felt criminal to disturb such precious sleep. Beneath the tree next to the garage in a cool spot of freshly dug dirt I could see my girl also sleeping, but I knew she was also on duty standing guard for a squirrel DK says she's been after (and actually caught but released yesterday). She hates squirrels.

Now for some raisin bran (my greatest prego craving) and a quiet moment with my laptop to record the latest. I continually make mental notes of things happening around me and how I'll later reference it here on my blog, complete with sentence structure and arrangement of descriptive words. If you know anything about pregnant brain, you know that as brilliant as it may seem at the moment, it's gone almost as soon as it's formed. Gone, whoosh, bye bye.

I'm sitting in our living room right now. It's been a few months we've been in this new house and this living room finally feels complete and settled. It's a bit of an awkward arrangement in terms of walls and structure, but part of me wonders is it just that we lived in a loft so long, we'd forgotten how to incorporate walls into our decor and it's just taken a little extra time to get reacquainted with these common intrusions? In just the living room fiasco (dramatic exaggeration) alone, I've learned a lot about how truly compatible DK and I are. I've seen through the process what a team we are really and how our creativities bounce off and gel together in ways we don't always realize.

This is how it went. Once we moved in, the living furniture was placed and we've had so much else going on that it was never the highest priority to rearrange or put any real investment into the room. But it bothered me everyday I walked through the room and mostly because the setup wasn't conducive to great social interactions. So when DK was out of town a couple weeks ago, I found myself one night filled with great gusto and momentum and thus, rearranged the living room. At 9 months pregnant. (I figured if anything, it would help induce labor.) It felt wonderful to see how when simply changing up the layout of chairs, tv and couches, the room was actually a lot bigger than I'd realized. But it still wasn't right.

Maybe I'm fueled by the vision of incredulous looks across DK's face as he catches me in the act while gasping "WHAT. Are you DOING?!" so I seem to wait till he's out of range when I get these random bursts of superhero furniture moving strength. A couple nights ago, I was sitting on the couch when he came in after mowing the lawn and let me know he was gonna go get cleaned up. The sound of his shower was my cue and I hopped up, a map of how to get what and where in the fastest motion possible already solidified in my crazy head.

Perspiring and panting yet totally satisfied, I waited with anxiousness for him to come down the hall and see my great work. It felt so great to contribute around the house. And when he saw how hard I'd worked, he was complimentary but we both knew it still just wasn't right.

I likened the arrangement to a prepubescent kid with mouthful of huge teeth in great need of braces to help wrangle the situation. We were trying too hard to make too much furniture work in one space. But finally, when I returned from a long day of work on Friday I walked into the house and saw that DK took what I'd started and simplified it. By putting his touch and effort into the layout, he completed the living room in a way that finally made sense. It's a good thing to love sitting in your living room.

So I kinda feel like taking a nap now. Funny how my energy comes in waves! But I want to get back to this because I have things I want to write about before I have to go to the hospital.

Things I'll elaborate on later today: pregnancy photos, house guest preparation analogy, my sister-in-law Kim, the word "miserable", quiet moments experienced with my baby girl thus far, a friend going through divorce, and my maternity leave.

BRB, nap is calling me.

"Oh My Gosh, Really? No Way."

2011-06-16T08:45:00.003-05:00

I was practicing my reactions yesterday. Reactions to you sitting across from me telling me all the good scoop from elementary school. I imagined we'd sit and eat a salad or cheeseburger at our "spot" together and you would dish on all the things going on most important to you from your day or week. I would sit there listening of course, but mostly just marveling over the fact I get to be your mom.

Typically I grab my lunch on the go or eat at my desk while working but yesterday I went to Mission Burrito and sat, phone in purse, and ate my lunch alone with my thoughts. There were only a handful of others there eating and I quickly noticed the 3 ladies at the booth closest to me. Grandma, mom and daughter.

Daughter was adorable and we smiled to each other before I'd even sat down as we both filled up our drinks at the same time. You know how you can sense a person's demeanor and spirit instantly? This young lady was precious and so peaceful, she radiated the absolute sweetest nature. But after a while of overhearing what was going on at their table, I got the sense she didn't get it from her mom or grandmother.

"You're sitting on my purse, GET OFF of my purse" grandma sternly ordered and sweetly she replied "Grandma, your purse is next to mom across from you." Just looking at mom you could see she was tired and annoyed, quickly correcting whatever her daughter was talking about saying "Ten and a half doesn't mean anything. You can only say you're ten and when you turn eleven, say you're eleven."

It's been a long time since I was ten years old, but not so long that I've forgotten what a big deal ten and a half really is. I don't know these women or where they've come from so it's not for me to judge, but I did learn and take some notes during my lunch. In fact, I texted DK right away saying "I can't wait to take her on picnics, to the movies and out for shopping/lunch dates. Just her and me." He responded quickly saying he had also had a ton of dad/daughter date ideas lined up.

I won't go into the details of how psychologically, to have your parents celebrate you, listen to you, be interested in you, allow you to have a voice, make time for you, allow you to express yourself without judgement and weed out distractions just to be present for you makes for a pretty balanced kid cause I really don't even know the true clinical ins and outs of all that. But it just makes sense.

Designating a time whether they're 5 or 12, making a big deal out of getting ready to go, picking a place to eat, getting excited about what you've ordered and then being open to whatever on earth she wants to talk about. Waking up her sleepy head before dawn, filling a thermos with hot coffee and heading on a beautiful morning hike together, talking or just hiking in silence. Splurging for a massive bouquet of flowers after her dance recital, singling her out from the other kids and celebrating when she accomplished something amazing at school, listening to a song we both know by heart in the car and singing at the top of our lungs, asking her what she thinks about politics and allowing her to have her own opinion, creating an environment with no inhibitions to keep her from dancing wildly to her favorite music, chic flicks with popcorn together on a rainy afternoon, talks till 3 a.m. about why he broke up with her (loser), stopping for lunch together after shopping for a prom dress, and girl trips here and there to visit places and people we love.

These are the things I daydream about with her. I don't want to miss a moment. And I want her to know how celebrated she truly is.

God, give me everything I need to be the mom she needs and deserves.

Shirley Maclaine and her daughter. For more photos, check out this blog I found!

Three Little Birds.

2011-06-14T22:35:00.011-05:00

Every night before bed, I load up some music to play for baby girl on my laptop and play for her the sounds of my life as I read or browse the web. I've been going through the whole gamut of music I've loved in every season of my life and have relived so many phases of who I've become along the way. Incredible how music is so deeply tied to parts of our soul and can evoke emotions and memories like nothing else, isn't it? I can't wait for her to experience music herself ... hence my early start program.

Tonight was Bob Marley night. As the rhythms of Three Little Birds started up on my MOG player, I instantly recalled my most stunning memory tied to this song and lyrics.

It was 2007 and I was in Peru.

This is Arturo. He's Peruvian and I met him several years ago while visiting with Buckner Orphan Care. He was one of a few interpreters traveling with our group and was a total smooth talker in both Spanish and English. He and I hit it off pretty well and to this day when I hear Bob Marley, I'm reminded of him and this certain moment in my life that is permanently cemented in my heart.

Throughout our stay we traveled to several orphanages and delivered brand new shoes and socks (collected by radio station drives all over the US) for all. One day in particular, we traveled by bus to a town so overcome with poverty, we had a hard time determining where to even go. Eventually we came to a walled community and were greeting by not just boys and girls, but also their mothers and grandmothers. We soon learned this was a safe place for those suffering and seeking refuge from rape and violence in their own homes.

Even despite the language barrier, I found myself surrounded by a group of teenage girls so excited and curious about me, my hair, my novio, and anything else we could stumble through with what little we knew of one another's language. They wanted to be hugged, be smiled at and make eye contact with me. They were all so full of life it made it hard to comprehend the horror they'd experienced at such a young age. I didn't realize for awhile there was another little girl making huge effort to get to our group as her grandmother pushed and maneuvered through grass and rocks to get her over to us. Melissa was in a wheel chair and when she finally caught my eye, the dread in her eyes disappeared and an excitement welled up in it's place. She wanted so badly to be part of the silliness and I loved to see the other girls embrace her and make her part of the group.

But you know how there's always one that stands out the most? One that keeps part of you with them even after you leave? One that will always have part of your heart? That is Melissa for me.

Before long it came time for our group to head out and it felt criminal to leave these girls, knowing the dangers they were hiding from behind the walls of this compound. I hugged Melissa goodbye, then hugged the other girls some more. As I turned to leave, I noticed Melissa sitting there in her chair, arms wide open, ready for another hug. I hugged her again and this time whispered a prayer of protection for her. I kissed her head and then had to book it towards the bus.

As I climbed aboard the bus, the lump welling up in my throat was so annoying and unavoidable. Arturo was waiting for me with a window seat open and just as the bus shifted and rumbled forward, I collapsed into my seat with the heaviest heart. Arturo nudged me with his elbow then nodded his head toward my window and just as we passed throguh the compound's gate, I caught one last glimpse of Melissa. Through the trail of dust left by our bus I could see her waving frantically and her face beaming as one of the other girls pushed her as fast as she could, all the other girls running and jumping alongside her, yelling, laughing and waving goodbye.

I sat back in my seat and watched out the window just as the sun was setting, smiling at the sight of those girls yet fighting back tears and feeling so conflicted as to whether or not there was anything I could really ever do to help them. "Mission trips" are tough like that.

All was quiet as the bus rumbled on and I'm certain Arturo was aware of the somber emotion felt by everyone else on the bus. Before long, I heard him start to sing.

"Rise up this mornin', smiled with the risin' sun."

I glanced out of the corner of my eye and saw he had his head tilted back, eyes closed and was smiling as he sang.

"Three little birds pitch by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs of melodies pure and true sayin',

He elbowed me again and laughed as he sang:

"This is my message to you-ou-ou.

Meanin' Don't worry about a thing, worry about a thing,
oh! Ev-ry little thing gonna be all right.
Singin' Don't worry about a thing - I won't worry!
‘cause every little thing gonna be all right."

Today.

2011-06-11T22:55:00.010-05:00

This was a great day. My recipe for an ideal day seems to change often but the one constant ingredient seems to be spontaneity. A little bit o' planned, a little bit o' not. And any weekend with a delicious nap mixed in, I'm sold.

We woke up this morning and headed to our first day of Birthing Class through Nativiti Birthing Center in Spring. Finding this class was not only a relief because every other class in Houston was booked through to August, but also because the methods they teach and experiences they work so hard to deliver (haha, get it?) jive so well with what we've already been feeling was so right for us.

From mental to emotional prep, to the importance of the words used by your partner during the labor experience and all about the power of giving in to the pain, Megan our instructor led us through an incredibly informative, revealing and refreshing take on bringing a baby into the world. She also has a great sense of humor and had us all laughing a ton. I highly recommend this place, especially having something to compare it to with this day class we took a few months back that wasn't so hot. Sitting and listening to a doula reading diagrams and charts verbatim in front of a class wasn't our idea of getting prepped. The snacks were fun though.

Check out their website: Nativiti Birthing Center.

Arriving home, there was a special surprise at the front door! Baby's crib! I took lots of video and photos of the crib process and Orson was so anxious to get involved and help out.

I won't post any here just yet as I'm excited to write a post solely on the construction of her nursery, from start to finish.

After all this excitement, I was exhausted and crashed pretty hard. I'm telling you, delicious naps are KEY to a perfect weekend. Especially at almost 9 months pregnant! DK had lots of work to do so I busied myself later on with checking lists and making sure there isn't anything else we need before she comes. I've ordered a bit of a special diaper bag (when I was sure I would only use my backpack from college that I love so much) and other than that, we are ready to go! Also DK's dad is putting the finishing touches on the custom made crib he's built and I cannot WAIT to see it in person!

Around 9 p.m. tonight DK came across this blog that sang a particular tune of DK's heart that could only be expressed in his reaction that followed: "Babe, I know it's late, but we've got to try this recipe." Grilling and photography! Like the supportive wife I try to be in all his creative endeavors, I grabbed my shoes, we piled into the wagon and headed off to get supplies.

I also decided to finally try my own little spin on a banana split ... using the grill. Add ice cream and voila! Mmmmm...

On our way home, DK insisted he finally teach me how to get his grill started and properly use it, you know, in case of an emergency. I thought to myself how often we as married folks pass up on moments like this, not because we're jerks, but because it's not really "our thing" per se, and we don't understand the value of such an investment into something they're totally geeked about. I'm certain he thought I'd respond saying "Oh babe, it's been a long day, I'll probably just sit and read while you grill" but when I said "Absolutely, it's about time I do that, huh?" I noticed an excitement and serious sense of duty wash over him and that was enough for me to understand even more so how important it was to him. He's such a doll. And I really did learn a lot, thus making this a monumental day in the Kilgore household.

Well, DK just burst through the backdoor passing through to the kitchen, the scent of charcoal trailing behind him as he exclaimed "OH MAN, this is LEGIT!" So, I'm guessing he's a really happy man right now. And that without a doubt makes me a very happy woman. Even though it is 11:33 p.m. at night and dinner is still cooking. Sorry, grilling. :)

I'll let you know how it turns out!

Great day, much love, more class tomorrow!

Your Pace.

2011-06-10T11:47:00.003-05:00

I recite this to myself nearly every day: "Everyone's journey is completely different... and everyone will have an idea or suggestion of how you could or should be doing things differently or better. You've got to stick with what you know is right for you and your baby."

If you're not already friends with Becky Kankelfritz, you need to find one like her. But come to think of it, that will be impossible because there is no one on earth like her. Maybe you could start by friending her on Facebook. But anyway, she was the one who gifted me with this sound piece of advice early on in my pregnancy and I ended up getting it tattooed on my arm so I never forget.

As of Monday, I will officially be 9 months pregnant. It wasn't until last week when I googled a "pregnancy calendar" to help me calculate exactly where I was (since 4 weeks doesn't equal 1 pregnant month, ya know) and once I determined 36 weeks = 9 months I did have a little freak out moment. (And that was only #3 or #4!) I immediately emailed my dear friends/neighbors warning them how far along I was and as a "just in case DK isn't around, I will need you here STAT" precaution, Stacey and Lindsey wrote me back immediately saying things like "Call us any hour of the night, we will be right there." They also argued back and forth over who gets to hold the baby most often, but I'll let them work that out together. We all love each other a lot.

Another freak out moment came when I started second guessing whether or not DK and I had done enough research concerning our birthplan, doctor and hospital. Be careful about watching opinionated documentaries while you are pregnant. Regardless, this documentary helped stir a lot of questions that put our minds at ease and even moreso confirmed we are confident with our decisions and direction. It's ok to have pregnant freak out sessions, just remember to keep your advice circle small and spend more time than ever in prayer.

When it comes to preparation, WOWEE!! There is so much STUFF they SAY you HAVE to BUY! But it's not true. Not to sound controversial (ok, maybe just a little bit) but I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and uh... did you catch that? A Miss Teen USA rabbit trail for kicks. I digress. I personally believe when it comes to weddings and babies, there's this looming whirlwind of marketing propaganda preying on us and 1. cause us to feel their stores/products/methods are our only option and 2. choosing any other way would be detrimental to the health/quality/wellbeing of our experience. Absolutely not true.

Here's a few ways I've really stuck it to The Man in my pregnancy experience:

1. My nursery is not complete. We still haven't decided if we're going to paint, we might even wallpaper for fun. Our crib doesn't come in till this weekend and I haven't even started making her crib mobile. But she has diapers and onesies and a mama who prays special prayers in her room each day.

My greatest inspiration for nursery decor comes from this blog and we're feeling pretty great about the things we've collected for her room so far. There are several items from my room as a little girl, as well as a few pieces my mom had in hers! We've also incorporated music, travel, art, and blessings from family and friends.

I'm confident her nursery has become a bit of a collaboration by all the people who love her so much already and the detail I'm most excited about is the cradle being made by DK's dad in Pennsylvania, a true treasure we intend to pass down to our grandchildren and more. Once it's all finished we will post photos for sure.

It's important to nest and be prepared ABSOLUTELY. But if you find yourself stressing and aching and moaning and losing sleep over what bedding to choose, take a deep breathe and know it's going to be ok. Choose simplicity and things that are a reflection of who you are and what you love. And HAVE FUN!

2. I thift shop ... a lot. Once we found out we were having a girl, it's likely I broke some baby clothes shopping records with my gusto towards finding quality items for a steal. There are a couple great thift shops here in Humble near the station and it's where I've found more beautiful dresses, onesies and sometimes never even used clothes with tags still attatched. I've been told over and over again how babies wear clothes once or twice in the first phases of their lives as they grow grow grow, so why not save some money by checking our your local resale shops? Ebay is another great option, garage sales too. Just always make sure you wash everything really well.

And finally...

3. Cloth Diapers and No Epidural. There are the two decisions DK and I have made that we've received the most flack for.

With cloth diapers, I don't remember exactly how or when we decided to look into it, but I do know DK was the strongest advocate for it up front. For starters, it's a money saving choice. "Over a 3 1/2 year time period, you will have used over 8,700 disposable diapers on one child, totaling $2358 for discounted name brands and $1862 for generic/store brands." (from Tiny Tush) It's also a bit on our conscious that it takes roughly 250-500 years for a disposable diaper to decompose in a landfill. Ultimately, we want to try this for ourselves and feel the options have come a LONG way in the last 10 years making it easier to do for new parents. Nurtured Family offers FREE classes and they do an incredible job at getting you started and helping you out along the way. We will keep you posted on our poopy adventure.

And no epidural? I've experienced a few Braxton Hicks contractions in the last week and have no earthly idea what pain I'll feel when giving birth. But more than anything I've ever known in my life, I want to fully experience the adrenalin, power and emotion that comes from naturally bringing a new life into this world. God willing! We will see how it goes!

I'm feeling really ready to meet her, hold her, talk to her, and especially to see DK and her discover one another. I'm really grateful for the people surrounding and protecting us during this time and how they've loved us in such a way that helped us do this the way we felt was right for us. And I pray that for you too, whether you're past it, near it or a long way off, that you can truly relax in and celebrate the uniqueness God has vested solely in you and your experiences in life.

And since I'm being controversial, I'll close with a quote from Dr. Laura: "Now go take on the day."

*Don't worry about the tattoo on my arm, I was joking.

Shower The People You Love With Love!

2011-06-09T13:06:00.007-05:00

This was one of the greatest days of my life and I can't wait to tell my baby girl one day how even before she was born there were so many women excited and anxious to meet her! Thank you to everyone for loving and celebrating us on this day, I WILL NEVER FORGET!

The girls put so many thoughtful touches into the decor. Stephanie painted the tree on this bulletin board (and the flowers hanging above which are now being used in the nursery!) and all the ladies wrote a blessing to the baby. Also Tiffany made this incredible Strawberry Lemonade (a Tiny Boxwood's specialty!) for guest favors.

It's so fun to learn how well your friends know you through the gifts they give. Robin found and bought this coat telling me "It's so you!" I can't wait to get photos of Baby K wearing it. Zoe Grace was the star of the show and everyone couldn't get enough of her! And so many beautiful simple touches around the house for decorations, I LOVE.

As seen on Grey's Anatomy recently, "Design Your Own Onesie". This was hilarious, as all my friends were sure to put personal touches on each.

Scones, quiche, fruits, cupcakes and GOLDFISH! Essentials :)

From L-R: Brenda (her home!) Chante, Amanda and Zoe, Stephanie, Amber, Amy, Aunt Suzanne, Laura, Aunt Teddie, Oma Jeany, Becky, Robin, Gloria, Stacey & Kim. Sitting down: Lindsey, Kathy, me, Kristal, and Tiffany. Don't I have the most beautiful friends?

Thank you to the hostesses Stephanie, Tiffany, Chante, Amanda, Lindsey and Stacey for every creative and thoughtful detail, for putting so much time and love into the preparations and for considering me in ways that truly STILL have me floored. I am so incredibly grateful.

I will never forget this day!

Embrace The Heat.

2011-06-09T12:25:00.006-05:00

As the summer months approach each year, I tend to do one of a few things:

1. Complain / dread summer
2. Threaten to move to another state
3. Complain some more and say "UGH!!!" a lot.

Living in Houston is a unique experience similar to that of having an annoying little brother. You can complain all you want about him, but once someone from the outside complains or makes pointed comments, you become defensive and find it unfair that anyone could ever speak so poorly about something you actually really love.

