Wednesday, September 9, 2009

used to.

Don't know what's going on with me lately but have never had such insane writer's block. After funny things happen or enlightenment takes place within my day, I'd immediately start writing in my head an opening paragraph and think of what photo to use along with the story. It's been nearly a month and because this blog is such an important tool I use to keep in touch with you, I thought maybe if I just started writing, something would eventually pour out.

Denver: I'm really ecstatic about going in late October to run my 4th half marathon. My incredible friend Lynn whom I know from college (remind me to tell you how we first met) lives in Wyoming with her husband and kids and in the last year, our friendship has blossomed and bloomed. It's insane how much we are in each other's heads and so on the same page. She's a brilliant woman with a beautiful family and recently lost a ton of (baby)weight and because of her endless supply of motivation, I'm inspired to stay fit and running. Our conversations usually consist of "Hey what are you doing tonight, want to come over?" to which I reply "Ya, sure I'll pick up dinner and be there in 5." It was because of this we started looking forward to a realistic date we could actually get together and visit... so when I missed my chance to register for Houston 2010 and started thinking outside the Texas box, I came across the Denver marathon. We both couldn't shake the idea OR the excitement of how realistic this was turning out to be and now here we are, 5 weeks away!! In addition to that, one of my best friends Heather (also from college) now LIVES in Denver so we've turned this into a big girl's weekend. In Denver. I am ecstatic and absolutely giddy. I'm pretty sure I could live there one day.

KSBJ: I can't believe I've been here for 5 years. I celebrated my 5 year anniversary on August 17th and since then I've felt a different kind of confidence in my ability and what God has called me to do here. I've been thinking a lot about writing some "behind the scenes memoirs" of my time here - esp. about my favorite artists and the growth I've seen in Christian music from my perspective. Interaction with artists backstage and in the studio, time with co-workers, embarrassing experiences and favorite moments at events with listeners and the beautiful people I've gotten to meet. Wow, I'm so blessed. Maybe I'll just start blogging about that. And I'm still not completely settled in my new office upstairs in Building A, it kinda feels a little weird. Maybe it's going to take some time to adjust, but after so many years in Building B, I feel a little sentimental :) Plus, sharing an office with Mike and Jen and being so close to Barb was a huge perk. I do however love my view. I have huge windows facing east and will often spin around, prop my feet up on the sill and watch the planes, one after the other descend directly above me into IAH. It's quite a show... And I daydream about what's in store for the next 5 years. Can you even imagine?

Family: I miss my brothers and Kim more than EVER. They are all doing really well but MAN it hurts. Dad and I are planning a trip to Belize in October (it's our favorite) and I heard Andrew may make it. I hope so. We've been several times and each trip something has kept us from getting to Placencia, a town far south. I think we're gonna try for it again. I love traveling with my family. You know I was homeschooled? Dad's worked for Continental for over 25 years so growing up, dad traveled a lot for work and because we were homeschooled, we just went with him. We did mostly the States, Europe and Central America and I'm pretty sure it's the sole reason we still all crave adventure. We got the traveling bug early on, man. And we feel like we each took our traveling passion to a whole new corner of the earth. Boy oh boy, do we have some stories. That could be a whole other blog.

Love: DK and I ventured into some uncharted waters recently and have had a really tough time. I credit this tough stuff to my lack of creativity or desire to write lately but didn't feel like mentioning it earlier in this post. Now I'm just rollin' and it came out. It's hard being on the radio and living the details of my life so publicly... then feeling with this one delicate subject, because it's so vulnerable right now and I don't have all the answers to the why where when and how, I'm feel like I'm kinda being dishonest with everyone. I hate this. I choose to (try to) allow God to keep me an open book so that in whatever way He wants to encourage, share, grow or whatever through this platform called KSBJ radio, I'm game. I share everything else, but this has been the toughest one and I just. don't. wanna. The most stubborn part of me is pretty much mourning some details pertaining hopes and dreams and because I know God is working other important things right now, I'm essentially being told to wait. Again. And I don't like waiting, you see... I make my plans and I make them happen. I get a little teary eyed when I think about it - like right now - and regardless of the growth and wisdom I've attained from past experiences, you'd think I'd be a bit more patient. Everyday I'm seeing new things happen, some days it's something big like friends who love us telling us they love us and great things are coming soon, some days it's like a pretty rainbow or something nice like that. Either way, I love him and I believe good things are to come. I'm trusting big time.

