I was just about done painting, loving the new blue and was brainstorming for what color towels to accent with, in my head making up every possible excuse to ohhh darn, guess I have to run to Target :) About this time, the dogs start doing their hungry dance so I open the food bin and Rats! dog food is almost out but Yay! I really DO have to run to Target!
I was totally scrubbed out, wearing an old t-shirt dad got on one of his travels over 10 years ago, old running shorts, black flip flops and I couldn't find my coat so I opted to throw on my favorite vintage find, a circa 1960's 3/4 arm length black dress coat with fur collar and wrists. My hair had paint in it, I'm sure but seriously, who did I have to impress.
I loaded up the doggies and we were on our way. Once inside Target, I decided to stick with white towels and keep it simple. I heaved the dog food into my cart and got some laundry detergent too. I was making my way to check out and I guess until this point was completely oblivious to how I looked... until I heard these ladies behind me.
Did they seriously think I couldn't hear them? I estimated they were a few paces behind me and it became more and more obvious they were laughing at me. I heard "What was she thinking?" and a "Is she serious?" and the rest was that truly snide snicker that I remember from high school. It was awful.
I didn't stop and turn around to address them like maybe would have been the daring in your face kind of thing to do, but instead as I was loading up my items to check out, I glanced over to see that they were mother and daughter, she was probably high school age... and her mother wasn't like some hot, fit, well dressed woman either. Not that being that way would entitle her to laugh at me, but I just felt crushed that a mother would be an example like this to her daughter. I also wonder how easy it is for her daughter to take that same perspective and attitude to school and laugh at girls the way she laughed at me.
What if this was the only coat I had? She doesn't know me, doesn't know my situation and I truly felt convicted and challenged more and more turn the tables in areas I feel that I judge people. It just sucked...
8 comments:
you said in an older entry that you wanted to become more personal..these latest entries are so great. thank you for sharing such vulnerable pieces of your heart!
Thoughts like yours really do make me stop and think od how often and quickly I judge people. Thank you for sharing this!
Hugs to you!
Natalie
Yes, yes, yes. You got it! They do take it back to high school and as i tell the high school students I teach, "they gotta learn it somewhere." How glorious, the things that we can teach our daugthers. How sad, the things that we can teach our daugthers. I teach a course to high school students about human dignity. The bottom line is this: Just let people exist. If you think they are ugly, fat, gay, dumb, are a bad dresser (wearing the fab vintage jacket with the flip-flops :)) - fine, but you don't have a right to make them feel less than just because you feel not as ugly, fat, gay, dumb, are a better dresser - just let them exist.
That way, you don't have to have regrets about things you shouldn't have said, looks you shouldn't have given.
My students often say, this is great, but we can't change the world. I get sad, but I say to them, "I can change my daughter's world and I can change the life of the person I let exist instead of making fun of her."
Liz, keep wearing the jacket, with the painted hair!
I am 5'11" tall......I don't know if people think I can't hear from way up here or what. I can not tell you how many times I have sat down somewhere only to hear people behind me complain that now they won't be able to see. Or if I'm wearing heels, how many times I've heard people whispering or staring.
Seriously, people?? I have gotten much more brazen and won't be rude, but will make a comment to let people know that my hearing is still intact. I am often met with embarrassed explanations, but maybe it'll serve as a lesson. Or else next time I'll sic my 6'8" brother on them!
Great story, Liz. Thanks for the insight!
you painted your bathroom? again? i must go check it out. (oh wait... did I miss the point of this entry? haha. i bet you looked great! thanks for sharing)
I have become addicted to your blog over the last few months, I check back 2-3 times a week and I am constantly encouraged by the lessons Christ leaves infront of you that you so openly welcome, absorb, and share. I am so greatful that you blog often because I am continually encouraged and taught incredible things by you. I enjoy listening to you on air in the evenings on my drive home and love learning about the area we both live in (Montrose Area RULES!) through your surprise dates with DK and the things you learn and do. Keep it up, and I hope you are continueally encouraged!
What the heck....I'll paint my hair too!
Post a Comment