I've lived here my whole life and know all about entering a destination while airing out the back of my soaking wet blouse or being a kid in the summer time with your head out the window longing for relief from the heat in the family van with leather seats and no a/c or to have no comprension of anything more than two seasons other than what you see in Christmas movies or out of state family vacations. It's hot here. Some say "It's not so much the heat, but the humidity" but I sum it up and say "It's just Houston."

When we determined the baby's due date was in July, I was so purely excited to be pregnant I didn't give much thought to the fact she'd be born in the heat of a Houston summer. Amanda said "Awesome! Pool parties for her birthday every year!" And I thought "Awesome, I really hope she waits till after Sharathon!" (Our annual 3 day all hands on deck radio fundraiser in June.)

But once the sympathetic "helpful" comments from friends and listeners started piling up "Oh you poor dear, 9 months pregnant in July!" I started to get annoyed.

However, with each passing day I've realized this is just another opportunity to change my perspective on something in my life that's always had such negative presence. That I have a real chance to change the way I feel about this season and focus on what it's now going to represent from here on out: a new life!

So, I started to embrace the heat.

One day a couple weeks ago I was talking about this on my show and realized what a strong parallel it was to James 1:2-4 where we're challenged to ultimately find joy in tests and hardships, that if you embrace them, "your faith will blossom under pressure and teach you true patience as you endure." And from there you'll be complete, lacking nothing.

I imagine myself in a time of growing and strengthening right now (and always) and by changing my perspective on this wretched heat I can instead be more open to so many incredible opportunities to notice the JOY and PEACE and LOVE that've actually been there all along.

Sometimes I imagine God above so patiently waiting, possibly even drumming his fingers on his kitchen table as I waste so much time focusing on crap that really doesn't even matter, but that I guess I do need to work through. Then, when I finally get it and let go, He springs up out of His chair, embraces me in celebratory mode, excited to reveal the beautiful things He's been waiting to show me all along.

So I've determined it's really simply just a choice. When I walk outside to get into my oven of a car, I choose to say "I'm so grateful I have a car!" When the sun is beating down and the humidity leaves me without air to breathe, I simply smile and choose to understand it only means we're that much closer to meeting the little missy.

And THAT is something to embrace. (Snow cones too.)

Always My First Girl...

2011-05-19T16:50:00.010-05:00

Sitting here in the studio this afternoon, the baby started to kick in a way I hadn't felt yet. Typically when this happens, I start to daydream about what she's doing in there and also what it'll be like once she's out here with us. I crack up laughing so often, she makes me laugh in the ways she moves and already I feel like I'm getting to know her so well...

My daydream trailed off a bit and caused me to get a bit teary eyed when I started thinking about the first moments she gets to meet Kenai and Orson. I wonder if Kenai will ignore her and I know Orson will be incredibly curious about this new creature in our house. But you see, Kenai, she's always been my #1 girl, it's been her and me for so many years now I can't be mad at her if she does ignore the baby at first. She really is a bit of a snob... and probably doesn't even care what you think.
We made great effort to help Kenai feel like she had an important role in bringing Orson home but when DK first lowered the fluffy puppy to her level to meet, she literally, nose in the air turned her face away from him with the most obvious disdain - this memory still cracks us up. Little by little when we weren't looking, we'd catch her giving in to him, hard as he is to resist. And I'm confident it'll be the same with the baby.

I get pretty emotional thinking about the last 8 years of life experiences we've shared together. So many storms, adventures and travels, from break-ups to job changes, she maintained a pretty vital role in the last decade of my life. But how do you ever express the depths of your gratitude to a dog? How do you properly show a canine the love and appreciation you feel for the ways they've stretched you, taught you patience, grown you outside of yourself, and been the greatest friend you've ever known? I'm confident she understands. She knows I know. And sometimes it's just an eye to eye ackowledgement in the midst of a lot of chaos (bouncing Orson) around us.
When I reflect on the moments in my life, past and present, where I've felt the most alive, it's when I'm with her. And typically because she causes me to slow down and recognize that fact. Whether we're kayaking the Bayou together or in a wide open field, to watch her experience the exhilaration of no boundaries and see her sit so tall and regally as the wind flap her ears, she absorbs every element around her and reminds me to take in the most precious moments in life, that this is where we remember how to live.
Car rides alone with DK or me are a really special way we remind her she's not just grouped into the dog side of our family, but that she too needs to get out of the house once in awhile. Even if it's to the grocery or back, she goes berserk at the thought of getting away and does a dance we call "The Kenny Bop" where she jumps and contorts her body much like that of a sailfish when caught on a fishing line. She only sits on the right side of the car (to avoid oncoming traffic, naturally) and insists on having her head out the window, even at 60 miles an hour on the freeway.

Kenai is an incredible swimmer, is a passionate fetcher, is faster and can jump further than any dog at the park, loves to snuggle and sleep in and is also a seasoned model and actress. DK shot a short film in my old house a couple years back and because Kenai showed such consistent dislike for a certain actor as he entered the scene, they decided to keep her in the shot. And like a pro, after her lines she quietly exited the shot and parked herself next to DK behind the camera until needed again.

Looking forward to this baby coming, I do worry how it will affect Kenai because honestly, this adventure would not be the same without her part of it. But she and I still have big plans together for the future. In fact my greatest dream for her is to get her into some serious snow. This Christmas I'm hoping to make that a reality for her, the thought of watching her bound through acres and rolling hills of snow absolutely makes my heart soar. She'll always be my first girl ... and no one will EVER compare.

(Photo credits: Donald Kilgore, Liz Jordan, and Chris Pereira.)

Pregnancy Has Taught Me This.

2011-05-02T16:09:00.003-05:00

I had so many ideas of how being pregnant would be, feel and change me but have been more surprised by things ... that have really ... suprised me.

It's time I take this list to my blog 'cause in my head it might not stay much longer. I had several moments of "PB" (pregnant brain) this past weekend, a couple of which were pretty confusing, so I thought I'd better document these important memories sooner than later.

THINGS I'VE LEARNED @ 7 MONTHS

1. Maternity Jeans Are Not The Enemy. When I first started showing, I was carrying really high and continued to wear my usual jeans and other clothes. I figured I'd switch to stretchy pants eventually and continue wearing what shirts I already had. Empire waists help tons, right? Sorta.

It wasn't until a visit to see Amanda in DC around February when she helped me realize the importance and BENEFIT of wearing clothes that were made to cater to my cute belly. We went shopping at H&M and she basically forced me to try on maternity jeans. "OHMIGOSH, these are so cute!! And HERE", as she shoved a maternity shirt in the door of my dressing room, "try this on too!!"

Forcing me to try them on is what it took because I was really resistant. I am so grateful because once I stepped out of the dressing room, I lost my breath at how great they looked and fit. I then realized too how frumpy I'd been looking before my beloved Amanda got ahold of me. She'd also saved a ton of her maternity clothes for me and when I left to go home, I felt more confident about my cute pregnant belly than ever.

2. Doctor's Appointments On My Own. I remember sitting in the waiting room with DK at one of my first appointments. Our surroundings still so new and unfamiliar, I noticed a really pregnant girl across the room reading a magazine and sitting on her own. The door opened, the nurse called her name and the pregnant girl disappeared into the back area... all on her own. I thought to myself then and there "That will never be me. DK has to be here for every appointment. I don't know how she does it."

A couple months later, DK had a shoot on the same morning as one of my regular check-ups and it didn't even phase me a bit. It wasn't until I was in the back with my nurse taking my blood pressure that I realized I was on my own and I started laughing to myself. "Guess I'm a veteran at this now..." Not so bad!

3. Keep Your Circle Small. The greatest pregnancy advice I've received came early on from my dear friend Becky and has stuck with me since. "Everyone's journey is completely different... and everyone will have an idea or suggestion of how you could or should be doing things differently. You've got to stick with what you know is right for you and your baby." Done and done.

Since then, I've kept my circle pretty tight, sharing details about doctor visits, my fears, my thoughts, asking advice and more with a limited number of extremely trusted women around me. It's so easy in this position to allow anxiety and fear to creep in and though I truly believe a lot of people have great and helpful intentions, sometimes too much information can just be ... too much information.

4. Baby Kicks... Whoa. Butterfly flutters, my butt!! Whoever said it felt like "a butterfly's wings fluttering against your belly from within" was pregnant with Mother Theresa. But this kid, this little fragile baby girl has been pummeling and karate chopping pretty much non-stop. Now she's stretching out into my ribs and into odd corners that feel so bizarre, yet so miraculous too.

Last night, Kim and I were sitting on the couch at home watching tv when I paused the movie and exclaimed "Kim!! Look!!" and there we sat for a short bit until Rambette inside there poked and wobbled my entire stomach with great gusto in one big motion. We shrieked so loud, the guys came running in from the kitchen to see what on earth was going on.

And then, last week I was sitting at my desk, leaning in towards my computer as I typed an email when she used her foot to push against the desk ledge, thus pushing ME back from my desk. I shot out of my chair, my heart racing, and ran down the hall to tell Barabara what had just happened.

Yeah ... butterfly flutters ... pffft.

5. I Am Beautiful. I've never weighed more or been this huge size, but have also never in my life felt more naturally me and naturally beautiful. I feel for the first time in my life this here (pointing to my belly) is my ultimate purpose in life, to grow, nuture and protect this beautiful little being no matter what. And because of that confidence, bravery and assurance that God has designated me her mother, I feel BEAUTIFUL.

6. Name Picking is Dern Tough. We can't decide. It's too hard. I thought it would be as easy as picking my "fake name" when playing pretend as a kid? I always picked Carroll, Stephanie and what else Tiffany? (Tiffany is my bff from birth, she would remember this well.) But this one is just really tough though. I want something classic, lovely, fierce, strong and feminine. DK does too, we just have different ideas about what that looks like right now. Like I told you though, we're ok with waiting till we see her face to face and deciding then.

7. I Have A Shopping Addiction. I'm currently on probation, in fact! I couldn't help myself, especially after we found out she's a girl. There are. so. many. cute things for GIRLS! What's funny is that I've never been much of a shopper for clothes myself but for her, I've thrifted, Etsy'd, shopped the Marshall's and Ross circuits and even discovered this new little piece of shopping Heaven in The Heights on 19th St. called Thread.

Not sure when my probation is up, but for now, she has plenty of onesies, leggings, dresses, overalls, a pair of skinny jeans haha, socks, new shoes and some of my baby shoes, and lots of beautiful handmedowns. I should post a photo of the beautiful coat DK picked up for her in Jerusalem. A definite fashion statement.

8. Baby Excitement Is & Isn't Contagious. When planning our wedding, I learned pretty quickly how even though I was the bride, the world and all it's inhabitants did not revolve around catering to me and my needs. While intially I was sure more people would be focused and excited for us, they too had their own things still going on in their own lives. And I've learned the same applies for the preparation of a baby. I love my therapist as she's helped me with perspective on this confusion and having learned a lot from my wedding experience, I've decided I need to be completely realisitic about the who and what I place expectations on. From there, I need to be totally assertive, telling people what I need from them, instead of me expecting them to just know. I think it helps too in balancing those that do bend over backwards with help and excitement, cause those surely exist too :)

9. Baby Dreams. One of the funniest dreams I had early on in my pregnancy was when Beyonce and I were racing around to prep for her wedding. That was nuts but oddly enough, really real! I've also had some pretty spiritual dreams, including one where I saw myself discovering a house full of young women being sold into slavery ... a few blocks from where we live now. I'm still praying on that one. The one I want you to know about most though, is the one I dreamed about HER. I don't remember where I was or who I was with, but I was holding my baby girl. I CLEARLY remember her delicate facial features, her long eyelashes and her breathtaking smile. She was exquisite.

In church a few weeks later, my friend Holly asked if we knew the sex of the baby yet. I told her no, that we'd be finding out later that week. "Have you had a dream yet?" she asked. "Yes, so funny, I dreamed about this baby girl but she ..." Before I could finish, Holly said "It's a girl!" I think your pregnant dreams have beautiful meaning and connection to something deeper and more spiritual than we realize. Pay attention to your pregnant dreams.

10. Cling To My Man. I am so clingy to him! Never before have I ever been a clingy girl who misses people desperately, but the further along I get in my pregnancy, the more I need to hold his hand, stand close to him or even touch his face. Hugs and hugs often are so vital too lately. Pretty hilarious.

I hope I never forget these times. God is so good. More to come :)

Apologizing in Advance.

2011-04-27T13:43:00.007-05:00

Hey Baby Girl...

Your dad and I were talking the other day about how dorky we are together and how one day suddenly you're going to stop thinking we're funny and think we are the single most embarrassing parents on the face of this earth. You might even beg to trade us in for new ones. We talked about the random dance parties we have and will continue to have at home... totally spontaenous dancing wherever, however, whenever the urge hits us. You'll quickly learn music is a powerful force, overtaking you sometimes in ways you absolutely can't control. In ways that cause you to lose all inhibition or concern of what others around you think about your moves. And we certainly don't. But oh man, do we have fun!!
I have to warn you though that your dad is an especially awesome dancer, that no matter the genre of music playing, I can ask him "How would you dance to this?" and without hesitation, he'll bust into the most wild and unique motions you've ever seen! Oh baby, he makes me laugh!! Sometimes I think I might explode from laughing so hard.
We imagined how one day you might have friends over to the house and maybe we even talked about trying to show your friends how amazing our dance moves truly are... I can't promise we won't embarrass you, in fact I can assure you we absolutely will... but I can promise you'll never have to wonder if your dad and I love one another.

I can't promise we won't ever fight or get on each other's nerves, but I can promise we will always work hard to get through it. I can't promise we won't embarrass you in front of your friends, but I can promise you we will strive to create a home full of love that your friends always want to come back to. And I can't promise there won't be stressful times, but I can promise in the midst of those times there will always be room for dancing and hysterical laughter.
One day when you're older, I promise you'll see that as embarrassing as we were, we LOVED each other, had FUN together and are truly each other's best friend. I can absolutely 100% without a doubt promise you that, baby girl.

xoxo,
Mama

27 Weeks.

2011-04-14T12:35:00.001-05:00

I'm convinced she's throwing dance parties and really enjoying her stay in there for now. I'm learning her schedule of when she's awake and possibly sleeping, but no matter what, if there's music on, she's aware of it. So from 3-7 pm every weekday you can count on the fact she's up and moving around while I'm in the studio :)

I feel great. Some days I feel more tired than others, but for the most part I feel incredibly blessed that I feel so pleasant. Two days ago I woke up in a really foul mood though and the rest of the morning seemed to follow accordingly, until I got to work and was sharing with Barbara about how mad I was at DK. Mike Kankelfritz peeked his head out of his office and joined in on my rant but before long they had me laughing and realizing that yes, I'm pregnant and emotional and everything is a-ok. I can't even remember why I was upset anymore.

We read she's approximately 2 lbs. now and 14.5 inches long. Hard to fathom. All the diagrams show the baby upside down in my belly but I struggle with that fact because I know I've felt feet on either sides of my rib cage within hours of one another. She's so funny... and very visible. She kicks my laptop when I'm on it in bed and while I lay on my back, I can see her bopping all around in there!

We still haven't decided on a name but this morning over coffee for him and tea (vanilla roiboos, yum!) for me, DK helped calm my premature anxieties over what a terrible parent I'm becoming for my lack of ability to name my first kid. "We've got a great list to choose from and once we see her little face, we will know." I love that man. So I've been calling her my fuzzy little Peach for now. Cute, ya? Nicknames seem to come to me better than actual official names, eh.

We've been working steadily on the house, getting things organized and settled. It's interesting how when moving from a big open space like our loft, relearning how to compartmentalize our belongings into rooms is really a strange and difficult task. If I'm totally honest, there are moments I wish my husband didn't love decorating so much because if we don't see eye to eye on what bookshelf goes where, I certainly get overwhelmed and easily crumble into feeling like I have no say. Which is certainly not true, my head just seems to get clouded a lot easier. DK is so patient with me, there is no one else on earth who can calm me like he does.

I took a big scary leap by calling a daycare center for the little Peach a couple days ago and by the end of the call, thanked the lady on the other end of the line for her calming spirit and voice. It wasn't as bad as I thought! From the time she answered till we hung up, she made me feel as though I was the most important call of her day, answered all my questions thoroughly and made the whole process seem a lot less daunting than I'd conjured up in my dramatic imagination. Ok, we can do this.

On the baby nesting preparation front, we've narrowed down the gist of what furniture we'll acquire for the nursery. I'm enlisting the help of my lovely friends Stephanie and Andrea, both of them interior designers to come help with the placement, final selection of colors, etc. DK and I are feeling pretty confident in our selections as we haven't overspent or overdone it. All in all, we want this room to be simple, colorful, and a representation of who and where she comes from. There've been fleeting moments where I've found myself slightly feeling the pressure of what we're supposed to buy, products we're supposed to use, and things we HAVE to HAVE before she even arrives. It's all pretty silly, a lot of it so bulky, and much of it unneccesaary. Someone told me early on that everyone's experience is completely different and not just in reference to the giving birth part of things. So that's pretty helpful!

Last weekend dad came over to help around the house and near the end of his visit we sat in the (very disorganized) nursery amidst all of my old dolls, her new clothes, and some lovely items my friend Becky graciously gave to us... DK had pulled a box of my old things from the garage and in there I found all my old journals, dating back to 1988. I was 7. I read every post outloud to dad, we were hunched over in hysterics... so funny to fathom my little hands writing these thoughts and perspectives from over 20 years ago. And dad agrees, I haven't really changed a whole lot since then.

There are moments like these lately where I try so hard to somehow freeze time. I know it's virtually impossible, but I feel as though I could scrunch my eyes closed just tight enough, hold my breath and firmly clench the moment in my mama bear claws and not allow it to escape me.

Another moment came earlier this week when we were lying in bed and DK was having a conversation with our little Peach. "There's an entire world of adventure out here for you and we're going to show you as much of it as possible. And from there you'll go see places and meet people that you come home and tell us all about." He went on to tell her about career options he thought would be totally fitting saying "... and if you decide to go into rock n' roll, your mama and I will fully support that decision." I layed there, my fingers tangled in his curly locks, holding my breath, again trying to freeze this surreal moment forever.

On Tuesday she was with me in the historic moments I sat at my desk and watched the live feed on my computer screen as Charles Bolden, retired astronaut and current Administrator of NASA stood at a podium at Kennedy Space Center and announced the final resting places of the Endeavor, the Atlantis, the Discovery and the Enterprise. Houston was not selected. Together, she and I were baffled, completly stunned. (I'll thoroughly explain to her how difficult this is for Houstonians to comprehend when she's a little older.)

And later this evening, she'll be with me when we first see pregnant Kim, my beautiful sister-in-law and my brother, the sharp and handsome dad to be. They're on a flight right now from Moscow (Kuala Lumpur, Singapore, Moscow, Houston) and will touch down in Houston around 2 p.m. They are not just visiting this time, but here to stay! I'm elated over the fact I get to be near my sister not just while I'm pregnant, but of course while she's pregnant as well!! This couldn't be a more exciting day, cousins get to meet for the first time ever!!

I better get to work, I have a big day tomorrow as we're broadcasting live from the MS 150 Expo. I've only ever been to marathon expos and from what I understand, it's going to be wild and so much fun! Go KSBJ Team Hope!

Love love from little Peaches and me,

Pray For Her Man.

2011-03-18T09:45:00.004-05:00

Dear Baby K,

I realized recently how even though you're still in my belly, it's never too early to start praying for the handsome and lucky man that will sweep you off your feet and into a beautiful life together. I wonder if he's already been born? If right now he's learning to walk or is discovering solid food and making his mama laugh with all his silly facial expressions? I wonder if he was born in Europe or Canada or Montana? I wonder if he'll have brown hair or blue eyes... wherever he is, I know our God knows every detail of him. I know too that he is a beautiful blessing to his mama and I know he's a miracle. I know God already knows the plan for his life and I trust God has huge, exciting, adventurous, breathtaking life experiences in store for him, including the day he lays eyes on you for the first time. Ohhh, it takes my breath away to think about.

I promise I will be there waiting for a phone call or a visit from you to hear every detail about your first conversations and how your heart fluttered when he first held your hand. Love is such a beautiful experience, is so lovely to receive and even more fulfilling to give. There will be tough times of course, but it's your mutual love for the Lord and accepting his grace into your weakest places that will get you through. And I will absolutely be here to help you along the way with those details.

