I'm convinced she's throwing dance parties and really enjoying her stay in there for now. I'm learning her schedule of when she's awake and possibly sleeping, but no matter what, if there's music on, she's aware of it. So from 3-7 pm every weekday you can count on the fact she's up and moving around while I'm in the studio :)
I feel great. Some days I feel more tired than others, but for the most part I feel incredibly blessed that I feel so pleasant. Two days ago I woke up in a really foul mood though and the rest of the morning seemed to follow accordingly, until I got to work and was sharing with Barbara about how mad I was at DK. Mike Kankelfritz peeked his head out of his office and joined in on my rant but before long they had me laughing and realizing that yes, I'm pregnant and emotional and everything is a-ok. I can't even remember why I was upset anymore.
We read she's approximately 2 lbs. now and 14.5 inches long. Hard to fathom. All the diagrams show the baby upside down in my belly but I struggle with that fact because I know I've felt feet on either sides of my rib cage within hours of one another. She's so funny... and very visible. She kicks my laptop when I'm on it in bed and while I lay on my back, I can see her bopping all around in there!
We still haven't decided on a name but this morning over coffee for him and tea (vanilla roiboos, yum!) for me, DK helped calm my premature anxieties over what a terrible parent I'm becoming for my lack of ability to name my first kid. "We've got a great list to choose from and once we see her little face, we will know." I love that man. So I've been calling her my fuzzy little Peach for now. Cute, ya? Nicknames seem to come to me better than actual official names, eh.
We've been working steadily on the house, getting things organized and settled. It's interesting how when moving from a big open space like our loft, relearning how to compartmentalize our belongings into rooms is really a strange and difficult task. If I'm totally honest, there are moments I wish my husband didn't love decorating so much because if we don't see eye to eye on what bookshelf goes where, I certainly get overwhelmed and easily crumble into feeling like I have no say. Which is certainly not true, my head just seems to get clouded a lot easier. DK is so patient with me, there is no one else on earth who can calm me like he does.
I took a big scary leap by calling a daycare center for the little Peach a couple days ago and by the end of the call, thanked the lady on the other end of the line for her calming spirit and voice. It wasn't as bad as I thought! From the time she answered till we hung up, she made me feel as though I was the most important call of her day, answered all my questions thoroughly and made the whole process seem a lot less daunting than I'd conjured up in my dramatic imagination. Ok, we can do this.
On the baby nesting preparation front, we've narrowed down the gist of what furniture we'll acquire for the nursery. I'm enlisting the help of my lovely friends Stephanie and Andrea, both of them interior designers to come help with the placement, final selection of colors, etc. DK and I are feeling pretty confident in our selections as we haven't overspent or overdone it. All in all, we want this room to be simple, colorful, and a representation of who and where she comes from. There've been fleeting moments where I've found myself slightly feeling the pressure of what we're supposed to buy, products we're supposed to use, and things we HAVE to HAVE before she even arrives. It's all pretty silly, a lot of it so bulky, and much of it unneccesaary. Someone told me early on that everyone's experience is completely different and not just in reference to the giving birth part of things. So that's pretty helpful!
Last weekend dad came over to help around the house and near the end of his visit we sat in the (very disorganized) nursery amidst all of my old dolls, her new clothes, and some lovely items my friend Becky graciously gave to us... DK had pulled a box of my old things from the garage and in there I found all my old journals, dating back to 1988. I was 7. I read every post outloud to dad, we were hunched over in hysterics... so funny to fathom my little hands writing these thoughts and perspectives from over 20 years ago. And dad agrees, I haven't really changed a whole lot since then.
There are moments like these lately where I try so hard to somehow freeze time. I know it's virtually impossible, but I feel as though I could scrunch my eyes closed just tight enough, hold my breath and firmly clench the moment in my mama bear claws and not allow it to escape me.
Another moment came earlier this week when we were lying in bed and DK was having a conversation with our little Peach. "There's an entire world of adventure out here for you and we're going to show you as much of it as possible. And from there you'll go see places and meet people that you come home and tell us all about." He went on to tell her about career options he thought would be totally fitting saying "... and if you decide to go into rock n' roll, your mama and I will fully support that decision." I layed there, my fingers tangled in his curly locks, holding my breath, again trying to freeze this surreal moment forever.
On Tuesday she was with me in the historic moments I sat at my desk and watched the live feed on my computer screen as Charles Bolden, retired astronaut and current Administrator of NASA stood at a podium at Kennedy Space Center and announced the final resting places of the Endeavor, the Atlantis, the Discovery and the Enterprise. Houston was not selected. Together, she and I were baffled, completly stunned. (I'll thoroughly explain to her how difficult this is for Houstonians to comprehend when she's a little older.)
And later this evening, she'll be with me when we first see pregnant Kim, my beautiful sister-in-law and my brother, the sharp and handsome dad to be. They're on a flight right now from Moscow (Kuala Lumpur, Singapore, Moscow, Houston) and will touch down in Houston around 2 p.m. They are not just visiting this time, but here to stay! I'm elated over the fact I get to be near my sister not just while I'm pregnant, but of course while she's pregnant as well!! This couldn't be a more exciting day, cousins get to meet for the first time ever!!
I better get to work, I have a big day tomorrow as we're broadcasting live from the MS 150 Expo. I've only ever been to marathon expos and from what I understand, it's going to be wild and so much fun! Go KSBJ Team Hope!
Love love from little Peaches and me,