Tuesday, September 22, 2009

get out of my head, you bozo.

Lately I seem to be surrounded by whopping themes. *Please understand I strictly reserve the term "whopping" only for serious occasions to describe a particular person place or thing as "out of this world" i.e. amazing cheeseburgers, extreme enlightenment, those sorts of things... ya know.

Here's a good one to mull over: I think a lot. Let me rephrase, I SWIRL a lot. Seems that I get stuck pretty often in circles while thinking about just... stuff... and it happens when the doubt or fear creeps in soon becoming a disastrous mixture. Swirly thoughts + No resolution = Exhausted Liz.

One of my best friends and I were talking about a job interview she had yesterday at 2 p.m. It's a really awesome opportunity and for me from the outside looking in, it's easy to see how she's a perfect fit and they'd be crazy to not hire her. I think she was "swirling" while we were talking beforehand though, feeling pretty negative about the whole thing. She wasn't feeling great physically, (darn you Eve!!) she was pretty low on confidence (that never ever happens to me, ya right) and eventually chalked it up to it "just maybe not being God's will that I get the job."

A few nights ago, I woke up while it was still dark outside. I wasn't completely awake... you know where you're somewhat conscious but really dreamy like? So there I was, sort of in a sleep limbo. I always feel really vulnerable in that place though and I know the enemy knows this too. While I was stirring, my thoughts of things to do later that day turned into things I did do in the past and were basically ruining my current cozy spot. It's happened like this before and is somewhat familiar, this guilt and achey gross feeling that in my wide awake state is far more easy to put to rest.

Somehow, this time though, I found strength to ask the question "God? If this guilt and these reminders are from You being stirred up in my vulnerable state because You want to do something through it, then make it known. Otherwise, bozo Satan creeper, take a hike and know your place."

Suddenly the bluebirds and green lush trees entered back into the scene and without the actual letters H-O-P-E being written out across the blue sky, there was definitely a new unmistakeable theme present. Hope.

I know the devil is good at a few things. He's good at lying, creeping, and he's great at using insecurity, fear and doubt to sound like he's the voice of God. He wanted to distract my friend from doing well and having confidence in herself during her interview. He wants to make you feel gross and unworthy by reminding you of things that helloooo you've already been forgiven for.

Maybe when you start to feel unsure of the voice whispering in your ear just remember the holy spirit's conviction doesn't come ugly. (Disclaimer: truths revealed and growing pains are pretty tough, but always laced with hope and freedom)

Here's your proof: John 10:10 "The thief approaches with malicious intent, looking to steal, slaughter, and destroy; I came to give life with JOY AND ABUNDANCE."

*to the authors of The Voice translation, I believe this passage should be tagged with an appropriate "BOOYAH".


Allison said...

Went to Beth Moore's Bible Study on Revelation tonight- she also talked about how Satan attacks us in generalities. Just...crummy, insecure feelings...maybe no particular rhyme or reason. The Holy Spirit affirms us in SPECIFICS. Be encouraged!

d.j. iverson said...

'bozo satan creeper' - classic.