I pray you pay attention to your dad throughout the years, the way he takes care of us and also the way he loves me. Your dad was the first man in my life who so diligently and patiently waited for me, because he knew from the beginning that I was the one for him. He works so hard, loves so hard, and his creativity knows no depths... and I'm not just talking about his work ethic, but in his relationship with me. Just yesterday morning, he woke up and was so anxious to feel you kicking from inside my belly. It was surely what he woke up thinking about, he loves you so much! Knowing he had a long day of work ahead of him, he made a big deal about going to get some coffee together, picking up some breakfast tacos to go and then took Kenai and me to a park where we watched Kenai run and dance around in the morning air, ate our breakfast and talked about our days ahead. You know what else I love about him? He never once checked his phone while he was with me.

To say I'm excited for the life ahead of you is an understatement, you are going to bring so much joy and light to so many around you, including the man you spend the rest of your life with. I'm excited to help plan your wedding and showers and so much more, but most importantly, I want to be the best example to you of how to love and respect your man... Right now your dad is practicing his Elmo voice around the house for when you come and I'm making the choice to smile and appreciate even his goober traits. Oh my word!! I think you'll love it baby girl, I know you'll adore your papa to no end.

Love,

Mama

Rawr.

2011-03-17T12:13:00.004-05:00

Musica In Utero.

2011-03-15T20:51:00.004-05:00

Music is a vital part of my life, always has been. DK and I see eye to eye on this and now, with a baby on the way, it's priority to us that we implement musical rhythm, variety, and history into her life even while in the womb.

Tonight, she's pirouetting in there to the Amelie soundtrack. La musique est belle!What music did you play for your baby while still in the womb?

xoxo,

It's A Girl!

2011-03-15T12:26:00.004-05:00

This news is already a couple weeks old, but the excitement hasn't worn off!

Here's how we broke the news on my show.

It's a GIRL!! by donaldkilgore

And then awhile later, I found out through Facebook that 7 year-old Douglas was not too thrilled about this news...

Douglas Wanted A Boy by donaldkilgore

AND THEN... my girlfriends I hang with every Monday night waited all day to find out the news together in person. This is how we did the big reveal.

Zo Zo.

2011-03-15T11:59:00.004-05:00

I love them each more than I could ever express, my heart so full of love for all three of Amanda's little ones. Zoe is #3, is nine months old, and I was so inspired by her red hair, fair skin, deep ocean blue eyes and extreme chubbaliciousness that I made this, Starring Zoe Grace!

Amanda's Crew.

2011-03-15T11:41:00.007-05:00

I had a chance to spend 5 or so days in DC with my bosom friend Amanda and her 3 incredible babies. The time we spent was precious and consisted of long talks between her and I, lots of learning experience with the kids, and a surprise visit to see Andrew and Arwyn in Baltimore aboard the ship they're working on. Here are some highlight photos...

I asked Andy, "Can you really drive a car already?!"

Pure joy.

My sweet Zo Zo.

"We run this block."

Like mother, like Emily...

Shopping at H&M for maternity clothes!

Aboard the Pride of Baltimore with Andrew and Arwyn!

Amanda interviews J. Timberlake on the Oscars Red Carpet asking "Tell me J, who are you wearing tonight?"

Looking forward to the next visit, possibly when Amanda is here in Houston to help get me through childbirth!!

xoxo,

Pregnant Shadow.

2011-03-15T09:21:00.003-05:00

This morning on my walk, I headed West and noticed my sunrise shadow leading the way. Typically, when catching a glimpse of myself and my strut like this in shadow form, I might put my shoulders back and start working the catwalk. But despite my efforts to work it, I found my pregnant shadow to be inevitable.

It wasn't so much a protruding baby bump or massive expansion o' hips that I saw but was something I really couldn't control. My arms and legs swinging (yes, gracefully) back and forth, my hips and waist drastically rotating side to side. Was it always this way? Interesting the things you pay far more attention to when your body is in such a miraculous state...

I see a squirrel dancing around outside my window right now, this reminds me I need to feed the dogs. I have my desk set up in my creative room / guest quarters so I'll be writing more often. It's taken us some time to figure out what to do with all of our new space in this house, unreal.

So blessed.

xoxo,

Go Outside.

2011-02-19T18:59:00.009-06:00

In this moment, I'm soaking up everything around me and feel abundantly blessed. These are the moments it takes awhile to get to because of irrelevent distractions and sometimes you have to make a choice to just STOP. I have laundry to do, I should probably vacuum the rugs and there are a couple shows I need to catch up on, but right now, I'm just gonna sit. And listen. And watch.

Today has been the most incredible Saturday. This kind of Saturday in fact, is one I always dreamed of having. One where you actually get to sleep in but don't feel you've wasted your entire day, get some sunshine and exercise, talk to a friend, get something productive done and overall, relish in each moment without worrying about the next.

I discovered yesterday there's an incredible nursery near where we live now and have been anxious to get outside and fix up our backyard and patio. It has great potential but will take a lot of work and I'm quickly finding... a lot of money too :) Usually, I'd go all in, buy more plants than I needed and make a job bigger than I should but today I stuck with what I've researched and didn't make any extra purchases. With the exception of a very important gardening accessory, of course, my new hat!

Growing up, my best friend Tiffany's mom always had the most beautiful plants and flowers blooming in their yard, a colorful backdrop and catalyst for a no limits imagination during our make believe time as little girls. I specifically remember their mailbox almost hidden by the most fragrant Yellow Bell shrub, the scent so powerful I can still smell it in my memory. I feel as though the plants that will grow in my garden, the ones I introduce to Baby K should have a story and a memory to share along with it. And when I introduce my baby to the Yellow Bells, I'll tell him/her about Bernie's mailbox.

Later on, DK and I took a trip to the Home Depot where he had to exchange some wood he'd purchased in the wrong length and as expected, we left with more than the correct size wood, but also a shop vac and a few others "much needed" items. This place is quickly becoming our new Target. In line to exchange the wood, this beautiful African American woman looks right at me, points to my belly and says matter of factly "THAT's a GIRL." We find out for sure Monday and a big part of me wants to go back and let her know (if) she was correct... overly sentimental I realize but cut me some slack, this is my first time.

Once we arrived home, I was unloading some things in the kitchen when I heard DK hollar "Babe, you should come see this." What I saw as I walked out the back door and into the backyard was everything included in a gardener's nightmare. Every plant, bag of soil, and tool I'd purchased that morning had been shredded open, dragged across the lawn and vigorously chewed on in a way that still has me questioning the "adorable" nature of either of my sweet pups. It was intentional and it was ugly. I looked around in horror but had to turn away to stifle my laughter. It was just that bad!! Orson's presence was lacking and Kenai was clingy, indicating they were both ridiculously guilty. We locked them up and eventually managed to get things back on track and now somehow have to navigate our way through teaching these dogs, who've lived in an apartment so long how to grow a green thumb/paw. (This photo, taken later on, barely shows any of the real damage.)

The feelings I experienced with my hands in the dirt, the sun on my back, digging and planting my Yellow Bells was pretty incredible. It's been awhile since I've gardened, but now that I'm pregnant there's a new emotional attachment to the life in these plants and the beauty of well creation and life. After all, it is all about mating and growing new life right?

Now I'm sitting on the back patio in my favorite camping chair, (we're holding out to find the best patio furniture for us) the wind is blowing and the kids next door are having a birthday party. DK and I keep glancing at one another, no words needed as we're both imagining our one day soon being as noisy at this. The dogs have recovered from their wild rebellious outrage from earlier and are back to being sweet pups, hanging out and enjoying the night air. DK is grilling some burgers on the grill and Baby K is moving around, I think he's hungry :)

Baby Spec

2011-02-17T13:33:00.013-06:00

Two of my favorite people on earth are having a baby! My brother David and his wife, my sister Kim are due almost exactly one month after Baby K. How does this happen?!
Don't answer that cause I already know.

As it turns out, when DK and I announced to the family over Thanksgiving we were having a baby, unbeknownst to all of us Baby Spec was present for the announcement as well. But it wasn't until Dave and Kim returned to Malaysia that they discovered there was a little miracle growing in her womb. Wow, I get chills just thinking about it.

And somehow they were able to contain the news until the next major holiday! So on Christmas Eve, Dave and Kim Skyped Andrew, Arwyn, DK and me here in Houston. We were all being goofy talking about who knows what until Dave pulled a lovely gingerbread house up in front of the web cam... and then zoomed in on two little ginger people standing outside the ginger house... with one little tiny ginger baby.

Again it was Arwyn who was coherent enough in the moment to yell something like "It's a baby!", Andrew went weak in the knees, DK skipped around whooping and hollaring and I cupped my hands to my mouth in complete shock. I still can't believe it at all. What a Christmas to remember, ya?Meet my niece/nephew Baby Spec :) Isn't he/she beautiful?!

(We Are Going To Be Friends - The White Stripes)You should listen to this throughout the rest of the post and think about Baby K and Spec together.

When I think about Kim being pregnant and how excited I am to learn more about one of my best friends as she goes through this most incredible transformation, I wish I could express to you how much love I feel. And when I think about this baby entering the world and how much my heart is already bursting with love for this kid, there are truly no spoken words to describe the feeling. (At least for right now.) But then, while thinking about all this I look down at my own growing belly and remember how I too am pregnant, wondering how on earth we are so blessed to go through this together?! I would say it's overwhelming, but it's really not. It just is what it is, our family, our timing, our turn. It's beautiful.

Kim and I talked on the phone for hours on Saturday, gushing and giggling and asking what we think about this and that. We send one another blogs and links and thoughts every day through email and are counting down the days till they move back to the states so we can go for walks, decorate nursuries together, and sit down to reflect on how noisy things are about to get.

I love to daydream about how one day soon, we'll sit in the kitchen drinking tea and eavesdrop on the little ones playing together in the other room, or watch them react to slobbery heartfelt kisses from Katie, Kenai and Orson, or watch them help each other learn to crawl and walk, and then cry when it's time to go home cause they just don't want to part.

When I think of my brother David as a dad, I feel like I know so much about how he'll be, based on the last few decades we've gotten to know one another but I know he'll be full of brilliant surprises. There will be so many elements of nature and adventure in his child rearing methods and he'll always have a lesson involved, whether the kid realizes it in that moment or 10 years from then. Heaven help the boys at school if the baby is a girl, because she will be so guarded, loved and protected for the gem she is. In order to even take her our for an ice cream, there will surely be a test of the boy's intellect and street smarts... and maybe even a loop around the dirt bike track out back, just to test his physical reaction time. But above all, I know David will love the kid so fiercely and when he looks into the baby's eyes, he'll love Kim more than he ever realized was possible.

Remembering the incredible adventures we had growing up together, I'm elated that now our kids get to discover life together. To think about the contribution of life and adventure they'll receive from weekends with Uncle Andrew, I'm cracking up at the thought of it right now. He's going to be AMAZING with our kids, I can't wait to watch him with the minis. * Deep sigh. *

I leave you with the most cherished photo as of late, my sister Kim and me. This was taken around Thanksgiving in Houston on a carriage ride from the Ferris Wheel to dinner at Sambuca.
Though we didn't realize it at the time, this is the first photo of us taken together, pregnant.

Au Revoir Dakota.

2011-01-21T17:50:00.012-06:00

I can't believe it's here already, our final weekend living in downtown Houston. Our beloved loft will soon inspire and motivate someone else towards new creative heights as it did for DK and me. Tonight we celebrate by having dinner at our favorite burger place downtown.

DK moved into this building while we were still "friends" and I actually met up with him to check it out initially. I loved that he was so decisive and even when I suggested maybe he should check out a couple other places he said "Why? I know this is the one!" Thus he officially became an "inner looper".

We fell in-love while he lived there, started our 365 because of the first photo we ever took there together, and yeah, we had some rough times too, but sometimes on Saturdays we'd sit and watch down on the street below the parade of photo shoots taking place - the block so popular for photos taken of brides, engaged couples, seniors, bands, models, and more. We celebrated a Steeler's Super Bowl victory with Michael and Emily (his brother and girlfriend), hosted several birthday parties there, watched potential hurricane storms blow in, and we even welcomed little Orson home there. Gosh, there is so much history in that space.

But the time came for an upgrade because DK had the future in mind. Read the story of how he moved across the hall. Some more photos of our space. It's the first place we lived as married folks, where Orson first met the HPD German Shepherds (from afar), is where we learned to incorporate and decorate our belongings together, where I learned that my husband loves to clean, and will forever remain in my memory as the space DK moved to with intent on bringing me home as his wife. We planned our wedding here, watched Friday night fireworks at Minute Maid from our living room, grew to love the sound of a blazing loud train at 3 a.m. and celebrated my 30th birthday with friends here. We found out we are pregnant and even broke the news to our family in this place. DK also made a lot of pizza messes in that kitchen that I'll never forget :) Yum.

It's going to be a sad goodbye but I can't tell you how thrilled we are to have a yard for the dogs, a garage for DK's tools, a room for my personal creative space, not to mention two of my dear friends live one block away, we also have a guest room for visitors, space to entertain dinner guests and best of all... WALLS!! Oh mylanta, we'll have walls... praise Jesus glory hallelujah.

Retour en Selle.

2011-01-20T11:53:00.011-06:00

The term "Back in the Saddle" looks far more lovely when typed out in French, doesn't it? But here I am getting back in the habit of blogging (in English) regularily because this quite frankly is the most incredible time of my life and I never want to forget any of these passing moments.

I am having a baby. I'm pregnant! God is knitting a life together right beneath this keyboard, at this very moment! And I'm excited to share with you all the fun details of what we've experienced thus far. It's been nuts.

I had a feeling something was off physically for a little while, and I don't know if it was fear or denial that kept me from taking a test initially. It wasn't until the weekend before Thanksgiving when I had lunch with two of my best girlfriends, Amanda and Chante, that I began to feel a surge of these confident "this is my body, what I am I waiting for?!" feelings. Being in their presence, seeing Chante so forthright in her approach to life as a beautiful, successful Christian woman and Amanda, in the most amazing shape, rearing 3 beautiful children under the age of 4. The confidence and life was all consuming and so empowering... I called DK on the way home and said, "It's time to take the test."

We drove to Target and walked in hand in hand, DK already beaming like a proud dad, me timid and sure that everyone around us already knew our secret. We selected a 2-pack of those tests, the ones you see in the commercials, paid and were on our way. On the way home, I blabbed a hurricane of rationalizations, how we'll pull this off if the test is positive and so on. DK was cool as a cucumber, still holding my hand and nodding, smiling.

The first test was positive. We didn't even have to wait the alleged two minutes it takes for the plus sign to show up, it was almost instant. DK was laughing, I was prematurely practicing my lamaze breathing. He tells me I need to call Amanda. I get her on the phone and immediately ramble on about the test and it's accuracy and how do you really know? and what was hers like and should we go back and get a different brand... and she literally yells (with 3 sleeping children in the house) "YOU'RE FREAKING PREGNANT!!"

Amanda is like the big sister I've never had and as expected, she immediately shifted into gear. I could hear her rummaging around for keys and shoes as she says "Go back to the store and get a digital test, I'm on my way."

3 more positive tests and an experienced mom to confirm there in person, DK and I were going to have a baby. It was awesome to have her there to help extingush initial fears, pray over us, give DK some pep talks, shriek in excitement with me, and have yet another "Really, God?" moment where you sit across from one another, silently ackowledging this moment and all it's beauty.

"I've been waiting for this moment for so long..." she told me and from there we reflected on the night years ago I was working the evening shift where she and Greg came into the studio to tell me they were pregnant with Emily. I remember every detail about that moment as if it were yesterday...

Though I don't know the details, I do know DK called Brandon in London to share his big news. I can only imagine what it was like to listen in on a phone call like that...

The very next morning we met up with my brothers and Kim to retrieve my mom from the airport. We made a big deal out of her arrival and had a great time together that morning, DK and I feeling slightly distracted because of our little secret.

It wasn't until that night at our place for dinner with everyone - Andrew, Arwyn, mom, David and Kim - that DK suggested we play a game of pictionary (our family is nerdy like that) on the chalkboard. DK went first. He drew a map of Malaysia and a little guy. Everyone determined that it was David. Next he drew a little guy on a sailboat, we guessed Andrew. Point to David, point to Andrew, then he started drawing a girl. They guessed Liz... and in Liz's belly, he drew a mini monster. And then the entire room went silent.

I think it was Arwyn that yelled "LIZ IS PREGNANT!" And I think everyone was still frozen, what do we do, are we stunned, should we scream, do we hug DK or Liz first? And then it was omg's all around. I remember the sound of my brothers hugging DK and giving him a hearty slap on the back saying "Man, congrats, that's awesome!" And I remember Kim's sweet voice and how softly she hugged me... Arwyn's huge blue eyes spilling over in tears from across the table and my mom, just gently touching my stomach comprehending that within me... was her first grandbaby.

I think it was about that moment Andrew asked if we could finally get on with the pictionary game already cause it was his turn... joking of course. Hahahaha, he's so hilarious.

The next morning, it was raining and I met my dad at our spot (Coco's in midtown) to tell him. He went on and on about work stuff, this and that and I kept trying to find my in, as I had no clue how to break the news. It's such a weird place to be!! Kinda nervewracking! Finally we got to talking about my beloved trip to Italy I've been talking about taking with DK. For years, it has been my dream to go back and spend a long time there, I've got the whole trip charted. My dad asked when we were thinking about going and I realized this was my in. I answered "Not at least for another 9 months."

He nodded and thought about it... and then, like a bucket of paint, you could clearly see the realization pour over his head and spill onto the floor. He looked at me with excitement in his eyes and said "Nooooo. Are you... serious?" He then spouted a variety of other filler words and asked "Did your mother put you up to this?!" Haha!

Later that morning, Michael arrived from Pennsylvania and between DK and me, it was still unclear as to when to tell him and his parents. I feel so fortunate this all took place with EVERYONE in town, to be able to tell our family (who all live far away) face to face just blows my mind. I'm sure I kicked DK under the table a couple times at breakfast, urging him to "Tell Michael!!" with my eyes but maybe we were nervous? Who knows, this is uncharted territory and we were navigating through it together being very awkward and silly I'm sure.

Mom and Pop Kilgore arrived not too much later that day and before long we were all sitting in our living room just chatting, unwinding, and out of nowhere DK asks everyone "So did you hear Michael's big news? He's going to be an uncle!" This of course was about as rehearsed as their response, everyone was totally thrown off guard! I'm fairly certain Mr. Kilgore immediately began imagining the plans for the crib he'd build. I can't wait to show you what we have in mind.

It was Lindsey that I told next, but she already knew because she's so incredibly intuitive. Kim and I met her at Tiny Boxwood's and we sat outside on a beautiful morning. It was a really special moment, to say the least... she too has shifted into gear and has been the most amazing help to me, so encouraging and generous. She is also the originator of the baby's meantime name "Baby K".

On Thanksgiving Day, we got to tell the rest of the family but come to find out they alreay knew because apparently my dad is bad at keeping secrets, haha.

The following week I was set to have breakfast with the girls (Brandi, Tiffany, Stephanie, Stacey, Lindsey) at our spot, Baby Barnaby's. (Steph and Stace were unable to make it) The night before I designed and printed out some Today's Specials for the menus to break the news to the girls. I got there early and explained things to the waittress, she was more than excited to help.
It seriously took the longest time for them to look at the menu and see the "special" but when they did, their reactions were hilarious. I got some video of it too.

I told my sweet friend Brittany at the 33 Miles Brownbag by asking if our new staff shirts came in maternity sizes cause I was thinking I'd need one. Without missing a beat, she jokes back, "Ya I know, I'll prolly need one too" and as I held a steady serious face, the realization came over her too. She was more excited and freaking out in a way I'll never forget. I loved telling Brittany.

The next day at the office, I ran into her and she asked if I'd told Barb yet. I said "No, should I?!" She rolled her eyes as she marched me down the hall to Barb's office. You see, Barb is our programming team mom and nothing gets past her. I love this woman, her devotion to us and to her family and will probably never be able to express to her how grateful I am for no nonsense encouragement EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. that pumps me up for my show. And Her reaction was really no surprise.

We stepped into her office, Brit shut the door and before we could say a word Barb looks up from what she was doing and asks "Alright, which one of you's pregnant?" We both fell over laughing so hard, it was awhile before we could explain who really was.

The next Sunday morning, we were in line for coffee before service when Chris our pastor stopped us to say hello. I looked at DK and smiling ear to ear asked him "Should we tell him?" That was all it took, Chris knew immediately, A HUGE grin spread across his face, he folded me into a big loving hug and in the same motion, punched DK's shoulder saying "You potent man, you!" and hugged him as well. His was a most memorable response, he's so good to us.