Friends: Writing about all that stuff with DK made me think so much more about my friends, wow. I have the best friends in the world. I've never really had incredible and consistent best friends until I experienced a new dimension of God's love through these women in my life... women like Amanda, Domenica, Kristen, Brandi, Lynn, Heather H., Tiffany, Cindy, Heather S., and Becky. In the last couple months or so, I've felt a bit submerged in this comfortable idea that amongst them, it's totally ok to not have concise thoughts and that allowing me to be a really huge dork is part of what it means to ya know, love me :)

Anywho, I guess I just ralphed all over my blog. Thanks for believing such great things. God is good, I'll be in touch soon 'cause I think this really helped with my stinky writer's block :) XOXO.

13 comments:

James ~n~ Amber said...

Our guitar player and his family lived in Belize quite a bit when he was a kid, doing mission work. His parents just went back and they run a non profit church camp. They try to get teams from the states to come and work at the camp doing things like vacation bible school and they go out and spread the Word in the villages. They have doctors and dentists come in and care for the people. Our Tuesday night group has been praying for them each week. Such an awesome thing !

Natalie said...

Liz,

I know I've said it before but I am constantly awed by how open you are here...You inspire me to try and do the same.

I just want you to know that I'll be on my knees with you praying over you and goings on in your life....God has amazing things in store for you!

You continue to touch my life in such an incredible way, Liz. Not a day goes by where I don't think about you and then Thank God for you being in my life.

I love you.

Keri said...

I will totally give you my spot in the Houston half marathon if you want it.....wondering if I completely lost my mind signing up in the first place.

Hang in there.....it wasn't that long ago that you wrote that poignant post about being open and honest like you mentioned. Don't you love it when you are put to the test after putting something out there like that? Awesome.......

BTW, I don't like to wait either. At all.....instant gratification is my middle name. If I have learned anything in my rapidly approaching 40 years, I have learned that forcing my way always ends up more disastrous than actually letting God be in charge. I know this is something you already know, just want you to know that I've traveled this same road many times before.

Hang in there my friend......oh, and I LOVE that you used the word "ralphed" in your post. I am totally going to have to steal that one day soon!

Heather said...

I so remember what it was like to try to wade through the (sometimes blissful and sometimes murky) waters of love. I guess I was just reminded of those times in my own life as I read your post and could really empathize. Just wanted you to know that I'm praying that God comforts you and amazes you as you wait in love.

Cole and Holly said...

Write the book! I'll be your first buyer. Miss you.

Brittany said...

Liz,
You have been missed, but your new-found transparency is simply refreshing.
God has blessed you a powerful voice, and I enjoy listening to you on KSBJ and through your writing, here.

Official Fairygodmother said...

sending you a great big HUG!
love you
JoAnn

Stephanie said...

good your blog "ralph." You are a beautiful beautiful lady. I'm glad to know you. :)

Vivian said...

I love reading your blog and I love how God is using you as a medium to transform and inspire people. I don't know if this concept relates to you but I remember reading a book about Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot...and when you said the word "wait"... I immediately remembered that book and what the premise of it was. I pray that God will help you in this season of your life. And yes, there is nothing like good friends in life.. I am definitely grateful for the ones I have..remain blessed!

~Misty said...

Liz,

Keep being patient. Keep trusting God. Know it all works out for His good and he never gives us more than we can handle! I know you realize all of this but sometimes it helps to read it from someone else. God has brought you through so much and taught you so much through each event (good or bad) in your life to help you through these moments and future ones. I can't give you any sage love advice because I'm just a single gal trusting God and being patient in that area of my life, but I can tell you to keep God first and in it and it will all work out according to His will. I've seen it happen so much in other's lives!

Have a fabulous Friday!

Deek said...

Thanks for "ralphing" on the blog Bertha, we've been wondering how you're doing! Miss you too!

Mark your calendar for December 12th.

Toby out...

Deek said...

Thanks for "ralphing" on the blog Bertha, we've been wondering how you're doing! Miss you too!

Mark your calendar for December 12th.

Toby out...

WENDEE HOLTCAMP said...

aww Liz, I'm so sorry to hear you are having difficulties with love stuff. I don't know you, but I am also "somewhat" in the public eye (I'm a writer) and also have a personal blog on which I have always been very open and vulnerable, and I have had a very very challenging last year on the relationship front, and have found my "blog-well" drying up for similar reasons - not wanting to share every detail of what I'm going through, and not the least of which is to protect my boyfriend's privacy(but the relationship challenges also made me less willing or desiring to blog about anything at all). I was married once, and now trying to find God's will in a new relationship, and it is a whole new weird ballgame. I listen to ksbj and have not heard the spring in your step (or your voice) quite as much as in the past and wondered if there wasn't something going on. Just know your listeners (me!) love you, and i'll pray for you and lift up your relationship and your future! God Bless you - you're an amazing woman and God has great things in store for you! :)