I'm probably one of the more insecure people you know. I doubt myself, second guess myself, I twirl my hair a lot. I know I could always be thinner, funnier, more productive, more focused and should definitely be more on top of it. It being life in general. I'm definitely pretty insecure. But, well... I mean, what do you think? (hehe)
This morning I had coffee with a dear friend I used to work with. Alicia is incredible, really insightful and from the time we sat down to talk till we left with 30 more things to ask about and catch up on, I was floored with how much I needed to have this coffee date. She is SO encouraging and really gifted when choosing what words to use. Hmmm, almost as though God was using her to speak to me. Wow, imagine that!
Out of nowhere I tell her how insecure I think I am. How I'm realizing it more and more. Then she shared that insecurity is something she struggles with in some areas as well. She went on to share about how and why but I heard something different in her. What I heard was more like brokenness and humility, understanding God's sovereignty and love for her even in the hard times, grateful for His goodness and provision, accepting His calling on her life even though she didn't see herself capable without His grace.
And that's when I saw it clearer than day.
See, I know all about brokenness and being humbled before everyone I know. Where we are weak, He is strong. I know it, I live it. But what I didn't realize so vividly was how the enemy is so able to invade that brokenness, planting fear and doubt, creating insecurity and questioning.
I'm not pretty enough to be his girlfriend.
I'm not qualified for this job.
I'm a terrible mother.
I'm not good at doing anything!
But I clearly see the difference now, that in brokenness there is a confidence. Knowing with God on your side, who can be against you? And with insecurity there is fear and fear is NOT of God.
That man is blessed to have someone who loves him as much as I do.
For this moment in time, God has me in this job for a reason!
I will rise up and be the best mother I know how to be today.
I am unique because God created me and has a will for my life.
Breathe it in. Soak it up. It's your destiny!!
And now I know something new to pray over all of us. Your thoughts?