By the time of the KSBJ Christmas party, it was getting easier to tell the news and I blurted out the news to Becky, Mike (Kankelfritz's)and Christina. They absolutely shrieked, it was hilarious. Sterling (co-worker and husband to my friend Christina) already knew though because a couple days prior he was in the studio filling in for Joey and I was pulling some stuff off one of the computers when I let it slip somehow. His eyes grew to the size of coke bottles and asked "Is there something you need to tell me?!" Such cool memories, all of these.

There are a few women in my life that I consider part of my daily life who don't live here in Houston that I needed to tell in a unique, personal way. In fact, Tiffany is my lifelong best friend since before birth, our moms were actually pregnant together! So I wanted this to be as face to face as possible. DK helped me make this.*Please note, I was actually 10 weeks here, not 8!

A Message from the Kilgores (12-10) from Donald Kilgore on Vimeo.

Finally, on my 30th birthday, after leaking several obvious clues on my Facebook page, I made the big announcement on my show. In all my years at KSBJ, I never ever imagined I'd get to share this kind of news on-air.

Click here to listen.
(Thanks Springer for encouraging me to upload this.)

And this is only the beginning of our pregnancy story. Wait till you find out which one of my best friends is pregnant along with me... and who's getting married!!

xoxoxo,
Maman et bebe

Baby K is waving at you, wave back!

We're Having a Baby!

2010-12-17T11:51:00.004-06:00

We've known for a few weeks now, and after a successful doctor's appointment last Monday we're in the clear to share the news with everyone! I'm just over 10 weeks along at this point and baby's due date is July 12th, the day after my brother David's birthday.

Here's our announcement from last night:

Liz Jordan Baby Announcement on KSBJ 12-16-2010 by donaldkilgore

And of course, gotta hear from papa on this one!

DK on Having a Baby by donaldkilgore

Gumbo Night.

2010-11-18T09:37:00.007-06:00

It was the best surprise in the world to come home from running the San Antonio Half Marathon last Sunday expecting to only see David and Kim in from Malaysia and to find that Andrew and Arwyn had driven in from the east coast to surprise us all as well... I was totally overwhelmed because you see, this is my Heaven :) Thus the family time begun and the laughter ensued.

Andrew has been working on tall ships for a couple years now and has a real passion for cooking, and he's also got a knack for cooking for the masses which is a total gift. Last Christmas we did sushi night at dad's, this night he made gumbo for everyone. It was out of this world.

And here are some more photos from around the table as we played Taboo.

This photo was definitely posed.

Bad Dog.

2010-11-10T16:07:00.007-06:00

I got a text from DK today and all it read was "Bad dog" with an attached photo of a guilty looking Orson. These are my favorite texts in the world and can instantly turn a bad day silly.

Orson is about a year and half old and recently we decided to start trusting him by leaving him out of his kennel while we went to the grocery or for quick trips. Each time we came home, we'd make a big deal of touring the house asking "Ok Orson, how'd you do? Chew anything up?" as he bounced around our feet, panting with excitement, sure we were going to be so proud of him. And he always did a great job!

Kenai would trail behind us, probably rolling her eyes at his efforts to be cute and win all our love and attention. We call her our Goth Girl sometimes, she's way too mature for goofy Orson and totally acts like his too cool teenage sister. Although, we often catch a peak of her laying on her bed, sweetly tolerating Orson as he playfully chews on her ears and things. They're a hilarious pair.

Last thursday was a big day for Mr. O as DK had decided he was ready to go a whole day free of bars, he even packed up his kennel and put it away in the closet. DK was leaving to visit our family in Pittsburgh and as we headed out the door for the airport, I overheard him talking to Orson, ruffling his big ol' block head and telling him "Alright buddy, I know you can do this." To say my heart melted is an understatement. Then he said a sweet goodbye to Kenai and we shut the door.

When I returned home that night, it was as if no dogs had been there all day! No rugs messed up, no chewed up anything. But little by little, day by day, we're finding evidence that maybe our sweet little bubsie is totally falling to temptation and taking full advantage of his freedom.

While it's not unusual to find him or his footprints in the bathtub, (he's a Lab, can you blame him?) I'd never before found the chunky metal bathtub stopper on the living room rug. And my razors? He loves to chew the handles. I found debris littered around our loft and finally figured out it was one of my MAC eyeshadows he'd devoured. And he LOVES paper.

What's even funnier is now when DK gets on to him about these things, talking sternly and pointing his finger, Orson is quick to hide behind me, tail wagging. Somehow I think I'm officially the designated pushover? And while Orson hides behind me, you'll catch Kenai with her ears back and tail between her legs, sneakily crawling to safety, making you wonder what her contribution to the crime was!

So tonight, DK found his pile of loot (torn paper, another of my razors - fortunately he's not interested in the blade) on my rug and had to punish him.

Behold, the Guilty Orson.

And the Indifferent Teenager, Kenai.

This is just a phase, right? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, how I love my doggies.

Liz

Happy Six Months!

2010-11-02T14:20:00.006-05:00

11.1.2010
Dear Donald,

It's already been 6 months that we've been married, can you believe it?! I LOVE BEING MARRIED TO YOU. Every morning I wake up next to you, Orson at our feet, a new day before us with who knows what lying ahead, I am so totally giddy that I get to experience all this with YOU. You're finally here.

I thought I knew you on the day we got married, but around every new corner I learn something new about you that either leaves me choking from laughing so hard or in utter disbelief that God could bless one man with so much talent. You make me laugh more than anyone on earth, sometimes so hard I think I might explode. And in the moments I make you laugh, my heart just soars!

Last night, sitting across from you and your curly hair at dinner at our favorite place, I had butterflies in my stomach imagining all the things we want to do in the future, how much our dreams involve one another and what a great team we make. I love the home we've built together and know no matter where we end up, my home will always be wherever you are.

If the last 6 months of being married to you have been this incredible and adventurous, I'm even more ready to take on the next 60 years. God surely loves me for bringing you to me and I know He has some pretty rad plans in store for us.

So here's to years to come full of long hikes, late night Green Hornet after lights out, homemade pizza messes, dance parties, watching rain out the window with the monkeys, hollaring from my desk to yours asking editing questions, trumpet soundings when one of us arrives home, decorating our houses together, traveling, photo shoots, family holidays, downtown scooter rides, morning coffee brainstorms, grocery shopping dates, paper airplane messages from your desk to mine, thrift shopping, your singing and dance moves in the morning, goodbye for work kisses, and piling all of us on the couch together, dogs and us, forever. I love you.

xoxo,
gossip girl

Insecurity.

2010-11-02T12:01:00.016-05:00

I'm probably the single most insecure woman you've ever met. Stephanie and I were laughing together over the Beth Moore book on Insecurity recently and how the sure sign you need to read the book is whether or not you can leave it on the front seat of your car without worrying someone will see it and think... "Poor girl, she's insecure."

And that's the even funnier part, we're all totally insecure to some degree. It's a FACT. I don't say it's funny like haha, so hilarious to laugh at other's misfortunes, but funny ironic that one of the things we share in common most is the one item of great conversation we're too afraid to approach together. There's plenty of reasons for why not too, there's the fact you'll be exposed and lose the beautiful front for which you've maintained everything "together". Another reason that comes to mind is more internal, having to admit to yourself you're not perfect, able to do everything and are really not so invinceable after all, that's HARD to admit. So in my hopes that somewhere in my journey, I can find a way to manage this insane insecurity, to not let it hold me back in my life anymore, I'm coming clean.

From an early age, I was homeschooled by my mom with my brothers. I spent most my days writing scripts for movies, reading Nancy Drew, cleaning my room, lip synching to Amy Grant and the B-52's in my room, playing pretend in the backyard, and making movies with the family VHS camera. And even though we were involved in absolutely everything, there's still a part of me that felt completely and grossly different, not normal. It's pretty hilarious when throughout the years, people'd find out we were taught at home, their first response a puzzled look and a stuttered "But but but... you're so well socialized." I think I longed to be normal? To not stand out at church or in our family, to worry about jr. high boys and do mounds of homework everyday. And sure God, go ahead and add a pair of long lanky legs, a caterpillar for an eyebrow and a airline employee dad who took us on fieldtrips to Europe and Central America, my quota for being normal now completely obsolete.

There's this stop sign in the neighborhood where I grew up. When I first got my driver's license, it wasn't there but after further neighborhood development, the city decided this 3 way intersection needed a stop sign. And I was adamantly against it. I'll tell you to this day, there's a sliver of rebelliousness and feeling of invinceability that fires from within me and I still slide slowly through that darned stop sign. Where does that come from, who do I think I am?

As a teenager, I remember one Friday afternoon sitting in the living room as my brothers and their friends raced around to get ready for a camping trip. I sat there, watching over the top of my book as they prepped and within me, I started allowing lies to built up from who knows where. "They don't want you to go. You're so boring. You are pretty lame that they never ask you to go." And as they headed out to leave, I followed behind them and slammed the door on the last person out the door. I then ran to my room sobbing over the top dramatic tears because of course, I was the victim in this situation. But why on earth did I just not ask if I could go too?!

A couple years ago, I experienced the most devastating miscommunication with a best friend resulting in complete removal of us in one another's lives. To say it rocked my core is an underestimation and even though I knew the truth of the matter, that we'd both contributed to the hurt, I believed lies and believed in some way I deserved all the pain.

I was in 5th grade the first time I remember being aware that I might be fat. I was in Michigan at a cousin's house, we were getting ready to go to the pool and she, a 7th grader, (who to this day I still look up to so much) looks in the mirror and swaying side to side, hands on hips says "I better get in the gym to get ready for swimsuit season." GASP. I sat there looking up at her and thought "Do we really have to worry about that?" But then I did too.

I wish I'd read the book "He's Not That Into You" in college, cause the boy I dated then just wasn't at all. Yet somehow I made sense of trying every desperate measure over and over again - you know the pattern - feign a life change reason to break up, crumble into an emotional upheaval, "No, we should never ever break up!" and then be crippled with overwhelming jealousy when I saw him in the cafeteria talking to other girls. I suffered pretty serious depression in college and often wonder how my efforts towards projects and my future would have benefitted had I just said "Let's be great friends." And meant it.

When my parents decided it was time to call it quits, I think at first my brothers and I more or less sighed a sigh of relief, glad to know one way or another. There's a part of me that will forever mourn the devastating loss of my parents' love for one another and even moreso, my identity as their eldest child. There's a feeling of failed responsibility to protect my family, to maintain the belief that our family was immune from such tragic life transition. I would love to walk into my childhood home and hear our haunting laughter, see photos and awards on the walls, smell my mom's home cooking, experience the security felt from walking into a place that represents your entire life...

I've received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour and for as long as I can remember, my faith has been something I could never escape. It's what I feel most conviction for, more passion towards and complete peace of because I know God has a will for my life. I know He's a soveriegn God full of love and grace. And yet somehow there's this hollow section of my heart I continue to leave open for my insecurities. Within that insecurity is fear, denial, distrust, worry, selfishness and even anger. Taking hold and ackowledging this in my life has at least helped me give it a face and a name. The second part of the battle is taking the tools God has given me and fighting again this ugly Insecurity.

To claim out loud:

I am a daughter of the Most High King.

I am an amazing wife and capable of loving an incredible man.

I am a really stinking great friend.

I am a woman with curves and yes, need to be healthy and not let myself go. And that's ok!

My identity and history doesn't lie in some photos on a wall, but in the legacy my Father in Heaven has set for me.

I am a great sister and love my brothers and sisters more than I can express without becoming completely emotional. That goes a long way.

God not only restores family, but can also bring more members throughout time in unique ways and bless you abundantly if you choose to accept it.

I question it everyday. I question WHY ON EARTH He chose to put me at my job, but I have to choose to accept that for a season He's using an imperfect, insecure, and HOPEFUL Texas girl with awkward dance moves to do something at a radio station to remind you... in your ugliest most insecure places of life... you are not alone.

BIG SIGH.

Travel Dreams.

2010-10-18T14:07:00.012-05:00

It's remarkable how after an incredible weekend chock full of memorable moments, laughter with friends, fresh air, wild scooter rides through downtown, great movies and more, something will happen between DK and me, the world will freeze around us and staring into his eyes, I'll recognize that "THIS... this right here is my favorite moment of all."

We had an awesome weekend. Falling asleep on Sunday night, I'll feel the greatest amount of satisfaction in a weekend well spent if we were responsible/productive to a certain degree (vacuuming, laundry, organizing, etc.), if there was plenty of interaction with our favorite people (church, going out, get togethers), if we cooked or ate an outstanding meal, and if we had a considerable amount of time to rest. I don't have a check list per se, these are just the elements we like to indulge in on our days off. The best part came Sunday night though, when the dishwasher was loaded and running, dogs were exhausted and snoring from a day at the park with the Boyd boys, TV was off and we were settled on the couch, facing each other... just talking.

That was it for me, the moment I've waited for my whole life. But you know, there are several of them a day though, like when I walk through the door after a long day of work and the dogs come racing down the hallway, crashing into me, DK not far behind them sounding the trumpets that I'm home. Or when I'm standing in the olive oil section of HEB watching my husband in deep thought and serious consideration over which oil he'd prefer for his latest recipe. And my favorite, leaning on his chest, his arms around me as we ride the elevator to our floor. It's only about a 30 second ride but is one of the most cherished parts of my day.

And all this... with my husband. He's finally here.

As we sat on the couch last night talking, the conversation steered towards dreams of travel plans and where we'd like to go. I've had Italy on my mind for years and have wanted to go back for so long. But I told him "I really want to take our time, maybe go for an entire month and travel from London through France and into Italy." I told him how I'd wear dresses and sandals everyday, would ride our bikes to the market and get fresh flowers and vegetables for dinner, then later cook at our villa as the sun set... and stay long enough that we get to know our neighbors. Then I asked him about his Top 5 destinations and he scrunched his face. "This is kinda stressing me out, Liz."

He went on to tell me that thoughts of traveling for months at a time were causing him to think more about where to board the dogs for that long, what about the house we are now talking about buying, what about our jobs, etc. I'm sure he wasn't too thrilled that I started laughing as he listed these worries outloud but his pensive and determined facial expressions were so dang cute and were totally cracking me up. And this is where I realized I was sitting amidst my favorite moment of the weekend.

I told him "I'm not putting a when or how on these dreams that have been on my heart for so long at all. In fact, I won't attach logistics to these dreams right now because if I did, it would weigh them down, taking them from "one day" to "never at all". That's not to say it's not important to be realistic about things, duh, but I really want to continually breathe a freedom of thought and out loud imagination into our house because nothing is impossible or unattainable."

We talked more about how logistics will work always work out, but that the ability to dream is something we never want squashed in our home. Not with us, not with our kids. That man brings such a balance and grounding to my life that I appreciate and long for more of. From there we talked about Iceland, some film programs, and tons of other distant (but not that far off) dreams for the future. I'll never find the words to describe how my heart was BURSTING with contentment, sitting in the home we created together and talking about these ideas out loud.

I think the enemy really wants us to put boundaries on how far we let our hearts dream and hope because of a life situation, inabilities, lack of whatevers and especially because our budget will never afford it. Whatever!! That's not for him to decide so why let him steal it from you? Take it back!!

And just say "Italy" out loud right now. Ihhh-talllll-eeeee...

In Venice with college friends - November, 2000

Sic 'Em Bears.

2010-10-15T13:40:00.004-05:00

I've recently discovered a new way in which I could be a better representative of Christ and His love. And it happened at a football game?

Part of me is tired of expending energy in annoyance of Christians who go overboard, really missing the mark on what grace and love truly is about so I've prayerfully shifted my focus and energies over time in search of a new, more productive habit. Something that produces more delicious fruit. And besides, I really believe what mom always said about rolling your eyes too much, eventually they'll get stuck like that.

My good friend JoAnn invited me and a couple other friends to spend the weekend in Waco, visiting her daughter Emily, a freshman at Baylor. We had tickets to the game, a hotel, and plenty of conversations to catch up on so I was excited for a weekend away with the girls. It was a gorgeous day for a football game and I remarked over the energy in the air the closer we got to the stadium, weeding through a field of tailgaters, finally spotting our friends Christine and Adina through the crowd, "AHHH, there they are!" Big hugs, more spring in our step, "Let's go find our seats! Woo Woo Woo!" Whether you're a fan or not, the excitement is contagious and spreads like crazy. The crowd, the band, every fan, student, alumnus and more sporting the bright yellow and green... and the smell of nachos.

I have no idea what goes on during a football game but I love to watch and get emotional about it right along with everyone else. We sat in our seats, yelling the rants and making bear claw motions, high fiving complete strangers with every touchdown. Regardless of the fact I went to a different college 10 years ago, I was part of something fanTAStic that motivated me to yell for those boys louder, to cringe and worry about who's hurting underneath the piles of players and to get angry at the ref for making such a stupid call. There was overwhelming passion in that place and I wanted to belong.

"There's something to this", I thought as I watched these former and current students in the stands and on the field, everything about them from their attitude to the way they're dressed was an attempt to get this unmistakable message across, "This is who and what I am! This is what I represent, am part of and am passionate about!!" Being a member of this group and belonging here is something to be proud of, something that years from now causes them to bring their children here in hopes that they too will catch the fever. There's a confidence understood that years from now they'll return knowing they still belong no matter where life has taken them.

And as an outsider, I wanted to belong too... so there ya go.

I'm guessing my sort of comparison of college football excitement to the cause for Christ is pretty obvious by now, but in my newfound fervor I feel more of an ease in being just one person living my life, having a blast and making obvious the thrill that comes from belonging to a group with such a powerful legacy. I want to let His light shine so bright from within me that others see it and are hungry for it too. And though in some form or fashion this has always been my desire, at this place in my life I have a new visual on what this could look like.

And this photo really has nothing to do with anything but I wanted to show you that I had a Dr. Pepper in Waco at a Baylor Bears game. Hahahaha.
Love love,
Liz

Fashion! Runway! Lakewood!

2010-10-05T12:29:00.004-05:00

The annual Lakewood ladies' ministry Fall Fashion Show was last Friday and it was an honor to be a guest model along with Dominique Sachse, Lauren Freeman, Daniella Guzman, Deborah Duncan, Alexandra Osteen, Melissa Wilson and Kimberly DeLape.

This year was a much bigger event, as the show was held within the main auditorium where Joel preaches! These are a few select photos I snapped backstage while we were being goofballs in our animal prints and furs (not real).

Kimberly, Lauren, me, Daniella, Melissa, Alexandra, and Deborah. (Dominique not pictured.)

For more photos, CLICK HERE.

elements of fall.

2010-09-21T12:49:00.011-05:00

I tend to be most inspired to write, move, shift, be, dress, dance, and embrace life in my beloved annual fall season. When the feeling in the air points to summer bidding farewell, this motivated warmth begins to stir within me... and yet every year is more beautifully unique than the last, reminding me to brace myself for some refreshing unknown changes to come. Ironic that fall is the season for change? Whatever, I'm trying to be poetic here.

This morning it happened. It's not something the farmer's alamanac tells me (I never read it anyway) or that I see on my calendar, it's simply the elements around me and the way nature, God, and life whisper "It's here. Fall is here."

Last year, this is how it happened. In 2008, it happened like this. And oh yes, it happened in 2007 too.

It seems every fall the shift I notice occurs with Kenai's spirit coming alive in a new way, the winds of change blowing through Houston, or a change in the weather experienced from my front porch. And while all these elements are legit, I believe there's something stirring from within me, peacefully alerting me to get ready for the changes God has coming. Looking back over those blog posts and even the ones to follow, I realize I had no idea the major changes that were to come but that God, His voice riding in on the winds of the season, was preparing me.

Last Sunday morning, I woke up feeling completely overwhelmed, somehow feeling anxiously lost and aimless. I think some little feelings I hadn't dealt with due to our busy work schedule had finally surfaced and caught up to me. I felt like I just needed to refocus and take a breather. I told DK I needed some alone time and with a heavy heart he left for church without me. Alone with the dogs, I turned my music up loud. I made the bed, I straightened up the couch cushions and did a lot of sitting still. After awhile, I grabbed the keys to our scooter and headed out across town. (Fresh air does wonders and is so underestimated as a healing agent.) I ended up grabbing a sandwich and going to see a movie. Once the movie let out, I noticed the rain had come down pretty hard but had let up enough for me to scooter home to safety. I was feeling pretty adventurous, kinda shivering but loving the cool air, even laughed and yelled "YAAAAAAY!!" at the top of my lungs a few times. Feeling more myself by the minute.

