Tuesday, June 2, 2009

insecurity vs. brokenness.

I'm probably one of the more insecure people you know. I doubt myself, second guess myself, I twirl my hair a lot. I know I could always be thinner, funnier, more productive, more focused and should definitely be more on top of it. It being life in general. I'm definitely pretty insecure. But, well... I mean, what do you think? (hehe)

This morning I had coffee with a dear friend I used to work with. Alicia is incredible, really insightful and from the time we sat down to talk till we left with 30 more things to ask about and catch up on, I was floored with how much I needed to have this coffee date. She is SO encouraging and really gifted when choosing what words to use. Hmmm, almost as though God was using her to speak to me. Wow, imagine that!

Out of nowhere I tell her how insecure I think I am. How I'm realizing it more and more. Then she shared that insecurity is something she struggles with in some areas as well. She went on to share about how and why but I heard something different in her. What I heard was more like brokenness and humility, understanding God's sovereignty and love for her even in the hard times, grateful for His goodness and provision, accepting His calling on her life even though she didn't see herself capable without His grace.

And that's when I saw it clearer than day.

See, I know all about brokenness and being humbled before everyone I know. Where we are weak, He is strong. I know it, I live it. But what I didn't realize so vividly was how the enemy is so able to invade that brokenness, planting fear and doubt, creating insecurity and questioning.

I'm not pretty enough to be his girlfriend.

I'm not qualified for this job.

I'm a terrible mother.

I'm not good at doing anything!

But I clearly see the difference now, that in brokenness there is a confidence. Knowing with God on your side, who can be against you? And with insecurity there is fear and fear is NOT of God.

That man is blessed to have someone who loves him as much as I do.

For this moment in time, God has me in this job for a reason!

I will rise up and be the best mother I know how to be today.

I am unique because God created me and has a will for my life.

Breathe it in. Soak it up. It's your destiny!!

And now I know something new to pray over all of us. Your thoughts?


Keri said...

This totally mirrors my most recent post on the "P" word....perfect. A battle I am in much more often than I wish I was! God has been dealing with me on this a lot. It is my desire to find my security in Him alone and not anything I do, say, or look like.

I love the part about insecurity and fear....well stated!

Emanuele said...

Hi liz! mi name, as u can see is Ceci, im from south america! ive been following your blog, and flickr for more than a year now! Its great!

This is the first time i wanted to comment something... Cause, i think insecurity is one of the biggest problems in women,We ruin friendships, relationships, ministeries, cause we doubt, of ourselves, God and people...

You are so right! You know what else God taught me? When we are thinking "im not pretty enough, im not qualify, im a terrible mother, etc" we are looking to ourselves, not at him, so he cant use us. It never is about us, its about him. Its not about what we CANT do, its about what he CAN.

When God told Moises, what he wanted to do with his life, he looked at himself, not at God, thats why God got Mad... Its a fake humbled... is it make any sense to you?

We have to put our eyes up to see him, not to see our weekness, we will always be not enough without him...

:) hope u read it!

Ceci Emanuele


Jessica Hill said...

This is something that all of us need to hear! It is awful how sneaky the lies of the enemy are and how they try to invade all areas of our life! What a great reminder that these fears and insecurities are "NOT OF GOD".

Very encouraging - thank you :)

Official Fairygodmother said...

Yikes! I thought at first you were writing about me (ha ha)
Insecure could be my middle name, I find myself constantly struggling with this and really appreciate you're openness and insight. I am learning more and more that God is working through me - by my being humbled before him.
Love you bunches!

Susan S. said...

Thanks for that wonderful post and great perspective. I guess we all face insecurity and from the other side of the fence we think EVERYONE but ourselves has it together...or so it seems. It's humbling to kow that we all go through this but with God's working through and....all things are possible. Thanks Liz!

patricia said...

Liz, I listen to you on my way back from work. Today, I fell on this blog and read this. And you have NO idea how much this touches my heart. Lately I have been having a lot of insecurities about different things, trying to remind myself of who I am in Him. Of how I may not be all that in the eyes of the world, but I am all that and more to Him. He made me fearful & wonderful and I try to remind myself of that everyday. Thank you again for this. God bless!