Headed towards downtown on Richmond, I passed under a bridge when I felt my scooter putter. Then it started sputtering enough to worry me into pulling off the road. And then she died. I tried kickstarting to no avail, thought about calling DK but knew the only solution was to start pushing anyway, so I started my long trek home. And I pushed all the way down main street, losing count of the homeless guys I passed asking if I'd run out of gas. "Nope, must be the rain!" I must've looked miserable and like I could beat someone up if messed with once more because by the time I reached the south end of downtown, no one asked me about anything. I pushed all the way to a deserted block near a huge empty parking lot when the rain clouds decided to open up and pour out on me and my already frustrating circumstance. There I was in the pouring rain, sitting on my scooter under a tree, completely and desperately alone, feeling more lost than when I'd woken up this morning and I just began to cry.

I sobbed and sobbed hard. I wailed out loud. Looking up through my tree branches and rain to the skyline, I felt so small. The falling rain and rumbling thunder drowned out my blubbering cries which allowed me to cry harder from the depth of my heart, my gut and everything else. I haven't cried that hard in ages. I cried out all the aimlessness, the ache in my wandering soul, and all the questioning for direction. And then, just like the cleansing rain, my tears lightened up and stopped. The weight on my shoulders was gone and I felt like I could breathe again. And then I called DK.

As I fell into his arms, I felt as though I didn't have to explain a thing, that he just knew. At home, he had fresh lilies in a vase waiting for me and let me rest till I was ready to talk. I just soaked up the peace and stillness he brings to our home. Finally after dinner, we had this incredible discussion about our future, about dreams, tangible goals and how to attain them, we talked more about financial goals, and about how to gain some ground relationally we felt we'd lost in the last couple months of being busy with work. I realized God had clearly been moving DK toward this discussion as well. We decided we need to finally get new bikes too because it was how we spent a lot of our time falling in love until they were stolen at the Sara Bareilles concert in 2008. It was the most decisive and intentional exchange we'd had since the day he asked me to marry him.

To think it gets better from here just blows my mind.

I tell you all this because I'm excited about the ways I'm learning how as a woman of God, we have to be so patient with the info we come across, sometimes before our husbands do. Our nature leads us to act now or never, to inform of needed change immediately, to nag, remind, update, question and worry. This whole "waiting on God to move me instead of me deciding when to decide" as a wife is uncharted territory but with practice and patience and amazing girlfriends who I'm learning so much from, it's an overwhelmingly refreshing feeling of satisfaction and peace on the other end of each successful exchange.

To believe God is working on us both in His own timing yet somehow using us as one unit, is to choose God's will and best for our marriage.

This morning I was chatting online with my mom when I looked behind me to see Orson gazing out the window as the morning rain fell and it struck me. The season has changed again, officially. He definitely used weather and a dog to remind me again this year, but more than that He's using an amazing man and the details of the life He has in store for us to remind me further that He's not left me... that I am not aimless and without direction. I love fall, this season of change.

Love love,
Liz

road tripping.

2010-09-02T12:57:00.010-05:00

I commute 40 miles a day.

Fortunately, I drive to work and back during non-trafficky hours so I don't become the traffic induced stress monster I'm ashamed to admit lives within me. I like to think I'm just super competitive, not a jerk driver, that's all...

So because I love where we live and I love where I work, I recently decided to make the most of my long drives everyday. (I'd much rather ride the bus) I've even gone as far as considering myself on a daily road trip. I get my coffee to go, load up my ipod or audio books, and take pictures of the interesting things I see along the way.

Lately, I'm thinking about learning French.

This morning, on my way out the gate, I caught a glimpse of this mysteriously gorgeous daredevil riding a scooter. He was revving his engine and I was like whoa.

I typically see my maiden name associated with kings and royalty,
but pickles are awesome too.

This dodgy camper is called the "Cobra".
I got a chuckle out of that and think I'd love to own one someday?

I gauge time poorly and this morning even worse so I decided to roll down my windows on the way to work to air dry my hair. It looks really crazy today and I'm enjoying the strange looks I've received from co-workers.

Ahhh, the open road.

Only you can change how you look at the things around you.
Liz

the thief.

2010-08-12T22:01:00.002-05:00

I've always loved this song by Brooke Frasier. One Sunday afternoon, DK was really busy editing, I was bored and I made this.

wedding photos!

2010-08-10T11:44:00.006-05:00

We had a total of 6 photographer/videographers at the wedding. Needless to say, we have thousands of images and video to go through and are still working through it all. DK and I joke about how on our 5 year wedding anniversary, we'll have it all complete!

But here you can see from our dear friend Bob Boyd

some beautiful highlights from our wedding day!

Wedding Photos.

officially the kilgores.

2010-08-09T16:47:00.002-05:00

I changed my name officially today to reflect that I'm Donald's woman and when I came home, this was his documentation of the occasion :)

anatomy of a perfect saturday.

2010-08-09T13:48:00.013-05:00

How on earth did this happen? All of us available for a random Saturday morning casual hangtime, thank you Lord in Heaven!

Apparel: Sundresses and sandals
Location: Tiff's house, Richmond farmer's market and possibly The Guild if time allowed
Menu: Tiffany's creative and fresh melodies (recipes to follow.)

Tiffany took us to the Richmond farmer's market and besides it being so darn hot, it was really decent. Lots of options for canned goods, fresh eggs and meats, vegetables and cheeses.

Stephanie wears this hat so well, ya?

"This one looks good."

Such beautiful flowers with names I couldn't pronounce. Go later on and she discounts them.

Tiffany and Stephanie

This little girl was incredibly knowledgeable on which melons were best.

Girl talk...
Grinning and baring it despite the hot Houston heat...

Local salsa, Lindsey picked some up for her beloved. (His name is Adam.)

Tiffany was looking for arugula, where did we see it? Time to go home...

And when we arrived back to Tiff's place, Mr. Titus was waiting for us on the front lawn, just hanging out chillin'. (Somebody got out of the gate hehe.)

Cooling off in the kitchen while Tiffany made a beautiful lunch, good music was a must.

Ice cold!!

Delicious Lunch Salad - Thanks Tiff for the recipe!
2 cans drained chick peas
1 large tomato, diced
1/2 c chopped onion
4 tbsp olive oil
1 clove of garlic
1 tsp dried red pepper flakes
1 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp curry powder
1/2 tsp tumeric
chopped fresh parsley and cilantro to taste (I like a lot of cilantro
and a handful of parsley!)
Squeeze of fresh lemon juice
salt and pepper

I like to use a garlic press (or chop it) and add the garlic and red
pepper to the olive oil while I prepare everything else, then mix it
all together!

Steph likes it too.

There he is! Such a good boy!

Orange-Balsamic Salad Dressing
(stole the idea from epicurious)

1/4 cup olive oil
2 tsp orange juice
2 tsp balsamic dressing
2 tsp molasses (maple syrup would work, too)
salt and pepper
1 tsp grated ginger
squeeze of fresh lemon juice
cinnamon, nutmeg, salt and pepper to taste

And like that, it was time to go.

DK picked me up on the scooter and on our way back downtown, drove through a little rain storm. The idea of riding in the rain sounded totally romantic till the rain started to pelt my skin...ouch. But my Mr. Tough Guy didn't flinch once.

What a great way to spend a Saturday, ya?

love letter frames

2010-07-31T23:12:00.003-05:00

I saw this idea in an Ikea catalogue but the idea of purchasing something so impersonal (something with such huge creative potential to be made personal anyway) to me is ridiculously silly, so... I decided to make it my own.

I pulled one of my favourite love letters from DK, one he wrote to me while we were still friends. And I bought a little frame.

I chose this particular letter because in it he wrote about how he knew one day God would open a lot of doors for us to use our combined talents together. All this and we were still only friends. Ya think he was on to something maybe? I've always been astounded with the fact his cursive writing is far more beautiful than anyone's I've ever seen. He even signed it "Your Friend, DK". Oh, I get goosebumps. And then I scanned it.

Next, I pulled it up in Photoshop and blew it up really big. I made sure to maintain my frame size (5X7) and off centered, then tilted my favorite part of his letter.

Orson loves to feel like he's helping out, whether we are sweeping, cooking, editing or anything really. So I took a little break to make sure he knew he was totally helping me out.

And then I squeezed him some more, my little lovey buddy.

Then I sent my love letter to print.

After I placed it in the frame, I realized it turned out better than I'd imagined!

We have this unique situation in our apartment, you see. #1 we have cement walls and #2 though we could drill holes in the cement, we instead choose to be resourceful and do our part to preserve the history of our apt. So when searching for a way to display it, I found this rusty little hook way up the wall next to my desk and window. I decided to use twine to suspend it, but had to staple it in to the frame first. I think Orson was worried that this was not a job for a girl.

And there you have it. My life and love, hanging above my creative space to remind me of when our love was young and our creative potential together was in the early stages of discovery.

my space.

2010-07-26T13:45:00.009-05:00

"A woman needs her own space. A place she doesn't have to clear away a sewing project before it's complete because she needs to set the table for dinner." - Ma Olden (best advice ever.)

And because this advice has impacted me so greatly, later this week my lovely and very talented friend Stephanie will join us on the Afternoon Show to talk about the space we need to be creative and simple ways to build it.

This morning I sat down at mine and realized how pleased I am with my little space in our little apartment. Then I took a picture of it as is.

1. Kim made this birthday calendar for me last year for Christmas. It doesnt list the year, just the dates of everyone's birthday with beautiful photos of all the people I love.

2. Inspired by the Montrose fence posts, stop signs and door handles lovingly knitted by knitta please, I knitted the arm of my desk lamp.

3. I want to write a book and I've love to take my time, typing it on a real typewriter. I've been looking all over for the perfect one and just the other night I came home to find this one on my desk. DK surprised me.

4. A wedding day photo of David and Kim riding off on his moped taken by DK before we were even dating. One of my favorite photos of all time.

5. Fresh flowers. Mom always had fresh flowers around the house and so will I. (Irises are her favorite)

6. My computer. DK built it just for me and is where I blog, edit photos, videos, email, and order my iTunes.

7. Last time mom was in Houston, we went thrifting and found these adorable pink striped glasses for about 20 cents a piece. I drink my juice out of one every morning! (Matchy matchy everything is so snoozy boring anyway.)

8. I bought this mega paper clip because my papers, bills or whatevers needing immediate attention don't get much notice when lying flat on my desk. So I decided to put them in my face, in a super cute way.

9. I picked this awesome frame out of my dad's neighbor's trash, nailed an already perfect sized corkboard to the back and hung it up on the back of the shelves in our place, which is the wall to my desk. Does that make sense? (We don't have walls in our apt. so we have to use shelves and things to break up and define the space) Then I pin up all the evidence I collect to remind me of the cool stuff I've done recently.

10. Inspirations on my desk, my latest favorite is Ready Made magazine (thanks Steph). It's creative brain overload so watch out there, kids.

11. This is my pile of stuff I think I just shouldn't organize or try to fix because it's all useful. Video tapes we are transferring, nail polish, swirly paper clips, yarn and pushpins. My stuff, ya know.

Because... it's my space!

purge book.

2010-07-26T12:36:00.014-05:00

I'm fairly certain there's a large percentage of folks that when visualizing the word "purge", they imagine someone ralphing. But for me, I recall my days as a SCUBA shop girl and instead imagine how a regulator attatched to a closed tank after use needs to be purged of the air trapped within the hose. I can hear the sound right now, it's kinda like "Ahhhhhhh..." So that's my visual of purging, take it or leave it.

I have trouble journaling, scrap booking, photo album making, idea collecting, or anything closely resembling the aforementioned hobbies. And there's a part of me though that has always longed to have a sketchbook - one with purpose - but because I can't draw worth a lick, for a long time I've struggled with my worth or capability of actually owning one and really rocking it.

One day recently, I decided to buy one, make it everything I've never been able to maintain, feel awesome about myself and have NO RULES. All in one place. I selected one that is 8.5 x 11 inches and has thick enough paper so everyday feels like a fresh new canvas.

So now I keep it with me at all times. I also carry a pair of small scissors, a gluestick and a terrific pen in my bag. In my purge book, I glue things I tear from (my) magazines, things I want to create, recipes I want to try, details of the dreams I have, specifics I usually forget to pray about, dreams I have for the future, dresses I want to sew, and so much more. It's whatever I want it to be. Mine.

Lindsey does one too. Hers is amazing though. One morning at Barnaby's with Steph and Linds, we looked at one another's and I kinda got sketchbook envy because hers is done REALLY well. I decided to turn the envy into inspiration instead and since have been tracking with some of the ways she details things in her book. That's just how it goes in the creative world, you know?
I was thinking about this on my morning commute today. I sincerely believe there is an artist within all of us. Intimidation and lack of knowing how to burst your particular creativity out on the scene can be pretty immobilizing... so how about discovering your way there through your own little sketchbook?

Here's a really cool nationwide promotion going on, which I think is fatastically stirring creativity across the nation. I didn't get my idea from this though.

And just because I want you to have an extra amazing day, I'm leaving you with this photo of Lindsey just because I adore it so much. I'm really happy that I captured the smile and laughter I remember most about her.

I give you, Classic Lindsey.

i love my guys.

2010-07-26T12:11:00.008-05:00

Sunday morning I woke up early and tiptoed out the door for a run. And when I came back, this is how I found them. I grabbed my camera and got as close as I could... And then he caught me. Busted.

It's really remarkable how much personality and character we learn about Orson everyday. I can't get over how desperately he wants to please DK by being obedient and as you see here, being so careful not to move or disturb him... when you know he'd rather be harrassing Kenai instead.

I also love learning more about my husband through his methods of consistency and training his boy. It's pretty hilarious to watch these two together and what a unique bond they have.

There's really nothing on earth like it.

what I'm reading.

2010-07-17T19:40:00.005-05:00

I can't read just one book at a time.

I think I might have been born this way?

1. C.S. Lewis' "The Problem of Pain" * Recommended by my brilliant friend Hope, filled with heaps of incredible insight as you'd expect, coming from Mr. Lewis.

2. Stormie Omartian's "The Power of a Praying Wife" * Listened to the book on tape a few years ago on my morning commutes and was blown away. Figured since I'm officially a "praying wife" now I better keep this one on the beside table.

3. The Voice New Testament Translation - it's always with me.

4. Beth Moore's "So Long Insecurity" * It's Beth's latest and was given to me by my mom. Didn't realize the stir it's causing among my girlfriends till I brought it up at breakfast the other morning and was the most incredible conversation.

5. Kelly Minter's "Ruth" * My friend Stephanie started a weekly Bible study with the girls and only 3 weeks in, I'm blown away. Great conversation stirrer, great tool for studying scripture, wonderful time spent relating with other women.

6. Vogue - I study these pages.

7. Real Simple - Each month when the latest issue comes in my mailbox, my heart skips a beat. Then I designate the perfect time to sit, sip some coffee and study each page.

8. My Purge Book - her own blog post to come.

What are you reading, I want to know!

staples.

2010-07-17T11:08:00.007-05:00

Boots, vintage suitcase and travel. A few of my favorite things!

These boots I actually bought to commemorate my first successful month as an employee at KSBJ in September of 2004. I thought the idea fitting because good boots are an important purchase and I knew I'd have them for years to come. I walked into Cavender's Boot City in Humble, Texas and spotted them from across the store. They are now as much a staple as my kneelength black dress. And that's sayin' a lot.

The ruby red suitcase, I found last minute as DK and I took our usual stroll through The Guild in Montrose one Saturday. It is the city's best thrift store and it's hilarious that he and I both haven't once turned down the suggestion to shop there. We've found so many amazing pieces for around our house and this suitcase is something I categorize under my top 10 best finds EVER. It's perfectly intact, is Hartmann brand circa 1966 and the lining on the inside is beautiful! I named her Ruby. She was $12.

I'm a firm believer you'll find the pieces that steal your heart, come with a perfect story of how you two met that later become a staple in your collection of life's treasures. They represent you, your journey and your style. It's something you can't stress because in a way, I think these potential staples in essence... they actually find you.

public transportation.

2010-07-16T12:50:00.015-05:00

My day yesterday was the kind where around every corner, something random would happen leaving me in a very specific state of reaction: big smile, jaw dropped, knee slapped.

And I'm fairly certain it was simply a change in perspective on an ordinary day.
DK and I have been a one car family for quite awhile now and it's been really simple, considering he works so close to home. It was even announced at New Year's as his 2010 resolution: to use public transportation for a year and make the most of what could be considered frustrating circumstances. I love the stories he tells about his experiences on the bus and I gather it's been a great time for him to check out and catch up on podcasts, etc.

To be completely honest, I started to get a little envious of his commuting adventures, so when he tells me for 2 days in a row he needs the car I was ready and armed with my Eastex freeway Metro map and a few pumps of adrenalin. We both advocate public transportation, use it together as often as possible, but know our city has a long way to go with great potential. I would LOVE to take a train out to Humble from downtown everyday but because I could only get as far as the park n' ride stop, it took a little finagling.

DK dropped me at breakfast with Stephanie and Lindsey at Barnaby's around 7 a.m. and we sat for a couple hours talking about EVERYTHING. I love love love these women and to say I treasure my time with them is an understatement. From there, Lindsey dropped me off at my bus stop in downtown and 3 minutes later I saw my #259 barreling down Franklin right towards me. Breaks exhale, door opens and dings, I bounded up the stairs, waved my Q card and found a seat.

As we passed through downtown and out onto 59, I became a little reminiscent and somewhat pensive. It's an interesting experience to watch through this massive window while sitting up so high, looking down at all the streets, places and landmarks you're totally familiar with but now seeing from a completely different perspective. It's as though the memories I made at each scene are now dancing across this window screen and playing out a ghostly montage of my life that happened here. All this and time doesn't stop, people keep walking and I feel completely frozen in the moment.

But I remember feeling this way too as a kid leaving for camp. Loading up on the bus and waving goodbye to my parents, somehow ackowledging I would not be the same person when I returned and then as we drove away, I watched out my window the places so familiar to me and snapped mental images of it all. From way up high.

We arrived to the park n' ride earlier than I'd calculated (newbie) so I had time to spare before my co-worker Lloyd picked me up. And I did what any girl would do when stranded in a parking lot and I hiked it over to Target.

(Sidebar: I'm listening to Sara Bareilles while I blog and she keeps me writing at such a momentous pace because I pretend I'm playing the piano like her to the beat but on my keyboard. You should try it, even tap your right foot like you're pumping the piano pedal too for added musical emphasis.)

It wasn't the most pedestrian friendly route from the parking lot to Target but since I consider myself pretty low-maintenance I could handle it. Self sufficiency is pretty sexy. I wondered what people thought or worried about me as they drove past. I noticed a lot of things on my walk I wouldn't normally and as the sun shined so brilliantly, I felt so free, I started to sing a song out loud... I'm still trying to figure out the weightlessness and carefree feelings that poured out of me on this entire journey. It wasn't even that big of a deal. But I feel really different and more present than I've felt in a looooong time.

Once I got inside Target I skipped around and checked things out. I bought some gum and a funky little sundress that was $5 but as I was leaving I noticed I'd developed a little Houston summer heat stench from my hike. How convenient the beauty section was a stone's throw from where I was! Did you know that Target sells celebrity fragrances? Initially I thought I'd spray a little sample of some fruity body spray but as I perused the selections of perfume bottles labeled with scantilly clad, kinda distressed looking country singers and not so popular anymore actresses, my curiousity was grabbed by the super elusive rapper donning a white jacket and I think he was posing in front of a private jet?

There I was, standing alone in the beauty aisle at Target and in retrospect, I'm pretty sure I was under a spell because there is NO other explanation for why on earth I had to had to had to... I HAD to know what P. Diddy's cologne smelled like.

And I sprayed it on myself.

I don't know if I was more upset about the headache I had the rest of the day or that I didn't feel cool and elitest like him. That's a lesson learned kids, celebrity frangrances can't make you smell or feel cool.

Not too much later my buddy Lloyd showed up. Lloyd is an engineer at KSBJ and is really hilarious. We've had some fun at work together in the past including the time we voluntarily led an all black church in singing some Israel and Donnie McClurkin tunes and had the whole place singing and dancing. Photo proof. You never know what you're going to get with ol' Lloyd but you can't help but appreciate his quirks.

I got in the car and noticed right away some really strange tink tink tink piano music he was listening to. "Lloyd what on earth is this?" He says matter of factly "It's my singing lesson today."

And the rest of the ride to KSBJ we sang in every octave possible "AAAAND the rockets red glAAARE!!" Over and over and over again. By the time we got to the station I was laughing so hard I was choking.

Today when I drove to work, my mind was in a totally different place. I can't figure it out... but I loved who and how I was yesterday. Completely silly, productive, overjoyed and in a new way.

Maybe it's just Houston traffic...

living up to my title.

2010-07-15T13:47:00.013-05:00

If there's one thing I can do consistently, it's being inconsistent. So why are you shocked I checked out of my personal blog for so long? I'm back!! So pick up your chin and let's move on, gosh.

I did blog here for awhile though. And it is awesome, having a blog about me and him but quite frankly, two months in I'm kinda jonesin' for some things to be my own too and with something so expressive and close to my heart, I decided to come back here and purge, just me. Ahhhhh... feels good.

You should also know, I've eliminated emoticons from my repertoire. I feel that as "married Liz" I'm a bit more modern, mature, maybe even a little elegant? Emoticons really aren't elegant. Wouldn't you agree? I'm sure I'll revert back to emoticonism though once I have kids, you can't help but talk and type cutesy in that case.

So DK and I just returned from the lovely little town of Smock, Pennsylvania where his family threw a huge wedding reception for us with all the friends and family who couldn't make it to the wedding. It was extraordinary and I have so many elements I want to share with you from my first summer experience in DK's beautiful hometown. Eventually. <-- almost used a smiley there, see?!

I'm getting along just fine here in married land, learning a lot about my husband, getting used to calling him my husband and wondering how all of a sudden I'm so drawn to babies and baby clothes. Marriage is without a doubt an adventure and now that I'm on the other side of what for so long was considered "the unknown" I'm convinced there is no book, person, advice column or counseling that can fully prepare you for what it's REALLY like... you just gotta learn first hand. Wowee.

Living with this man I've learned how in one day alone we can experience sweet moments, intense, angered, or nurturing moments, even playful, creative, or ignorant moments. I'm learning the importance of my attention to his details, how to decipher when something he's telling me is really important to him versus when he's just thinking out loud and could care less. I'm learning how my reactions to the things important to him can truly catapult him into further inspired thinking... or break him down to feeling I could care less. How great does it feel to know my opinion counts to him? I've learned what strength lies within his heart, his arms and his eyes. And the tenderness that abides there too... whew.

This morning I was putting on my make-up in the bathroom mirror when I sensed his presence and looked towards the door to find him standing there, hair tousled and shoulders slumped. "I don't feel good" he tells me, to which he receives 1. a sympathetic head tilt 2. a lip pout and 3. as I returned to my make-up, I ask him what I can do for him to make him feel better. He shrugs and slowly walks back down the hall. 5 minutes later, he's back but this time as I glance towards him with sympathetic eyes, he alerts me that "No one is taking care of me." How am I to resist?! Oh, I just LOVE that man. And to feel needed by the man you love, is there any greater feeling?

Anyway, so that's whats up with moi (mwahh - "me" in French) lately. Learning married life, missing my Dave, Kim, Andrew and Arwyn, getting reacquainted with my mom in Detroit, making lists of creative things to do on the weekend, getting more excited about the women God has placed in my life, diving into a rich Bible study on Ruth with the girls once a week, loving my job and the freedoms I have to share my faith in my own unique (weird) ways, training for my 5th half marathon with friends, dreaming about the book I want to write, thinking about my future and travels with the Donald, running and playing everyday with my doggies, planning camping trips, excited about new babies (Zoe Fisher and baby James!) and my latest, most favorite thing is my Purge Book.

It's a culmination of a journal/scrapbook/sketchbook/ongoing thingstodo list/ and collection of magazine clippings/clothes i want to make/recipes I want to cook/places I dream of going/diy projects I WILL do and so much more. I needed one space to keep it all and I will be sharing this via el bloggo berry berry soon.

Next, I want to tell you all about the day I've had today!

Heart,
Liz

This photo has absolutely nothing to do with anything.

Honeymoon.

2010-02-24T17:12:00.002-06:00

Interesting! Check out the Origin of the Honeymoon.

We need your help! Check out our wedding website and help us choose where to go on our first married vacation?

The Skinny on Being Skinny.

2010-02-24T16:23:00.003-06:00

Would you laugh at me if I told you my best weight loss advice came from Jessica Simpson? It's true, stop laughing. I read an article years ago where she said "All in moderation, never deny yourself the foods you love, just don't go crazy." I think it's a healthy, moderate approach and it's worked for me.

I feel like I've been talking about this ugly place called "the meantime" a lot lately. My good friend Kristen is currently in a phase of life where she's moving, looking ahead to exciting potentials for career and more. But it's a scary place to be. My brother Andrew, he's been sailing and traveling the world the last two years but is now home, planning his next move, a place unknown! And me, I'm getting married in 66 days, in the midst of planning a wedding where I'm faced with several unsettled decisions and more unknowns than I'm comfortable with. The meantime.

I've come to the conclusion though, we will always be right here, in the meantime. Any of us could easily fill in the blanks of "If only I could just ___, then I would totally ___." The grass is always greener. One day! Unrest:(

We'll always be reaching towards something else. It's how we're created - changing, moving, evolving, growing.

And in the meantime where there's anxiousness and unrest, maybe we should just call it what it is, settle in and take a deep breath. Enjoy the meantime. Or just start calling it the nicetime?

Last week, I was devouring chips and queso at Lupe's with Heather and wondered if anyone around me knew I was getting married in less than 3 months, would they think me crazy for not sticking to my birdseed diet? Heather and I talked about contentment and being happy with who and what you are but how easy it would be to get lost in the mindset of a mega freak bride crazy obsessed with rapid weight loss, terrorizing my body and emotions, not to mention my sweet fiance and family.

I told her it had been a process for me but that I've honestly accepted myself just as I am, right now. I'm healthy, I feel good, and though I do watch what I eat and think it's important to excercise daily, I'm not about to put on hold an awesome conversation over chips and queso with one of my best girlfriends just because I'm getting married. Also, have you noticed that when you feel confident about yourself and your body around your man, he can totally sense it, is drawn in and there is harmony amongst you both? Ahhhh, yeeeah.

I pray we can continue (or start) to look in the mirror and get excited about the beautiful woman God so beautifully created. I want to be more concerned with my quality of life and confidence than the quantity of numbers on a scale. What do you think?

Bridesmaids.

2010-02-16T15:51:00.016-06:00

I have 7. And each of them are beautiful, creative and stunning in a variety of ways, live all over this great world, and each are experiencing different phases of their lives.

Kim my sister-in-law (living in Malaysia) is my Matron of Honor, Amanda is pregnant with baby #3, Domenica is currently opening a restaurant in the California wine country, Arwyn is finishing up school at Texas State, Heather is in Colorado editing and snowboarding, Kristen has become a regular on Fox news, and Brandi's blog and business are exploding.

So because I have such a unique set of women standing with me on my wedding day, a unique plan had to be set into place. And that plan is more like having no plan really at all because unleashing them to be as wildly creative as possible is the best idea ever.

So I sent each of them a personlized Bridesmaid Booklet with a schedule, fabric samples of blues I liked but wasn't partial to, their dress tag, personal comments on dresses, shoes, hair and accessories (found written underneath the fabric samples) and a note thanking them for being part of the experience. Early on, I found this photo and thought "Hmmm, not everyone has to match! And not everyone will want to wear the same style dress!" So I let 'em loose. Last week I was in Hobby Lobby and found these brilliant orangey red flowers, so vibrant and LOUD. I couldn't shake the color out of my head and began scheming... And on Saturday, we found this dress in a magazine my mom sent me, Brandi named it Chartreuse, Domenica's eyebrows raised approvingly, and I said "Yes, okay! Let's add the CHARTREUSE too!!"

This is the dress that started all the wild talk. Click on it to get a better idea of the color. I googled it and love this definition: "A half green, half yellow color; it is precisely halfway between green and yellow, so it is 50% green and 50% yellow. It was named because of it's resemblance to the green color of one of the French liqueurs called green chartreuse."

I'm ecstatic about how this is all coming together, how crazy and free we get to be with the colors and details. Makes it WAY more fun.

Not sure about shoes and jewelry just yet, but I know we'll have another collaboration session and come up with something incredible.

How does all this play into wedding decorations and centerpieces? I'm still sketching out all of those ideas, but I will tell you we have great direction and I'm already collecting things from thrift stores all over town :)

We have a girl's weekend planned in April and my dream is that it will be a time for us all to be together, laughing, hiking, cooking, resting and being.

And because so many are out of town, we have another girl's night scheduled for Thursday night before the wedding. Friday morning I scheduled a photo shoot with the incredible Cody Bess. I thought this would save on time Saturday before/after the wedding and would also give us more time to hang and do something fun.

Cody and I both share a deep admiration of Annie Leibovitz and have this vision for my photos with bridesmaids:
As for me? I'm not telling you anything about my dress just yet, but I will tell you for my Something Blue, I'll be wearing these :)

Clementine is my favorite jeweler and made these from Lapis Lazuli, used by Cleopatra for eyeshadow.

So that's all for now, I think? I'll post more fun stuff as we decide! Looking forward to brunching and thrifting with Kristen on Saturday, a very productive day that will be I'm sure :)

Our Wedding Website.

2010-02-16T12:36:00.003-06:00

www.dkandliz.com

*Sorry, there was a delay in going live due to the fact we couldn't agree on a font with or without seriff. Thankfully, we compromised and are now moving forward :)

The Proposal.

2010-02-16T12:26:00.003-06:00

Hey Peoples - for some reason the video screen is cutting off on this here blog, so for the full effect, CLICK HERE.

Cash Money.

2010-02-15T17:18:00.007-06:00

Wedding dresses, menus and music selection are really important elements of planning a wedding. But in terms of the big picture, not so much. I promise I'm not trying to impress you with how mature we are becoming, but more and more we're breaking wedding traditions/"have-to's" and making choices that bring peace and are just plain smart.

For instance, we started our Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University class last night and already I'm hungry for more. I'm the queen of justifying purchases and good intentions and I just need to make great changes. I need discipline. DK is really great with money - I know this will help stir conversation and cause us to take major action towards being on the same page.

Funny story: After about 10 minutes in the gift shop at Kennedy Space Center two weeks ago, I'd gathered 2 mugs, 1 mission patch and a really cool NASA magnet in my arms when I bumped into the soon-to-be head of our household.

I smiled SO cute.

But after one glance up and down he says "One mug Liz."

Pouty lip no worky.

I scan the shop and instinct tells me "Look up!" There, on the balcony overlooking the entire store stood my dad, engulfed in a brilliant heavenly glow, his arms outstretched... and though the angelic choir was deafening, I'm pretty sure dad mouthed the words "I'll BUY IT FOR YOU, LIZ!"

Well, I only purchased one mug and when I couldn't shut the cabinet door at home because of the bazillion other coffee mugs from travels I would surely die without, I smiled thinking "I'm marrying a very good man."

I'll keep you posted on the rest of our class adventures and give you my word I'll be honest about my misadventured piteous overthrows. Dramatic, I know.

To find your FPU class starting soon, CLICK HERE!

STS-130 - My Side of the Story.

2010-02-15T14:28:00.017-06:00

This was the second time I'd been to Florida to see a launch and both times the launch was scrubbed while I was there. Not that this is at all uncommon and is crucial for the safety of the crew and shuttle, I just can't help being a bit bummed in not getting to see it in person... yet.

DK, dad and I boarded a plane from Houston to Tampa with ease on Saturday morning before the launch. Orlando flights were booked solid and flying standby with dad helped with flexibility the closer we got to the launch date. As we walked the jetway off the plane, I felt the beautiful warm Florida air and turned on my phone to find texts from Brandon Heath, our friend NASA Todd and his wife, and Astronaut Shane Kimbrough all excited and hoping for a chance to meet up before heading out to Banana River for the launch. We loaded up in our Jeep and hit the road, stopping at Publix for the best subs EVER.

It took no time at all to find our way to KSC and we noted people already camping out along the causeway for a view of the shuttle, the last scheduled night launch of the shuttle history. The day was beautiful and there was an air of excitement and pride... we rolled into KSC and found our way through the VIP entrance into our checkpoint where we received final instructions. In this room was a live video feed of the shuttle and I stopped in my tracks, losing my breath. It's so hard for me to fathom the effort it takes from these brilliant men and women to make this thing launch and from there, explore space. It's awe-inspiring.

I must have appearred as though I were 5 years old as I bounced up to the lady behind the counter and exclaimed "Hi! My name is Liz! And, and, and today, I'm going to SPACE!" I'm fairly certain that's not what happened, but in my giddy heart and mind, I'm almost sure that's exactly how I came across. It's really a good thing we hadn't been to the gift shop at that point, this scene would have been far more embarrassing with a stuffed space shuttle in my arm and balloons tied to my backpack. We received our bus passes, packets with mission patches and a ton of crew/mission details and also our passes for KSC. We were set. It was about that point an astronaut tapped me on the shoulder and to my surprise there for the first time we got to meet Shane Kimbrough and his buddy Jimmy Dutton. We headed outside into the Rocket Garden to chat with Shane, who is also a KSBJ listener and he filled us in on his launch duties.

To describe it best, Shane is one of the last people on earth to have contact with the crew on the shuttle. He straps them in tight, makes sure everyone is good and ready to go. Shane's been on the other side of this before and knows right where they're at mentally, emotionally and physically. He also shared about having launched before, to now watch a family view their mom or dad launch is an entirely different and surreal experience. We picked his brain for several more minutes and because he was actually pretty busy this day (haha) he took off to get some sleep. We headed to the gift shop. You might not know this about me, but I LIVE for launch merch. (In this photo, you will notice my dad is telling Shane, the ASTRONAUT, how the shuttle bends with the earth on launch.)

From there we headed to the planatarium at a local college for a reception honoring Terry Virts, the pilot for STS-130. He obviously wasn't there but his wife and children were, his aunts, uncles, neighbors, NASA friends and family and more. It was incredible to watch what support this man has and when asked if she was nervous about the launch just hours away, his beautiful wife Stacy shook her head and beamed, "I'm EXCITED."

Since we had such a cool rental car, we tooled around town and ran out to the water but ran right back to the car as it was SO COLD outside. We were trying to stay awake and stay busy as we'd made no hotel plans. The launch was scheduled for 4:39 a.m. EST, we had to be on the bus leaving KSC for Banana River at 1:30 a.m. and our plane left later that morning around 10 a.m. so it was pointless to get a room.

We met up with Todd and Vonda Hellner (aka NASA Todd), our great friends from Houston around 8:30 at a place on the water called Milliken's Reef and ate some delicious fish, dessert and dranks gallons of coffee. Todd was working this launch from the Launch Control Center and had to be at work around midnight. After dinner, we shook hands with Todd in an attempt to be formal and mission-like then headed back to KSC Visitor Center where things were in full swing. We rode the launch simulator and then got in line for the bus to take us to Banana River. As we boarded, we were given "Launch Guest" pins and after placing it on my lapel, it would never leave my coat as long as I live.

We arrived to our viewing location and the wind was howling. It was surreal to walk out to the viewing area and see the huge countdown clocks and in the distance, the shuttle, brilliantly lit, almost glowing. I lost my breath again. We had about 2 hours to go. Inside we met up with Jenny Simmons(Addison Road), Brandon and Vonda.

Dad fell asleep and DK stayed glued to Twitter for the updates. With about 30 minutes to go we got our first negative update from Todd via text. From there it was back and forth, red green red green red green and all because of the cloud coverage. The concern was, in case of emergency landing the crew wouldn't be able to see the runway.

We booked it outside as the clock was on hold at 9 minutes and we prayed, bouncing up and down to stay warm and from pure excitement. We heard the choppers looming above and could hear those who were to make the decision talking back and forth when just. like. that. we heard them say "... and we're just not comfortable with this cloud coverage... something something... 24 hour scrub." My heart sunk. That was it. I had to come home.

Don't I sound selfish? I mean, there were 6 astronauts aboard the shuttle waiting to go to SPACE. I know they're trained and prepared for this, but how must they truly feel? Praise God for wise men and women who make smart decisions protecting and advising all the crews at work.
Considering what a beautiful and full day I'd had, I found I wasn't really all that dissapointed. Just being there, meeting these people and having this experience was truly incredible. Getting to be there with my dad, with DK, with our friends... wow.

I talked to Brandon the next day and he felt terrible for describing to me his experience as he was able to stay on and see this magnifient launch 24 hours later. As we're hanging up he says to me "You know Liz, there's another launch March 18th." Heehee.

STS-130 Launch.

2010-02-08T11:47:00.003-06:00

Full story to come.

Elements I'm Loving.

2010-02-05T16:48:00.003-06:00

DK and I still look at each other and shrug any time someone asks about wedding details. The truth is, we have our date set, a location, a dress and though we know there are heaps of other details to decide on, we're... kinda... not worried about it.

I know what I like when I see it and when Lindsey sent me these, well, let's just say Lizzy Likey.

Wedding Registry Fiasco.

2010-02-05T15:15:00.006-06:00

It was hilarious. We learned A LOT about one another. And we didn't get a single wedding gift registered. Here's the adventure story:

When preparing to register, one must block out several hours and not just get pumped mentally, but emotionally and physically as well. We'd checked out some websites together and had an overall idea of what we were going in for but upon arriving at Macy's in the Galleria, we couldn't even figure how to get in the darned building much less register for wedding gifts, setting us off to a ridiculous start.

Unbeknownst to us, there are TWO Macy's at the Galleria and are connected by tunnels, amazon trails and firery rope bridges. Because it was so cold outside, running from one door to the next was the smartest way to stay warm but I could barely breathe from laughing so hard as DK ran, punching the air above him with his fists while bopping his knees to his chest and singing. People were staring and I was doubled over in hysterics.

Because we weren't already acting silly enough, we stopped by Starbuck's for a caffeine fix. After surviving that line, we moved like cattle into another line that is quite simply the basic method of touring the biggest shopping center in Texas. The Galleria is really stressful to me. There are so many people to bump into, lots of cell phones ringing, cigarette smoking kiosks, noise bouncing off every surface, it's pretty exhausting. So after slaying dragons and flying like Tarzan through the jungle while sword fighting masked villians, DK landed us gently on Macy's territory. Safe.

I'm pretty sure every perfume lady and fine china expert looked us up and down thinking we weren't mature enough to own such pretty things. And the more we looked at these baubles and expensive junk, the more we began to find our place in it all. It's just not us. Once we found the registry lady, she was so genuinely kind and excited for us! However, their system was down that day and we were unable to get our gun. DK was sad. And I was scared because now we had to figure out where on earth we'd parked.

Next stop, Sur La Table!! We walked in, signed up, and within minutes DK held the scanner gun in his hands, the moment he'd been waiting for since he'd proposed! (Just kidding) He posed like Thor, his superhero weapon shining brilliantly amidst thrashing lightning bolts and heavenly choirs singing "Ahhhh!!" We zip zoomed all over the store, Le Creuset! Kitchenaid! Boos Blocks! We learned A LOT thanks to Jolene (I kept humming Dolly Parton when she came around) who was so thorough, smart and realistic. We decided against a wedding china and don't need new plates because I already have some we both really like. Actually, we've been finding we really don't need a lot of new things, 1. because we already have tools we love and 2. it's hard to long for a $400 pan when kids need water in Haiti. Jolene only ever suggested, never pressured us. We felt on top of things! But after 3 hours of shopping I got cranky, shifting my weight from left to right and whining "IIIII'm hunnnnngry." DK stood before a spread of cutting boards, carefully comparing and considering but was sweet to me, knowing my stamina had run out and that it was time to go.

DK inspects his work on the scanner/Thor weapon and suddenly looks at me confused, asking "Why do only 4 items show up on our list?" Immediately realizing not only what he'd just asked me, but also comprehending the retribution for such a mistake he says "Oh, I got it, don't worry, I just figured it out!" and RAN away from me down the aisle. But because this is the least most important part of our wedding experience and because we have so much fun together and because God has covered us both with grace and love, I fell over into hysterical laughter yelling "WHAT HAPPENED?!? HAHAHAHA!!" Again, making a scene in public. Jolene came over, joined in on the laughter, we all shrugged together and chalked it up to a great learning experience. We'll go back and do it right next time.

Fun, fun, fun :)

My Wedding Dress.

2010-01-29T17:19:00.007-06:00

I've supported and advocated the Giving Gown Foundation since I first heard what they're about a few years ago and have been all in, what else can I do ever since.

These women are AMAZING and from a simple dream have grown this organization that supports teenage girls, making them feel like the princesses they are by GIVING them a dress, shoes, accessories, make-up etc. for their prom night. And all this through donations from corporations, stores, and people like you.

To learn more, CLICK HERE.

I mentioned in a previous post how awkward trying on dresses would feel without an official proposal but for JoAnn, my good friend and founder of Giving Gown, she'd been keeping her eyes peeled and ears tuned to the type of wedding dress I'd be looking for probably from the first time she met DK in person. In addition to the beautiful formal gowns donated to GG, recently there was also a load of wedding gowns sent from the Watters store in Dallas. So, when going our seperate ways once JoAnn finished running the half marathon in Houston a couple Sundays ago, she says "Oh Liz! I have 11 dresses in my trunk, do you want to see if you like any of them?!" Unbelievable!

Finally, after a few days of driving around with this mound of white fluff in my backseat, I brought them inside and had some Liz time. I turned on music and for about 20 minutes, tried on gown after gown. They were beautiful! It was amazing! And I found two that really stopped me in my tracks - the reflection in the mirror, a beautiful BRIDE, no way it was really me?

I'd made an appointment to go to Brickhouse Bridal the following Saturday and was thrilled for the experience of trying on dresses with Domenica and Ma Olden there to ohhh and ahhh. It was everything I'd imagined and I felt like this beautiful bride standing in the spotlight in front of the tri-fold mirrors. I also pretended too I was on an episode of Say Yes To The Dress. I was an easy customer though :) Lindsey, my Brickhouse girl was incredible and made the experience all the more wonderful. In the end, I definitely had my heart set on a particular dress.

But I kept going back to my GG dress... I kept considering our budget... and I kept thinking of the story about the guy who turned away the car, the boat, and the helicopter as the floods were rising... that God sent this dress for me as a way to bless DK and me, that I'd be crazy not to receive it graciously and then later to strut my stuff down that aisle towards the most incredible man on earth. As his beautiful bride.

Considering those things PLUS the fact it's a beautiful, well made dream gown, (!!!) I'm floored and so grateful! And at the same time, I'm also realizing how the things I knew I'd be a bridezilla about (dress, flowers, ceremony music) are becoming less and less important to me. I can really feel people praying for us because the peace settling over us is overwhelming! I'm worried less about how I look, less about the trivial details, and more and more am getting excited about what this one, most beautiful day truly is, just PART of the overall adventure of marriage.

As I write this, Danielle the beautiful seamstress has my dress and is considering how to put pockets in it.

And that is my dress story :)

My Brothers.

2010-01-28T18:26:00.001-06:00

Cheeseburger Bride.

2010-01-28T14:56:00.003-06:00

.LOVE.IT.

Found on Flickr.

Wedding Planning Milestones.

2010-01-28T13:28:00.007-06:00

I've started at least 30 different blog posts in the last week but for a few reasons have been unable to finish them. I think I understand now and I'll list them for you in order of importance:

1. My heart is really heavy for Haiti and talking about wedding colors or frilly things just makes my stomach turn over and feels so not important.

2. I hadn't officially asked/notifed my bridesmaids they were going to stand with us in our wedding. Talking about fun wedding details without them officially onboard would almost feel as odd as trying on a wedding dress without an engagement ring or proposal.

3. Lindsey sent me this broad's blog and since becoming quite literally addicted to her writing style, I feel extremely blog inferior. Blog envy at it's worst.

4. A lot of our wedding details we want to share open and publicly, however there are some things we have to keep private and we've been praying, also working out those logistics as well.

But here I am now!! So much has already been set into place and I'm excited to share the fun details with you. Also, we are considering the option of a wedding website so I'll keep you posted on the when and where of that exciting stuff.

Biggest milestone of all was obviously, getting engaged.

2. We set a date. We were able to do so because we secured a church in which to be wed and are currently working out details in which all KSBJ listeners can be part of the ceremony. Stay tuned. (I used "in which" twice in that sentence. I'm like so totally proper and stuff.)

3. We set a budget and made a schedule of events.

4. Rehearsal dinner location secured. Absolutely the COOLEST place, a place we've had in mind for well over a year.

5. Brunch with family the day after wedding: location secured / menu pending.

6. I asked for help. Apparently, asking a person you trust who knows you well and isn't afraid of diplomatically ordering people around is a necessity during a wedding. So I asked Lindsey to help me out and has already proven to be one of the smartest decisions I've made.

7. We chose a wedding color! We love blue! When asked "What shade of blue?", we answer "Mmm, whatever!" Haha.
8. I have a dress! I will blog about that experience in a post of it's own though.

9. Reception location(s) is set. Another blog dedicated to the importance of ambience, coming right up.

10. Bride and groom transportation secured. This will blow your mind but is a surprise, even for DK.

11. Girl's weekend for bridesmaids and friends date set, location pending! Menu: CHEESEBURGERS AND CHIPS!

More details to come!!

Party of 14 (ish).

2010-01-27T20:23:00.003-06:00

So tonight DK and I asked people to be in our wedding. In a most unconventional way. OH! And we have our own Youtube channel together now :)

The Wedding Party.

Marriage Prep.

2010-01-21T13:05:00.005-06:00

He's been married for a couple years now and seems to know a thing or two about marriage. My brother David sent this article to me, thought it would be helpful in prepping to be the best wife in the whole wide world. (Click the article to enlarge)

We Set A Date.

2010-01-21T12:32:00.005-06:00

It's incredible how vastly different things feel, look, seem, and are once you set your wedding date as an engaged couple. I've felt like a wild banchi woman (I don't even know what that is, just imagine something crazy?) and all over the place emotionally, physically, and in terms of planning I just couldn't get anything rolling. My friend Brittany told me once we set the date, it would feel more settled and secure, that making plans would then be more focused with direction, not to mention feeling true excitement! And while it feels good and cool and yippee and skippee right now, I've got to be careful not to lose site of the most important part of all.

Talking to my friend Lindsey yesterday, she reminded me(in a way that really spoke to me) how above all else, losing myself in all the details of the wedding ceremony/reception/etc. happens so easily and I've really got to watch it. I told her too how I'd realized in the last few days, while I'd been so consumed and lost in setting the date, accomodating everyone and feeling the pressure to make this occassion out of this world I'd not taken ANY time to read the Word in quiet time. Hence the wild banchi woman state?

Either way, in the next 100 days until the wedding and in the days beyond, I want to continue striving to be a great woman in my relationships, in my marriage, with my family, with my career and one day with my children. As much as I seem to try, I can't accomplish this on my own. I started bootcamp again on Monday(thanks to Brandi) because it helps keep my head clear and my heart healthy. It's early enough in the morning that I have no excuse not to sit down for a quiet time afterwards and really dive into the Word. Been reading from Luke lately, what an amazing book.

Ok so, we set the date right? It's been tough!! I thought it would be easy as pie once we got engaged, but there are so many things to consider that had me stressed and in tears a lot... but when it came down to it, this was the date that came to mind in the beginning and in our hearts just never left.

So, DK & I will be married on Saturday, May 1, 2010 at noon!!

We are thrilled and so happy to finally put all these beautiful details into action!! I will keep you posted for sure :) Love, love, love.

Wedding Stuff.

2010-01-19T12:02:00.012-06:00

I really thought this would be a lot more fun than it is currently and somehow felt once we were engaged, it'd be non-stop wedding planning fun. Now that I'm in the bridal mental zone, I realize this is NOT the case. The fun doesn't truly start till you at least set your date!!

What's the hold up? We have big ideas that need lots of approval. We are waiting on the church and have a meeting tomorrow morning for the final word (please pray!) Once we get an okay for the church, then we set the date and start booking the rest of the goods. We have the budget set as of last night, I'm pretty sure I have my dress, caterer, flowers, potential 'outside the box' reception location and we know the color and theme as well. I've definitely chucked a bridal magazine across the room and had a couple sob sessions at this point but the greatest accomplishment of all so far is that DK and I are ultimately having fun together. Every idea he has, every decision he makes, and each time he counters one of my "What if's" and "If only's" with wisdom from super happy wedding planning land, I fall more deeply in-love with him.

I've learned a few things so far about his love languages, his listening capability and communication skills during wedding planning. After the first few weeks of being engaged, I came to terms with the fact I don't think of anything BUT wedding and if anything else happens to come through my brain, it's associated with and influenced by (potentially inspiring further thought and ideas as well) whatever aspect of the wedding I'm currently planning in my head. It's kinda like the HOV lane of my brain. There's a constant flow of wedding planning midstream, while other traffic is flowing north and southbound, glancing longingly towards the lane where dresses, flowers, and table decor flow solely and freely. I explained this lovingly to DK and he nodded and smiled, he's so accepting of me. I've learned that simplicity rules when asking his opinion and when something needs to be done on his end I type an email with 'the thing to do' as the email subject, direct and with few words as possible. Wham, bam, gotcha done!

What I've also grown to love so much about him too is how he's so dang creative and encourging. I obviously already knew that about him, but in this phase of our relationship, I'm realizing this in a whole new aspect. He prays with me at the drop of a hat and listens with a discerning ear. It's apparent to me through his hard word and dilligence he's so focused beyond the wedding to our MARRIAGE. That's a good man to keep you in balance and looking forward to what is most important, I'll tell you what.

I have tons of details I can't wait to share with you but I'm going to hold off till we get the date set and things set in stone. I'm excited to fill you in on everything and spill the beans... hopefully by the end of this week?

Oh and for those of you who are 1. getting married soon too or 2. just love perusing wedding everything anyway, check out these photos and sites I'm obsessed with! (Thanks Brandi!)

If I could have this exact set up, I would.

Once Wed.

Utterly Engaged.

Bash Eco-Events.

Married Life.

2010-01-19T11:57:00.002-06:00

his and hers.

2010-01-06T15:29:00.001-06:00

When we live together after the wedding, DK and I decided there are just some things we cannot share.

Proposal Audio.

2010-01-05T14:54:00.002-06:00

In case you missed it, I have the live audio posted on my Afternoon Show blog.

To listen, just click here!

pittsburgh things to do.

2010-01-05T13:45:00.006-06:00

I bought a book of lists to help ensure I have many things covered I wouldn't otherwise know to check on or count as important. As with any new task, the initial intimidation and overwhelming unknown seems to wear off the more familar I become with all these new terms, phrases and mindset so I feel pretty confident in getting to Pittsburgh to plow through these lists but really start making it happen. WE'RE PLANNING A WEDDING, booyah!!

We held off setting a date until the excitement of Christmas had passed because we didn't want to overexert ourselves. Then DK's parents called with an incredible plane ticket rate and we decided to escape to the countryside and really delve into the planning fun. We will leave Friday morning through the following Wednesday. I have several ideas set on the where/what/who/when/how 's but now need to align dates with deposits and holy smokes, we're planning our wedding... !!

We're so looking to the fresh air and time with DK's family... I'm packing my new Wedding Binder, all my magazines and am excited to have some planning sessions with DK, my MIL, Emily, Aunt Patty and whoever else wants to help out.

Here's what I'm hoping to accomplish during our vacation:
1. Set a date
2. Detail budget
3. Confirm ceremony location
4. Guest list
5. Confirm attendants
6. Narrow down list of reception sites
7. Confirm honeymoon (request work pto!)
8. Reserve rehearsal dinner locale
9. Work on Save The Date cards
10. Watch at least one mushy wedding movie!!

And this is me after a day of planning.

move over martha!

2010-01-05T12:31:00.002-06:00

Here is my latest wedding planning inspiration, thank you Sarah!

Click here to read more!

Happy Birthday Mama Kilgore!

2009-12-30T13:08:00.002-06:00

Today is my soon to be mother-in-law's birthday!! Last year we actually got to be with her on her big day and had the most fun surprise party planned. She had no idea!! I love her very much and am so excited for all the great times to come, all of us together!! Love you!!

New Year's Eve Kiss!

2009-12-30T12:53:00.003-06:00

This is us last year at my friend Brandi's New Year's Eve party last year... my first real New Year's Eve kiss!

This year my family is going to camp out at the Olden's. The have tons of property and also have a NYE tradition of jumping in the freezing cold pool at midnight! Then on January 1st, we're going for a long hike together with the dogs - a great way to start 2010!!

T-minus 3 Days.

2009-12-30T12:18:00.001-06:00

This photo was taken in my house at my 29th birthday party... the last birthday I'll ever be a non-married woman. Little did I know DK would propose 3 days later. And everyone at the party KNEW but ME.

The Day We Met.

2009-12-28T16:58:00.005-06:00

This was the day we met.

To read the story behind these photos, CLICK HERE.

Our Story.

2009-12-23T12:44:00.008-06:00

"Don't run from tests and hardships, brothers and sisters. As difficult as they are, you will ultimately find joy in them; if you embrace them, your faith will blossom under pressure and teach you true patience as you endure. And true patience brought on by endurance will equip you to complete the long journey and cross the finish line - mature, complete and wanting nothing. If you don't have all the wisdom needed for this journey, then all you have to do is ask God for it, and God, who is never stingy when it comes to wisdom, will grant all that you need. He gives lavishly and never scolds you for asking." (The Voice translation)

It's the verse I hate to love. It's the verse that always pops up somewhere when I most need to be reminded the tough stuff is good for me, that in hard times I have a choice to allow God to grow and shape me or... just whine and be defeated. And it's through this verse I'm rock solid confident DK is the man God intended for me to marry. Below you will read the full story of DK & Liz :) DK and I met for the first time in early 2007 when he was hired to take professional staff photos for KSBJ's new website. The first time I met him I was in front of a camera, feeling a bit awkward and goofy and he was quiet and mysterious behind the scenes. (Little did I know one day he'd grow to love me for that goofiness and ask me to marry him, haha.)

It was later at a mutual friend's going away party at my house when DK and I met again. There were characteristics that struck me about him: his strong, quiet presence, his obvious creative abilities that to this day surprise and amaze me. He tells the story of how I used my ladder as a tripod that night for a group photo and how impressed he was with my rigging. And after all the party goers were gone, it was in my kitchen my dear friend Kristen told another friend "Do you see how DK is looking at Liz? They are so going to get together..." I never really saw him much after that August evening but it wouldn't be long till things kicked into full gear.

A few months later I was gathering some video footage for my worship leader friends Matthew + Lizi from a time they served at Second Baptist Church. I was put in touch with Kristopher Rutherford at Second but in the process because I wasn't able to open the video files he sent me, he had me get in touch with a guy named DK who would surely get me what I needed. "Shut up, no way, I know that guy!" I said and then invited them both to my big birthday/Christmas party a few days away.

The night of my party, DK showed up early and stayed late. He wore this beautiful tan blazer (which later awarded him the name "Blazer Guy" for all our stories) and looked so handsome. However, I was absolutely not interested and was more intimidated by his presence. I knew for sure he thought I was a chatterbox and was definitely annoyed at all my dumb questions about his work. He took a ton of photos that night and even met my brothers and talked to my dad for quite awhile.

During Christmas 2007, he emailed from his parents house outside Pittsburgh. We still have all the emails and looking back, it's fun to transition to that clueless frame of mind... I had NO clue though I'm convinced he knew even then that this was it.

After the first of the year, I had a brilliant idea for an EPK for Matthew + Lizi but I needed someone to shoot and help me edit it. I worked out all the details and because M+L were leading worship at Ecclesia one Sunday night I thought it the perfect setting. One call to DK and he was in, no hesitation. He showed up with gear, cameras, lights and mics - above and beyond what I'd expected. I had no idea how to thank this guy, I was so floored. This was just the first glance into the depths of his generosity and graciousness...

We had a blast and learned so much about one another shooting this project. We got what we needed that night (and have photos of us working together, so cool) and the next step was to edit. DK had an edit suite in his place and invited me over after my show to start working right away. Before I left work that night he calls and says we need to eat at some point, to check out La Vista online and let him know what I wanted for dinner. Whoa. I felt so fancy and cared for...

From there we edited our hearts out several nights a week, it became what I looked forward to most in my day. And we worked so well together, my vision so met by his technical ability and right away it was apparent we were very balanced together. I can't explain what it was like visiting his place and seeing how set in life he was. This man made investments, he didn't have old college furniture like most guys I knew, but had taste and class and cared about quality and ambience. I noticed too how he replaced the apartment's standard lighting with ones he preferred - bingo, he was handy around the house! I felt safe and adored and heard and not one bit pressured.

DK is meticulous, puts his all into everything he does, is a perfectionist and is one of the hardest working men I've ever known. I also noticed right away his dilligence, how he treated people in restaurants, at the grocery, or on the phone. I loved how he was always on time and never seemed to stress or rush. I loved that most because I'm always rushing and appreciated the slower pace he brought to my life. (I'm writing all this in past tense but should relay it to present day as well, as these things are so consistent with who he is.)

We continued to work on the project for the next few weeks and in that time I got to know his buddy Adam, along with other friends. I learned all about his family as he did mine... spending so many hours together waiting for clips to render we had a lot of great talks and laughs. I was so resistant though, my friends calling me ignorant of the fact something really was budding between us, but I just wasn't ready. I was adamant about not rushing things and making sure this was someone I really wanted to be with for a long time.

DK's birthday was approaching (2/2/2008) and Adam called me asking if I'd help plan his party. I hesitated ONLY because it made me nervous to think I was now the girl in DK's life to help plan his bday party but then agreed. Everyone came and we had an awesome dinner at Cyclone Anayas! This was the first time I met his friends Taylor, Mills McCoin, Ryan, and a few others. I took pictures of everything, haha. My gift to DK was a canoe trip with friends down the Buffalo Bayou. And let me tell you, that was a canoe trip to go down in history as we had non-stop adventure traversing fallen trees, hiking through mud up to our knees and laughing till our stomachs hurt. At one point, I was stuck in the mud and DK tromped over, hugged me and pulled me out of the mud. I was like whoa. Sparks definitely flew in that moment. He told me later on what this gift meant to him, that I was interested in doing things with his friends and being outdoors, something no one had done for him before.

Valentine's Day suddenly appeared and my roommate invited DK and me to go out with her and her boyfriend later on. I felt nervous about it, but thought surely DK knew my intentions and wouldn't push anything, it's not his style. But I soon saw more of what was his style, wink wink. He showed up late and I found out later it was because he was writing a Valentine to me and couldn't decide on the wording. In it, he let me know "if anything, I am very patient and will wait as long as you need." Goosebumps.

It wasn't until a month later on March 9th we were at his apartment and out of nowhere DK just KISSED me. I guess he couldn't contain it anymore (!!!) but that was it for me, I let my guard down and acknowledged how greatly I cared for him and wanted to never not be around him. And not just as friends, but also as lovers :)

All of 2008 was wonderful. He spoke all my love languages, providing lots of adventure, spending time with my dad and brothers, creative endeavors together and wow, the dude is HILARIOUS. His sense of humor is out of this word and he makes me laugh so hard it hurts - out of nowhere! Then in April, I went to New York for vacation with girlfriends and DK was actually there the same weekend visiting friends. It was there on the windy streets of New York City he told me he loved me for the first time. What a magical moment!!

We had the best 4th of July ever with David and Kim - they are our favorite couple on earth to spend time with, lots of adventure. My boyfriend even hired Andrew to take his crew on his sailboat for a shoot out in Austin, how giddy was I that my boys were having quality time together? His mom and dad came to Houston to meet me and it was the sweetest time... then for Christmas we flew to his hometown for a few days. It was truly one of the most special Christmas' I've ever had. His parents spoiled me and I got to share Christmas morning with just them. DK and I took long walks on the trails, hills and woods he grew up in and I got to see where he went to high school and so much more. We also spent some great time with his brother Michael and his girlfriend Emily whom I love so much. Little did DK know, when we said goodbye to his brother that Christmas, we'd already been planning for them to come in February for his 30th birthday!

I ran my first (and last) marathon on January 18th and DK was there along the route every several miles. Domenica has a photo she snapped of him watching me cross the finish line, completely emotional and in tears. Oh my sweet man... That February was amazing... his birthday weekend spent with Michael and Emily PLUS a massive surprise party I'd planned with great help from Domenica and Kristen. It was out of this world and I loved seeing the look on his face when he saw how loved he is. Priceless.

March 9th, our one year anniversary. DK did it just right. A quiet evening at his place, dinner from Clive's cookbook and the most amazing display of flowers I've ever seen in my life. One year and going strong!! We'd talked about marriage a lot at that point and were both pretty settled, we saw eye to eye on giving it a year before moving in that direction. However, I had my hopes set high and was expecting it to be sooner than later.

I think at that point, things came to surface within both of us revealing clear signs we were not ready to get married just yet. It was really, terribly rough. In my heart I started setting ultimatums, feeling resentment and being uneccessarily impatient. It really put a stress on him and us and we entered some uncharted territory. It became so hard to communicate in the simplest way, the clutter and chaos in our hearts and minds got so much louder than just easy everyday hi, how are you's. We'd put band-aids on for temporary fixes and pray about things but were never really able to figure out what was really going on. But we never said a word to any of our closest friends about it.

One night we had a really awful argument. The next day I got a text from DK saying he'd reached out to a trusted friend and that we were going to seek some counseling. I began to share with my girls what was going on and it was a great relief. In retrospect I see God was bringing things to the surface for us to work out before walking down the aisle but that Satan turned it into chaos and confusion so bad we couldn't see straight. But even after going to counseling a couple times, we actually broke up for a couple weeks. It was not easy at all but honestly never felt official. At some point I found out that DK had planned to propose last May but because of what we were going through, decided to wait. I found this out and was crushed but more angry because I couldn't see the truth through all my motives and plans. God knew better and because DK was seeking God's will, he knew better too.

And then out of nowhere, our good friend Mark, not knowing what we were going through called us both, said he felt God leading him to meet with us to encourage us. We met the next morning with him, he spoke some awesome truths and ultimately told us not to give up. I told him we were broken up and he didn't even flinch. "That's fine" he said "I think God is doing something great here, you guys just gotta get it together so He can do His work."

Counseling was awesome for us both. Having a mediator to hear us both and point out things we weren't aware of otherwise was so refreshing. It was through our friends and family believing in us, encouraging and praying for us that brought us to where we are today. It was painful and a total wrestling match but going through it and allowing God to shine light on areas of our lives we needed more of Him only made us stronger for the future.

"As difficult as they (tests and hardships) are, you will ultimately find joy in them; if you embrace them, your faith will blossom under pressure and teach you true patience as you endure."

I share these things with you only because I want you to be encouraged. When you feel God is so far away and has forgotten you, remember He knows the greatest desires of your heart. He's building you, growing you, shaping and molding you for something even greater than you are planning. Hard to see in the midst of the junk, huh? Don't lose faith.

I never thought I would say this, but I'm grateful we waited and didn't get engaged last May. We have a more rich history, a stronger foundation, and more tools helping us get through any rough times to come. We're ready. I'm excited. I'm grateful. I love how we have such history and rich memories with one another's family, co-workers and friends... if our engagement was so well supported and timed, imagine how how heartfelt and emotional this wedding celebration will be now because we took the time to get it right, it blows my mind.

Don't lose sight of the dream you have, don't give up on what God is working right now. My friend Kristen told me once that in God's mind "IT'S ALREADY DONE". And I believe that for you too: jobs, health, family, marriage, kids, dreams. Believe it.

the bling.

2009-12-22T21:53:00.002-06:00

From Michael & Emily.

2009-12-22T16:54:00.004-06:00

DK and I received an email this morning from his brother Michael and his girlfriend, Emily. They are incredibly special to us and though we live so far apart, (they live in Pittsburgh) we've all become really close in the last year. I love them both tons and was not surprised they'd do something so thoughtful and creative so soon.

Along with this action shot of them listening to DK propose in Houston, they wrote the following message... "Liz and Donald,
I would like to congratulate you two on your engagement. I was so excited all last week knowing that this was coming!!! Emily and I heard the whole thing online. We even documented on our end of listening to this Very Special Event. Donald, I just wanted to tell you that you did an amazing job on the proposal!!!! A+++ Such a great idea and I can’t wait to see the video of this. I hope you guys had an amazing night afterwards as I know you two will have a wonderful future together. Well I will let you guys go for now. I’m sure you have a ton of stuff to do today.

Again, Congratulations on your engagement as I know you two will have a wonderful and exciting life together.

Michael & Emily"

DK asked me to marry him :)

2009-12-22T13:00:00.007-06:00

It was everything I'd ever dreamed of, yet I'd never been able to plan it as beautifully as it unfolded. And isn't that just like God, loving us beyond comprehension, working His will for our lives so far above anything we could ever scheme or dream up? Lord knows I've imagined every scenario for how this would go down... but He also knows what is best for DK and me... so in His timing every element was so perfectly timed, placed, blessed and settled.

He did it. DK asked me to marry him.

There are so many details to cover and laugh over, I've slapped my forehead about a bazillion times in the last 20 hours thinking through his plans, trying to put all the puzzle pieces together. Since last night, I've learned so much more about this man I love, about his love for me, for God, for our familes and for my heart behind what I do everyday on-air... and he pulled all these pieces together making it part of the most beautiful moment of our lives. He knows me well and loves me more than I think I'll fully grasp. I'm still spinning right now.

I truly had NO clue. Domenica told me about a month ago to stop asking about it, that it was coming but not till after the first of the year. I was settled with that, I trusted he had a plan and though it was REALLY hard, I had to let it go. So before I go on, I want you to know I plan on sharing a lot more of the inside details of how I've seen God so fluidly working amidst this entire experience of our relationship, but for now I'll just post the proposal details. And following that blog post, I'll surely be talking planning details!!!

It's been the most incredible time of year, having both my brothers home after so much time apart. Kim my sister-in-law is one of my very best friends and I realize a huge part of my heart left when David and she moved away to Malaysia, so having them home feels settled and right. We've had many great talks over meals and I'm soaking up every moment. David and Andrew crack me up and to watch them together makes my heart soar - they've changed so much and are incredible men. Arwyn is Andrew's girlfriend and is an absolute doll, I love having her part of this family. Spending time with Kim's family as well is always a highlight, Ma and Pa Olden serve as an incredible example for how DK and I want to live our lives in marriage and we enjoy every second of time with them. Kim's brothers Mark and Erik are awesome and I consider them my brothers as well :) Fortunately my dad's wife Mary has been around for many occasions this Christmas season and having everyone present makes everything complete. I miss DK's family a whole lot and deciding to not go to Pittsburgh for Christmas was a really tough decision. But now I understand it much better ;-)

It was just a normal Monday and I saw DK before I left for work. He was calm, normal and not suspicious at all. We talked about our day and what we had going on, he told me later that as he left he looked at me one last time trying to comprehend what was going to happen between us in just a few short hours. OMG, I got engaged last night!!!! Sorry it just hit me again. I had a great day at work, nothing out of the ordinary, although now looking back I had some funny run-ins with Susan and Barbara who both knew but at the time because I was completely clueless, I wasn't suspicious of anything! At 2:50 p.m. I walked over to the studio and yep, it was just another great day here at the Mighty Fine 89!

After our first traffic/weather break, Jon my boss came into the studio to check some mic settings for Bill's traffic mic because it was way off. We had to move Bill around and get him settled at another mic, I'm still not suspicious. I got a sweet text from DK who said he was excited for our plans later that night, hanging with the Sepulveda's. I was working on some Christmas gifts online, doing my show and minding my own business.

Time was flying and around 5:12 I had to use the little d.j.'s room so I left the studio and ran into Christina and Catherine Tarrant (wife and daughter of my co-worker, our Production Director Sterling) in the hallway. They come by the studio occasionally to say hello and as I was talking to them, Jon races by me back into the studio. Worried about what might be happening in the studio, I followed after him. All was cool, he was "checking some things on Bill's mic" again. Several minutes later, I left the studio to pick up something on the printer and noticed it was so odd Christina didn't even say goodbye as Sterling's studio door was shut, they were totally gone. Oh well. Little did I know who and what was hiding behind that door!

Back in the studio, I read on-air a Christmas poem written by a Marine and afterwards prepared to do my next traffic and weather break. At 5:28 Sterling comes into the studio saying Jon and he were going back and forth about a new promo and needed my opinion on how it sounded - this happens regularily, Sterling checking things on my live screen, I wasn't phased by it one bit - the promo was inbetween my traffic and weather. Bill and I went live, reported traffic and with Sterling by my side rolled into this "new promo". I heard my name it in, thought it was a new promo introducing new listeners to KSBJ and "Hey, Liz is on in the afternoons" kinda deal but then suddenly the announcer's voice in the promo is TALKING TO ME and says for me to turn on my mic. "Turn it on Liz!" she kept saying and at that moment Jon walked into the studio smiling. Right then the announcer's voice introduces to all of Houston, "DK, also known as Liz's boyfriend."

DK burst through the studio door and looked more handsome than I'd ever seen him; he was headed toward me with serious intent. He had a mic in hand, came around the console to my side of the board and behind him filtered in my brothers, my dad, Ma Olden, Kim my sister, Arwyn, Kristen one of my best friends, Brittany and Scott, (co-worker and close friends) Cody, Christina and Catherine. The mic in his right hand was LIVE, in his left hand he had the most stunning diamond you've ever seen. Live to all the world, DK professed to me his love and tells me the last two years have been an amazing adventure, the best of his life, that he couldn't imagine living the rest of his life without me and WOULD I PLEASE MARRY HIM?

His face, I will never forget...Never ever ever will I forget. Trembling, crying and stunned, I turned to Sterling and asked "Can I take my headphones off now?" Haha! He said yes and I leaned into DK and responded with such confidence "Yes, yes yes yes yes..."

He put the ring on my finger, everyone cheered and I fell into his arms, breathing him in. I'll never forget how he smelled in that moment. He was incredible, he is incredible, my fiance. I love him truly, I love the man he is. I love the thought and creative effort he used to pull these most important representations of who I am, who he wants us to be together and placed them all perfectly within this experience. It's evident this man walks with God and has sought His face on every detail. I'm honored to be the one for him, I'm freaking out and yet so completely at peace.
After one more Christmas song, Jon tells me there's something else for us. Sterling, Bob Boyd and DK all worked to gather soundbites from my favorite artists and people I've grown close with in past years. Matt from Sanctus, Bethany Dillon, Phil Wickham and Amy Grant were just a few sending their love and congrats to both DK and me. I was floored. Cody shot video of it all.

I got calls from Michael and Emily in Pittsburgh (DK's brother and his woman), DK's parents called welcoming me to the family and excited to finally have a daughter, Domenica called in from California SOBBING and gushing haha, Barbara called bawling, it was so sweet!! I also talked to a few listeners (the phones were going crazy!!) and many many more!!

Sweet Jen Driskill came in to finish the last hour of my show and eventually somehow our crew made way out of the studio. Non-stop outloud coverage of who knew what and when, where I was and how they were almost discovered... apparently on my way to use the restroom earlier, everyone was making their way down the hall towards the studio and Sterling had to run, warn and send them hiding in a flurry.

DK, Jon and Sterling have been planning this for a few weeks. All of the KSBJ staff knew about it too, but only in the last week. Jon told me today only one staff member didn't know about it. And that was ME.

My family and I went to dinner afterwards where Kristen led everyone to share when they first realized DK was for me... how sweet to hear all these memories and regards to this man I love so much. Kristen gets the credit for calling it (us as a couple) long before DK and I were really officially friends. I can't believe it really happened this way. I'm excited for you to see the video and am ashamed my writing in this blog is so lame, I'm just kinda overwhelmed right now with details, surrealism, and complete awe. I'll get back into the swing of blogging absolutely :)

Finally, it's important to me that you know how blessed I am to have YOU in my life. Whether we've met in person or not, we've shared so much life together - good and bad - and you are a huge part of my life. I am grateful for a chance to share this most incredible moment of my life thus far with you, THANK YOU. Love to you...

guess who.

2009-11-27T15:24:00.005-06:00

It's always been a dream of mine to be the front girl for an all guy band. So here I am. And here is our first promo photo. Thoughts? Still guessing? Click here to find out who they are.

Kenai's 7th Birthday.

2009-11-25T16:00:00.002-06:00

I can't believe it, the years just fly by. Here is how healthy and sweet my girl looks on her 7th birthday...

this is my brandi.

2009-11-18T17:32:00.003-06:00

Isn't she amazing?!

capucine!

2009-11-16T23:16:00.001-06:00

Too much candy from Capucha on Vimeo.

highlights from the last week.

2009-11-13T16:49:00.003-06:00

* Breakfast with Andrew, dad, Arwyn and DK at The Breakfast Klub!

* Photoshoot of friends and randoms wearing Stop The Nakedness t-shirts. I have some seriously photogenic and giving friends.

* New mascara - a classic from Lancome - Definicils. My lashes go WHOOSH!!

* The process and completion of buying my car. Ron's Downtown Automotive.

* Riding in my car to work, listening to Natasha Bedingfield's Unwritten.

* Orson waking me up at 7 a.m. on the dot with his slobbery kisses.

* Receiving my Switchfoot schedule by email. I'm spending all day next Thursday with them - learn more here. I'm like "FOR REAL?!"

* Watching the Annie Leibowitz documentary with DK and getting inspired.

* DK made pasta.

* Early morning excercise/gab session with Domenica and Orson along the Bayou.

* Wearing my Halloween costume glasses to church and psyching everyone out. I owned it!!

* Drew from Switchfoot on my show on their album release day!! Hello Hurricane!!

* Painting the bathroom with DK. I loooooove collaborating with him.

* Daily blueberry/kefir/flaxseed/honey shakes for breakfast!

* Hmmm, what else?

football.

2009-11-13T15:45:00.004-06:00

I like the sound of it. It sounds like and helps everything feel more like fall. The whistles, the crowd, the crashing of big guys and the commentators, ya know. However, I know nothing about the game and rarely watch it.

Last week after work, I came to visit DK but he was still wrapped up in some work so I decided to watch TV. Nothing was on so I decided to watch a football game. I have no idea how much time went by but apparently I was really getting into the game. Kenai was sitting next to me on the couch and eventually left me as I'm sure she was weirded out by me yelling "Come on!! Get that guy!!" and "Run faster, run harder you BOZO!!"

It was then in my peripheral vision, I saw DK standing there, arms crossed looking extremely amused. "What on earth are you doing?!" He was cracking up at me.

I immediately became aware of the situation and how random it was I was not only watching the game but also how engrossed in it I'd become. "I'm watching football" I told him sheepishly, "I was just watching the game."

Hahahaha!!

Then last night as we were leaving for my new car celebration dinner, I told DK I hoped we'd be back in time to see the 49er's game. I was totally kidding but he asked "Who's that?" I explained to him they are the football team in San Francisco. He looked at me, the cutest smile on his face and asked "Are they a Major League team?"

my car story.

2009-11-13T13:40:00.006-06:00

I don't even really know where to begin! Fraulein Maria would tell me to start at the beginning, cause it's a very good place to start. So here we go.

So I bought this white Volvo S40 2 years ago and last August I paid it off. If I'm totally honest, I wasn't completely attatched to it and even at one point thought about selling it to get a old beater Volvo wagon. The wagon is what I really have wanted for so long to tow the dogs around and for camping, etc. But I guess God had a better idea. I take that back, I'm not guessing anymore, I KNOW.

2 weeks ago, I drove DK's truck to work and like a sweet boyfriend, he filled up the gas tank in my car. But after driving 10 miles, the car started smoking so he parked it till my dad, who typically works on my cars could come check it out. Andrew was in town, graciously checked things out with DK and together they determined it was safe to drive. The next day I drove it to work and back but as I exited for DK's place, the engine started making noises I've only heard in nightmares and the smoke from the engine had me coughing and gagging. Then it died.

Dad and a mechanic determined it was bad gas. What on earth?!

DK was amazing, told me all would be ok and I could use his car for as long as I needed. He even grew to love taking the bus in the meantime. The next day at work on yelp.com the BEST USER REVIEW site in the world. I've been using it for over a year now and the reviews for restaurants, music venues, and so much more are very dependable. I decided to check out auto care... and Ron's Downtown Automotive came to the top of the list with terrific reviews. I called him up and Ron himself answered, had me cracking up from the get go. He tells me get the car towed over here, this is the tow company I use, I'll look at it right away and call you back.

The next morning calls to tell me it's not bad gas, it was a hose that blew and after driving the car too long, I blew a head on the engine and it's absolutely 100% not good anymore. "You need a new engine" Ron tells me and I ask "What does that cost?" and he says "3-5 grand" and I crumbled. He immediately follows with "But I'll buy it from ya and ya should probably just get a new car." The amount he offered on my car made me cringe, especially since I'd just paid it off. I wanted to crawl in a hole... or snap my fingers and be done with it. I was so stressed and overwhelmed.

SO, the NEXT morning DK and I drove early early to the U-haul in downtown to pick up a trailer. The plan was to pick up my car and drive it to The Woodlands to at least park it in dad's driveway till I could figure out what to do with the dang thing. I was trying so hard to have a positive attitude and remember for myself the things I talk about daily on-air like "God's got a plan" and "God will always provide" and "God won't leave you hanging." But I was doubting, I was really struggling.

I walked into the U-haul office and heard some familiar tunes playing! I was next in line, smiled to the man behind the counter and said "Good morning, how are you? I'm so glad you're playing KSBJ!" The man goes on to tell me it's his favorite station and he always has it on inside. I tell him I work there and after connecting several dots I learn he's been involved with KSBJ for years and goes to church with several staff members. His name is Albert and he's amazing. He helped hook things up to DK's truck and while doing so spoke encouragement and truth to me about good things to come, God's favor, expecting great things and knowing He will provide. It was as though a close friend was helping us out and I was incredibly grateful.

We left and headed to south downtown to pick up my car. At 7:30 am these guys were already in full swing and I met Ron's brother Mike as we walked up. He's a big dude with long hair and put his arm around my shoulder to console me, was so sorry I was having such a tough time. Ron pulled up a few minutes later and at first glance this guy is tough, no nonsense and is a straight shooter. He's from New York and talks like it too. As the guys are helping DK load my car on the trailer, Ron tells me again he's willing to buy it. I'm fretting, not feeling peace about anything, everything is happening so fast and before I knew it, it was time to drive away.

Ron encourages me in his gruff voice, saying Volvo is a great car and if he didn't have his truck he'd just keep that Volvo wagon over there (he points across the lot) for himself. My eyes settle on at this beautiful slick black wagon then dart towards DK to my right as a huge mysterious grin creeps across his face, my eyes get big, I start shaking my head but as I look back to my left at Ron... he was halfway to the office to retrieve the keys to the wagon. A few moments later, DK and I are cruising around downtown... rather, FLOATING around downtown in this beautiful car. I knew right away I wanted it but absolutely didn't feel worthy or able.

Ron let me take it for the day and I felt so at home in that driver's seat. I don't know if it was because the weather was so beautiful or because the radio works in this car, maybe because the seats are the most comfortable? It drives so nice and I feel safer than safe.

In Humble, I dropped the car down the street from the station at Diamond Automotive, this guy Jeff is awesome and has helped me in the past with some minor car issues so I asked him to take a look at things for a second opinion. Everything checked out just fine and I felt more confident about making the purchase.

Also, Ron emailed me the Car Fax on the car while I was in the studio. I shared about my day on the air and then received a beautiful email from Albert (from U-haul) and I felt even more encouraged!! Ron and I emailed back and forth a few times and he ended up tuning in to KSBJ.

The next morning I woke up super early to get my game face on and make sure I had my whole approach nailed. There was still a lot of doubt looming as I didn't feel deserving and felt it was highly likely something would go wrong. I was worried, anxious and nervous. I was running low on time but decided to take the time to focus on a quiet time from my Sparkling Gems. The reading was all about open doors, discernment, people who speak encouraging truth, and God's favor. Wow!!

Ron called to see when I'd be by to do the exchange and we ended up talking about church. He has beautiful conviction and strength and I'm excited to see how God moves in his life even more. I invited him to church and I pray he comes :)

So if you know me, you know I hate handling or dealing with money. Dad came with me to the bank and though I didn't need a loan for much, I HATE being in debt. That was by far the most stressful part from there we had smooth sailing. As we drove towards Ron's, I was so excited for dad to meet this character. Ron and I talked about everything, he asked why DK hasn't proposed yet, I saw pictures of his family and my dad was in hysterical stitches the whole time. We had SO MUCH FUN, haha. Ron was unbelievably easy to work with, so informative and I feel confident that if anything goes wrong with this car, I have a great trustworthy mechanic to take it to.

Trustworthy mechanic is no longer an oxy-moron.

I drove to work yesterday in my new car completely at peace. It's what I was searching for, anxious for, and needing so badly. Not only was I driving a safe new car I felt great about, but I didn't even have to worry about handling my old broken one. I wish I'd been more relaxed through the whole experience, I should know better by now, right?!? But, IT ALWAYS WORKS OUT. God will provide.

On my drive to work this morning, I played one of my old Natasha Bedingfield c.d.'s and with the windows down and the sunroof open on this beautiful day I sang at the top of my lungs:

"Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH ARMS WIDE OPEN

Today is where your book begins,

The rest is still unwritten."

Thank you dad, thank you DK, thank you Ron, thank you Albert and thank YOU for praying.